Help, my daughter is still depressed. What can I do?

Question

My daughter will be 15y in July and for about 3y she has shown more signs of depression, low self essteem, and gaining alot of weight. She is taking meds. for this and counseling, and now drs. and teachers have her homeschooled. I want to help her out of this. She's says I make it worse when I ask question and want to spend time with her. Little back ground, I divorsed her stepdad a little over three years ago. He beat me and she did see some of it and heard alot more. My fault I know. I tell her I'm sorry and try to make her life better now. She can't forget the past. The stepdad never hit her or anything. Seven mos after I got pregent (while on depo) unplanned of course. My son is 18mos. old now and I live with his father. My daughter & him seem to get along but then again she hates everyone. She adores her brother and ignores everyone else. She has been through alot and I do blame myself, but for how long will she hold the past against me. I love her so much and want happiness 4 her

Answer 1

God loves you and your daughter..i don't know where your from, but Calvary Chapels are great churches and they are all over the place you can just go to calvarychapel.com or google it and look for a location, and maybe talk to somebody there..and have them pray with you..don't be scared to..please..

as often as you can, let your daughter know that she is beautiful, in your sight, and in the sight of the one who created her..

look her in the eye when you say it..she might just blow it off, but she might just take it to heart..hope this helps..

Answer 2

You are bringing too many different men in her life, she is bitter at you for this. Let's hope you can trust them around your daughter, I sure wouldn't. Her life has no stability, she doesn't know if your gonna find yet another man. Why would she get attached?, she knows she can love the baby, he can't hurt her or leave her. Try and make it work with this guy if he is a good man, get married, set an example, and just be there for her, and wait for her to come to you, don't pressure her to talk. Where is her real dad? would her getting to know him help?. Daughters are harder on their mothers than sons are. She wants you to acknowledge the past, because her scars are still new to her. She must not feel her feelings are being validated if she wont let go of the past. That what kids do if our mothers really don't own up or truly express are wrong doing. Just remember your not the victim, the pity needs to be for her, she is the child. Let her express the her pain and get it out, it takes time. If you give her stability, she will learn to trust you again. And be careful with all those meds, they are not good for kids.

Answer 3

Honestly, I know you want to spend time with her, but I've been in her shoes, and having someone pestering me to spend time with them when I can barely be myself often times just irritates me. Remember, right now she's at a really unstable point in her life, so depression is pretty likely. I really don't think that she's too traumatized from your divorce, but more likely that she doesn't know how to handle the situation.  Just try giving her some space and don't ask her too many questions about her personal life. But you should instead try to get her talking more, such as starting a conversation on your own and eventually getting her to join in. If it's just a chemical imbalance, then it usually goes away for a while when she's enjoying herself. Also, try doing things she likes with her instead of getting her to do things you like, at least for a while until she warms up to you. There's one thing for sure though, she doesn't hate you and after she gets older, hopefully she'll grow out of her depression and begin to bloom. :)

Answer 4

are u kidding me!! i have been thru way more stuff, ive had a meth and heroine addict mother and i saw her die rite in front of me, her boyfriend molested me and raped me, i had to walk to school every single morning when i was 5 years old almost getting hit my a car, i got taken away by the cops from my mothers arms to my dads house in LA, now i live here and my sister is a hardcore drug addict at only age 13......... ur daughter has it lucky.

Answer 5

Try a hobby she is interested in, so she isn't coming home from school everyday with nothing to do but think. I would have loved horseback riding or swimming, but every kids is different. Have something for her to look forward to and it could help her self esteem.

Answer 6

Her hormones are out of wack and she will probably hate you till she moves out of the house.  This is really normal.  Even with what she has been through most teenage girls go through this and have never went through what she has.  She is learning herself and manipulation at the same time.  She knows which buttons to push and sometimes it is easier to just back off.  Unfortunately at that age it is not an option.  You need to be aware of her for her own safety.  My guess would be the weight gain has probably made her feel like c**p.  She is taking it out on everybody else and if you can get her active without her thinking you think she is fat then that would be the best possible thing.  If she thinks you think she is fat she will just rebel about the excercise but most studies prove that movement can get you out of a funk quicker than anything.  That and laughing.  Take her to a Comedy club and make it special.  Get her out of the house especially if she is home schooled.  You can get cooped up and start feeling really bad within a week or so.

Answer 7

I recommend that the two of you see a counselor, if her depression is this bad, and her medicine does'nt seem to help, you have to do something! Don't let her slip into that world!

Find a way ,  talk to other parents with similar situations, go to her pediatrician, maybe they can recommend something more.

Please do something!

Answer 8

JUST LEAVE HER ALONE! I know this hurts, but if she wants a relationship with you, she come to you.