Help! Although my 3yr old was potty trained quite awhile ago, he now refuses to tell me when he has to go!?

Question

It seems he would rather get in big trouble for wetting his pants, and he does it frequently. I know he knows because sometimes he does tell, just not usually.

Answer 1

My daughter did this a couple of times and our rule was, if she went in her pants, she would have to wear a diaper.. when she went in the toliet, she got to take it off. She hated her diaper so that worked.

Or maybe you can just try reminding him every hour or so... maybe he gets so caught up in what he is doing, he forgets..

Answer 2

Sometimes toddlers will do this when something is off balance at home or daycare.  Has there been any changes going on or something he finds stressful.

Answer 3

He just wants more of your attention and that is the only way he knows he'll get it.

Answer 4

It's called regression and is very common.  Just use positive reinforcement when he does go on the potty.  Negative reinforcement (yelling, time out, him getting in trouble) really won't accomplish much.

Pretend that you're starting over.  Use a sticker chart system for when he puts it where it needs to go.  He'll get back in the swing of things.

Edit** Basic child development,  this is one area he has control over in his life.  Even though it's coming back with negative attention he's still getting a reaction and knows this is something over which he is the boss right now.

Like I said, basic child psych and development.

Answer 5

Because he's not necessarily rebelling against authority, he could just be looking for attention, a child doesn't care what kind of attention as long as it gets some. Obviously the consequences later are not good when all the attention he gets is negative...

With giving him only positive attention and ignoring the bad behavior (wordless changing his underwear for example) you show him that you are willing to give attention, but only in a positive way. In the meantime give him some one on one, read books, do puzzles, color together. You can let him know that you know he can pee in the toilet and that that's what you would like him to see, since he's a big boy... don't do this around one of his wetting times though, maybe when you color together. If you do this the behavior will go away. If not, a visit to the Dr may be required to rule out physical causes (bladder infection for example)