Help, I don't know how to make friends

Question

Okay, I'm 39 and I've never had any close friends and I really don't know why, I would soooo like to have a couple of really close friends but I am just clueless on how to make friends. I belong to the LDS church but my ward is quite cliquey and I am just hoping for some good suggestions here....

Answer 1

Look, if you go to work try to get cool with people. Be friendly and the same will come back. Try this and see if it works.

Answer 2

Same here.

Get a little help, some therapy, there's a million things we people can try, but not alone!

Good luck!

PS- the old axiom is:

Seek firends, and you will find none.

Aim to BE a friend, and you will have plenty.

Answer 3

man 39? You should have fixed this problem ages ago lol.

Remember the saying. "Can't teach an old dog new tricks"

Answer 4

Well to make friend's first be your self

stay cool

dont talk too much or too less

alway's be nice

dont gossip

appear wise

and well try not too fear making friends i was the same way

good luck =)

and if you asked this too try to get advise on how too make some one like you it is not worthit if they do not like you for who you are ... there is alot of ppl in this world dont worry =)

Answer 5

Make friends from other wards in your school. I ended up doing that, of course that was in UT int he 80's but I tried so hard to fit in and my peer group wouldn't even say hello to me. They would stare at me in church, but otherwise, I didn't exist, they were amazed when I had a boyfriend, like what the WTFugde, I first made freidns with the stoneys, but I started having dreams I would start to drink and smoke, so I started hanging out with the smart mormon crowd and then I started hanging out with soem other gals from other wards and became active in about four clubs, made myself active in sports like baseball, and did debate and choir. I went to all the ward and stake dances. If it had ot be so, I use to hang out by myself as well, so I could get use to my own company and go on the bus to the malls and explore UT. If an imbarressing moment happen, I just laughed at myself. I tried not to be a homebody. UT had clubs that did not serve alcoholic drinks so I went out dancing.  

Answer 6

Cor, I wish I had a definite answer for this.  I don't suspect that anyone will be able to give you anything other than generics.  What I mean by that is the whole "be yourself" kind of thing.  Broadly, that's true, but it's in the application that the problems lie in.  i.e. What happens when you get nervous around people, or people don't seem to like you being you.  I doubt anyone, including myself, is going to be able to give you a satisfactory answer.  Since I can't give you an answer, I'll give advice, though, as said earlier, the devil is in the details.  

- Don't get uncomfortable.  Or, at least, don't SEEM uncomfortable.  If you seem comfortable (even when quacking in your little boots), you'll eventually get the other person to open up, and start talking to you.

- Ask questions about the other person.  Everybody's favorite topic is themselves.  Learn about them, ask questions about them, and let them talk about themselves.  People like that.  Also, once they something, ask relevant follow up questions.  Some good questions are:  "what type of music do you like?", "what do you think of (current event)?", etc.  

- Have a bunch of good stories, jokes, etc. that you can tell.  Find some and remember them, then trot them out when you can.  

- LISTEN to other people.  Let them talk about their problems, and be a good listener.  

- NEVER be embarrassed.  That doesn't mean be inappropriate, but if somebody contradicts you, or corrects you, or somehow puts you in a position that looks bad, don't worry about it.  If someone belittles you, or puts you down, that's a different thing.  But if you make a gaffe, just keep pluggin.

- Follow up with people.  If you have a good convo with somebody, let them know that you enjoyed it.  Everybody likes being complimented.  Then, give them a call.  Don't just sit around waiting for them to call you.  

- Be prepared to fail.  Cuz you will.  You will meet a bunch of people who forget you the next day.  Oh well.  Keep going at it until you find a few who DON'T.  

Hopefully these work, although, as I said, they're just suggestions.  Good luck, and if you ever find a surefire way to win friends, let me know.