Help 6year old constantly pee's clothes through out day?

Question

okay so i moved in with my friend and her 2 kids, the oldest is 6 and for the past year or so she's been peeing in her clothes like 5 times a day, at first her mom was really nice about it, like she bought her a ton of matching pants so when she wet at school the other kid's didnt make fun of her as much cause they did know she had changed.

but this has been going on for too long, we tell her to go to the bathroom and she doesnt she just pee's herself, she's gotten terrible rash's from it and we took her to the doctor to see if maybe it was a health issue, but this is definatly a behavorial issue.

she didnt used to do this when she was 4, like it was the occasional bed wetting in the middle of the night but now this is just a constant thing everyday, we're embarrassed to take her places cause she always pee's herself while where out too. please help, she's gonna get kicked outta summer camp for this if she doesnt stop or try to stop soon.

Answer 1

she might be an adult bay or diaper lover let her have at it

Answer 2

try therapy. something traumatic has probably happened to her and she needs help dealing with it. that is usually the case with behavioral problems like this.

Answer 3

Go back to therapy! It's not her choice to quit going at that age. You are empowering her to carry on with this. It takes several consecutive visits to begin getting to the root of her anger. My oldest did this for a year or so after we won custody of him from his father. He hated therapy too, because it meant he would have to either own up to whats wrong and/or start behaving! We began punishments for peeing his pants in the daytime, after the therapist and doctors advised it was intentional and his way of saying he was not happy. He always wet his bed, so we let that one go, and got Goodnights until he out grew them.

He was the same as your daughter, he would not go to a bathroom when we were home or out. Then he would say 2 phrases: if we were watching him or he was close to us- he would announce " I have to pee now" as he was peeing and act like it was an accident. Or he would say nothing at all if he knew we weren't around and keep playing or whatever he was doing. We showered him with love and understanding and he ate it up. He would be sent to the corner for peeing himself after he cleaned up. We also imposed bathroom visits every 2 hours and watched him. He had to make a deposit or stay until he did. Just like a baby, which is what he wanted, but he hated the punishments. He never wet at school, so we knew it was all his idea to get us back for taking him away from his abusive father.

This went on from 6 to about 8 yrs old. I knew we were making progress when he had a couple REAL pee accidents in the car and instantly began crying, shaking,apologizing. These few times there was no bathroom around and we were pulling over for him, in heavy traffic, but he just couldn't wait. He had been holding himself and jiggling for about 10 minutes and we could see he was honestly trying. He would not hold or jiggle before, he would just let go. All parents know the "look" when your kids look at you, their eyes tear up, and they can't even speak because they know they're about to explode all over themselves. And these accidents were floods! Not like the pants wetting he used to do. It took a lot of focus to get to these times, and you'll feel like crying right along with them. We made sure these times were given as "free" and "accidents" with hugs and kisses galore. The doctors did say his bladder was too small for his age, thats why he pees at night. Small bladder when you're awake, not counting traffic jams, doesn't give you a license to pee at will! She is just after your attention. You changed houses on her and she's mad. Just like mine was mad he had to move in with us. Now he's almost 18 and doesn't remember a lot of it. Keep on her and therapy.

Answer 4

Dadof4's comments are great.  The fact that your family dynamics have changed has increased the stress and anger she may be feeling.  Although most people only go to therapy once (usually not enough), you daughter may need several visits to process her anger and fear, along with her being held accountable.

Good luck

Answer 5

Are you telling me that the 6 year old doesn't see the counselor anymore because she has decided that she doesn't want to? I think I see the problem. Make her wash out the clothes by hand - see if that helps her use the bathroom. She needs to understand that this is unacceptable behavior and it will not be tolerated.