Help, My 7 yr old is having behavior problems?

Question

I have a 7yr old son who is so bright and caring but lately he's having trouble in school with excessive talking and not wanting to follow directions at home and school. When i ask him to put on his clothes or just do a chore, he avoids it until i tell him time and time again and then get mad.When he can't have something or go anywhere he gets so angry at me and sometimes trys to push me alittle(which he knows how much he gets in trouble for), i always stand my ground and don't let him get his way but It's fustrating how many times i have to ask him to do something and how he can't get whatever he wants. I have great communication and i feel if something was bothering him he'd tell me, but according to him he's not sad or mad about anything. I've tryed taking away vidio games and tv and it works for one day at school then gets in trouble the next day. I'm a first time parent and confussed on why he's acting out this way, any advice would be appreiciated thanks!

Answer 1

My granddaughter is like that all the time, so for her, it's normal...they say around 7, there is a phase they go through,,,maybe it's that.

Answer 2

thats typical of adhd so you might want to take him to a doctor

Answer 3

wow,from experience it sounds like a mish-mash of things.....spoiled a little(?)...if his IQ etc has been tested the boredom part may stem from that..really smart kids tend to do what has to be done quickly,then they're left with all this time on their hands and don't know what to do with it---aka waisting it and getting in trouble bothering other kids who arent as fast getting things done.....but basically it sounds like some major reiforcement in the art of taking "no" for an answer ....make the rulebook plain for him to understand...here's what happens if you do "A" or here's what will happen if you do "B",and remember it's your choice...he needs to quickly learn his choices are what's making his like a wreck, not you or anything else.......for starters anyway......good luck and talk to a professional(and please--not one who'll try and convince you it's a three letter disease!!).......

Answer 4

It won't hurt to get him a physical and it's great that you are wanting to help him. Has anything changed at home? My 12 yr old started getting moody and the teacher brought it up but it is because we are having another baby. Make sure he knows that you are there for him, that the door is open to talk to you anytime. You say are you are a first time parent, are you single? I only ask because you didn't mention dad. If dad is in the picture have him talk to him also. Sometimes boys do not want to talk to their moms no matter how great the relationship is.

Have you tried to set up a reward system? To have him earn points or whatever for doing what he is suppose to do.So many points for having a good day at school, doing his chores, etc. Then at the end of the week he can cash them in for a treat or a visit somewhere. You could do different things and if he wants to save the points at the end of the month have a big "prize."

I hope you find something that works and that this phase passes quickly for him. Keep the communication up with the school and let them know you are open to all suggestions.

Answer 5

That boy needs a spanking and you need to get a little tougher.  Tell him you love him but this is what he gets if you have to get mad in order for him to do something.

Answer 6

Its just a boy being a boy. He's 7 - not 17!!!!

Why is it when a child misbehaves just a little bit these days everyone is first to jump on the ADHD bandwagon!!!??

My god.......  no wonder kids are growing up with complexes these days...

Answer 7

Oh my gosh ... it's like looking into my past ....

We had the exact same problems with my son last spring. Excessive talking, easly frustrated, not being able to pay attention in school ... etc. We took him the doctor, and he was immediately diagnosed with ADHD,  (he had six out of the seven symptoms!)

What our doctor did was give us a quiz, which determined that our son had ADHD. Some of the questions included excessive talking, inablitly to follow directions, driven by a motor, runs everywhere, and easily frustrated.

This is NOT normal behavior for a 7-year-old. Pushing you is NOT normal behavior! You shouldn't have to ask him several times to do something, and then have him get mad at you!

Also, wanted to let you know that a child with ADHD doesn't want to be acting the way he does. I'm guessing your child doesn't want to be aggressive towards you, but doesn't know how to control himself. There has been actual studies, showing that children who have ADHD have a lack of serotin in their brain (that's a feel good chemical that prevents us from lashing out, and helps us handle stress appropriately).

ADHD children cannot just "knock it off." They just cannot control their behavior, and be perfect little angels. However, there is help available through your local doctor, who can offer family therapy (which teaches you and your child to work together to control his behavior), and possibly medicine to help regulate your son's behavior. (What helped us was doing both. Without changing the behavior, the medication had no effect on my son's behavior.)

An apt description of ADHD is a child sitting on the couch trying to do his homework,  while the TV is on, and the radio is on, and someone is talking to him -- ALL AT THE SAME TIME. That is what happens with ADHD children all the time.

Also, I cannot emphasize enough that you SHOULD NOT spank this child for his behavior. I spanked my ADHD child when he was acting up, and not only did it have no effect, we both felt so bad, we cried  tons afterwards. Spanking an ADHD child for his behavior is like killing a tiger for catching a bird and eating it.

I'm sure your child is bright and wonderful. I would suggest nuturing those talents, (if he likes reading, for example, let him pick out several books from the library), and spending special time with him every day.

The reward system (a sticker chart -- the child gets two stickers for every 15 minutes he behaves; he gets 3 stickers for doing homework w/out a fuss--- then when he has 20 stickers, he turns them in for a special reward) worked OK for us. But it got to how many stickers do I get for doing this?, so it eventually had to be phased out. In the beginning, that was all my child understood though, was certain behavior gets a sticker.

Please don't spank him; please talk to your doctor, and describe your son's behavior in great detail, and also if you've noticed anything triggering it (getting tired, or hungry, for example).

For us, our child's problems in school were so severe that we ended up homeschooling him through a charter school, which is a school that has a real world location, and provides all the materials for schooling for free. They may require conferences to discuss progress, and may also offer optional classes for your child. I found our charter school by searching for "charter schools" online. I found charter schools when I was researching homeschooling options.

Finally, a good web site for people dealing with ADHD is chadd.com (or net. or org.)

Hope this helps. Good luck!

Answer 8

its time for mommy to step up and be tough with her little boy and SPANK him

Answer 9

My son is 7 also and is every parents dream child. He is so polite and well behaved but after starting public school (1st grade) I've noticed changes in him. He gets bored easily and has a tendacy to throw fits when he cant get his way or talks back. Alot of how your son is acting is probably from seeing behaviors of other kids at school. My son plays with some 3rd graders here in our yard and they are wilder than what I would like for my son to be so we have asked them to stop coming over unless they can be polite and follow our rules. I would just imagine your son is growing up and starting to change. I'm afraid our sweet innocent boys we have arent going to stay that way forever. Let's hope they do and this is just a phase. The only thing you say tho is that your son also gets in trouble at school. Mine doesnt tho. He only gets into this behavior at home. I would maybe talk to his teacher and see if she can reccomend something. Or even his dr. If no one else can help, try spending more time with him and get him out of the house more and you and him go do fun things together. Good luck

Answer 10

A few sugguestion.

Most ppl don't want to hear the spanking but I would try that first. Try taking his games away for More then a Day. Ground him for a week works well. My kids hated that. LoL

As far as school is concern, find out from the teacher if he is finishing his work ahead of the class. Children who are bored in school act out because of it. Everyone becomes Stupid. So he might need a challenge there or more work at a higher level to keep him occupied.

If school is not the problem this may be something as simple as needing someone else besides mom. At his age, boy scouts or little leauge any gender activiity my be in order. Any group where he will have friends and can be a big boy. He's a big boy and sometimes they just need to feel like one.

Watch, encourage, and love is all a good parent can really do.