Help, My daughter eats like a monkey.?

Question

She uses her fingers, gets food on her face and is pretty discusting to watch and listen to at the table. She is very picky so feels the need to "deconstruct" her food and take out any offending articles. I am at my wits end. I don't even think I can take her to a resteraunt anymore. She is 10 and has always been a messy eater but it seems to have escalated the last few months. She loves to read so maybe an etiquette book would be helpful. Last night I had dinner with a few family members and we just watched her during dinner. This is a big problem. I have tried talking to her because I know she is old enough to understand but we both just got frustrated.

Answer 1

I have a six year old who did that and I would only give her one thing at a time and if she did not use a fork or spoon to eat it then I took it away. I know if sounded harsh and no I did not starve her, but it worked. Good luck.

Answer 2

Get her an etiquette teacher to teach her to use utensils.That must be really embarrassing in public and it needs to stop because ten years old is waaaaaaay too old to eat like this!or maybe you could read an etiquette book and teach her about it instead of hiring someone.

Answer 3

i'm 14 and i admit i can't eat a sandwich properly, but that is crazy for a 10 year old to make noises at the dinner table!

explain to her that she needs to stop or she will never go out on a dinner date with any gentleman!

Answer 4

First:  stop putting offending articles in her food (for crying out loud).

Second:  give her only food that she can eat with her fingers, e.g. banana, slices of apple, sandwich halves.

Third:  inntroduce her to chopsticks.  "Chopsticks can be viewed as an extension of the fingers..."

Answer 5

Why don't you have her eat separately until she can eat without ruining others meals?

And stop taking her to restaurants until she can be presentable there.

Answer 6

First, if it has escalated in the last few months, has anything changed? Mom and dad fighting, new school, new baby...anything that could in any way make her feel insecure? If so, address her emotional issues first. Otherwise, at 10 years old she should know how to behave and eat at the table. And she is much too young to be telling you what she will and will not eat! She is only a picky eater if you allow her to be. I know there are a few things that my kids honestly don't like and I don't make them eat those few things, but my rule is, "Take it or leave it". She gets hungry enough she won't be so picky. And by "she has always been a messy eater", do you mean getting food all around her mouth or do you mean eating like a cave man? She should have been taught table manners a LONG time ago. What about school? I can't imagine them letting her get away with this at school! Maybe that is why it has escalated the past few months...she is out of school for summer break so she is getting no discipline at all any more when she eats. Get her the book on etiquette, go over the part on table manners with her and then explain that you expect her to use the table manners and that if she doesn't, she will have to leave the table. If she has to miss a couple of meals, she will start eating right. I promise she will not starve herself to death! If you feel that is too harsh, give her 1...and ONLY 1 warning if she starts eating like caveman...second time she leaves the table and does not return until the next meal. Unless she is mentally ill there is no reason for a 10 year old to act like this and if you don't stop it now, this as well as other behaviors will only continue to get more and more out of control! Good luck!

Answer 7

spank your monkey!

Answer 8

You say she has always been this way...my question is why have YOU allowed her to be this way?  Why didn't you start teaching her manners when she was a toddler?  It's not her fault you can't do your job as a parent.

Answer 9

You're right, she is old enough to understand.  Did you by any chance ask her WHY she likes to eat the way she does?  Is it to gain attention?  Is it because handling eating utensils is awkward for her?  If none of these suggestions help, perhaps she should read a book about etiquette.  Maybe it would make her realize what is proper at the table.  If all else fails, let her eat alone in another room (at a table) until she can understand what is expected from her.

Answer 10

i am surprised she does not get h**l from school mates

get tough - she can be picky but not noisy and put others at discomfort

get that book on manners but also insist on some rules during dinner

no backing off

Answer 11

try talking to her and asking her if there is something wrong that makes her eat like that. try to get to the root of the problem. just try grounding her when she does that and rewarding her when she eats right.

Answer 12

yea, i think 10 is way old enough to understand how to eat proper. a skill kids learn by 3. maybe she does it for attention. because honestly, i can't figure out why a kid that old would do something that would make them stand out like that. i think i would also give her such small amounts as possible and refill her plate as needed. skip deserts til she's old enough to eat like a 10 year old.

Answer 13

take her out with her friends, maybe even tease her when she does it, although it is mean it may make her stop. My mom made me do that when i ate too fast and now im very careful when out in public.

Maybe just talk to her and ask her why she has to do it.

Hope i helped

Answer 14

She is 10!?!?! as in 10 years old?

Proper eating should have been tought to her years ago. lol.

( but who am i to judge?) An ettiquette book is a great idea. Also, maybe etiquette classes as well?

Answer 15

shes too old to act like that, maybe theres something else going on, perhaps something psychological. Have you talked to her doc about it? My mom used to tell me that if I didn't mind my table manners I would never be able to go out on a date. you could also look into "charm" school. They still exist. I think this is a problem you both need to work on together. I agree that an age appropriate book on ettiquette and manners would help, perhaps something written by a real princess

Answer 16

Okay ew. People at my school are like this and no one sits with them at lunch, they're still friends but they don't sit together for that reason.

say, "enternamehere, chew with your mouth closed, you're eating habits are disgusting. No one will want to be with a girl who eats like a cow. Does anybody at school sit with you?"

Answer 17

Nini knows her stuff, that's what I did if my kids or daycare kids did not use utensils, or threw food on the floor. I would take their plate & give it back only when they listened.

Answer 18

Manner are something that is taught, kids are not born with them. Why on earth are you just starting to worry now at 10. It is your fault not hers. Be kind and start working with her.

Answer 19

There is no need for a child of 10 to be acting this way. You need to do more than just talk to her. Teach her a better way to pick out the food she doesn't wish to eat, or better yet find a way to get to to TRY new foods..like a rewards system of sorts. She could get an extra privilege for trying something new, and lose one for purposely eating like a slob.