Help! Frustrated with reading time!!!???

Question

My 6 year old is completely frustrating me at the moment.

She is bringing her reader home from school and although I KNOW she knows her alphabet, the sounds of letters and a few easy words she is playing dumb.

I try to be patient and drop hints but after about 15 minutes of me telling her the answer, and then asking her to repeat it, and her just staring blankly at me and PURPOSEFULLY (and yes, it is purposeful because she gives me this "what you gonna do about it" look as she says it) saying the wrong thing, I start to get extremely frustrated.

To make my point I'll give you an example - the word is CAT

Me: this says "cat". What does it say?

Her: Dog

Me: C'mon now. Listen please. "cat". C - A- T (sound out the letters with the sound they make) spells "cat". What does it say?

Her: - stares at page. Looks at me, stares at page, looks at me - "don't know".

Me: See the picture? What's that in the picture?

Her: a cat

... to be continued in added details

Answer 1

some kids just don't want to sit and do their work.try playing house or "help"her play school with her dolls.Have her try to teach you some of the stuff too.make games up not just straight work.find out what she really likes then read those books.my granddaughter(shes 7yrs) keeps a journal.give her a reward of some kind(stickers,marshmallows) for every 10mins she reads take her to the library for story hour too.let her see you read at the same time she does too.

good luck,hope this helps

Answer 2

I would make a chart and tell her she gets a star to put on it each time she finishes reading a book.  Then come up with some sort of reward for so many stars earned.  The chart should be placed on a prominent place that can remind her of her reward.  In addition, I would tell her that there was a time limit for her to do her reading to earn the star.  Tell her if you have nag her or beg her to read, then she doesn't get the star.  Make sure she knows up front that no matter what she will have to read it, it will just be up to her if she wants to earn an star for her reward.

Answer 3

I feel your frustration! I would work up a reward chart. If homework is completed each night with full participation and success you go for an ice cream after supper on Friday. If you feel your daughter is too stuck in this habit of making homework difficult, I would make the reward schedule a nightly thing. If she completes her homework with full participation and success she can have dessert, if not no dessert for her. And stick to it.

I know its bribery but it may help you get out of this frustrating situation and will teach your daughter the consequences of her actions

Good luck. Summer vacation is around the corner :)

Answer 4

try turning it into a game.  like the millionair show.  show a picture then give her 4 words to choose from.

Answer 5

Bribery.  Tell her if she does her homework well, then she can watch a tv programme or somethign that she really wants to do.

Have breaks - especially when you start feeling frustrated.  

And if all else fails, try getting someone else to do it.  It's obviously a power play, and that is a bit worrying.

Answer 6

My little boy started doing the "wrong" answer thing before he started kindergarten and it really started bothering me.  I asked him why and he said "Oh mommy, I know the answer... but I just like doing it cause it bothers you!"  I explained, as good as I could to a 5 year old, that when he started school that he could not do that because his Teacher wouldn't know if he knew it or not.  But I also let him know that "I expected" him to do his work and do it right.  Now is the time to let her know that SHE has to take responsibility if she doesn't want to do her reading.  Tell her that she has to tell her teacher that her Mommy tried to help her with her reading but she (your daughter) didn't want to do her work.  (Let Her Own Her Actions!!!!!!)  This always changes my little boys' mind and he gets back on task.  (OK 98% of the time it works the other 2% is time out or toys taken away for a week or more.)

I will not bribe him, period.  If you start bribing now you, I repeat, you will have to own that one on your own!  What I do instead is a lot of verbal praise.  The more positive thoughts that he has about his own abilities the better it is for him and his motivation.  I keep a few goodies (books, trains, etc....) put away and when he has done really good or has worked really hard on his work without me having to "push" him I will reward him, but it is not under the premise of "If you do your work I will give you _______."

              I incorporate games into reading-  

(1) I read one word, then he reads the next word, then I read the next, ect.......  

(2)  Make word cards of the words that he has in class he gets some and I get some and we quiz each other

(3)  I get him teach Me the new words that he has learned for the week-  he tells me the word and then spells it to me and I spell it right and he says good job Mommy or I spell it wrong and he corrects me.

(4) When we are in the car we make up sentences with his words from his word list and spell the assigned words.  When his Dad plays he always spells the words wrong or makes up wrong sentences which our son jumps in really fast to correct him.

(5) We even play school with him where he writes our assignments out for my hubby and I to complete. (Glad this one works right now because I know it will fade very fast, but little girls usually love this.)

(6) Plenty of imagination and positive reinforcement

I have walked away from helping him a couple of times and just told him that "our schoolwork time" is precious to me and if he is going to waste this time and not work with me- while I am there to help him -that I will not be available later for our "play-read-wind down time" and he will have to do his work all by himself.  So in the end he has to choose his actions and the results of those actions.                      (Many parents today leave this out of there daily parenting "routine” and it is leaving us with a lot of people pointing fingers and blaming others for their problems.)

And if none of these work throw your hands up in the air, fall on the floor and have a really big tantrum...........I bet that will get her attention.    I had to throw a little humor in there, LOL!

Good luck from one mom to another!!!!!!!!!  I hope that you can find something in here that will be usefull to you.

Answer 7

oh thank goodness, my son isn't the only one to do this!?  i have found that the earlier in the day that i do it, the better.  also, when i know he is not going to co-operate, i don't get stressed, but just say "okay, we won't do it now" and start putting it away - sometimes it makes him want to do it when he sees that i am not going to bother having a struggle.  other times it works is if i offer a sticker or a reward chart, or i get his older brother to join in as he likes to have an audience.  as soon as he gets silly, i stop.  i have spoken to his teacher and she said it's okay for me to stop if he is not going to co-operate.  what i do then is write the new words or sounds on a big white board and walk away.  i often find him reading it later when he is alone.  maybe write the words and sounds on paper and stick them somewhere your daughter will see them, eg around the bath, toilet, bed, etc.  she will benefit from seeing/ reading in her own time without having a struggle.

Answer 8

Ahhh, the joys of parenthood... I sympathize with you, really I do, I am a mother of three children AND a PRESCHOOL teacher.. And Yes this is very very common.. My 7 year old son does EXACTALLY  the same thing to me, he plays dumb and toys with me, which indeed gets me frustrated, there has been more than one occasion where I have just walked away from him and he didnt know what to do!!

When kids arent in the mood to do their homework, they can be very stubborn and the more you push the worse they get..

As a mum, if my son doesnt want to co-operate, then I dont bother.. Basically before I do his reader with him, I tell him that he has two chances, if he plays around and says silly things instead of the actual words then i will put the book down and write a comment to his teacher stating that he has been uncooperative.. This works, as they dont like when their teacher knows that they have not been good at home.. Another thing that always gets the kids worried is when you say "i'll be seeing your teacher tomorrow and telling her that you dont want to do your reader and maybe we should put you back in Kinder with the other children that dont want to read or learn".. Reverse psychology, always works especially if you follow through with it.. As a preschool teacher, I tackle other children who will try to challange me, but in saying that a child will play up worse for their parents than they do for their teachers..

Persistence and consistency, I'm sure you have heard that many times before, and it gets relentless I know.. But it is definately the key..

If your daughter doesnt want to co-operate with you, then dont push her, she will soon see that the quality time she has with you one on one whilst she is reading will be gone and the attention she gets whether it be positive or negative will no longer be there for her.. She will end up crawling back to you begging you to read with her..

being a parent is SOOO very hard and it is a full time job 24/7 with no over time, just all the time.. And we can only do so much, unfortuantely we are not super hero's even though our children think we are.. Our children know how to create a fine line for us and we just have to realize that we are the Boss..Not them..

Hang in there, it will get better..

Answer 9

I had one like that! Some kids just do not get phonics. It doesn't matter how smart they are, it doesn't work for them.

I would absolutely forget the phonics and try some whole word flashcards. You can make them yourself, just write out the words (lower case printed letters, nice and big) on pieces of paper. Start off with some very different words - a short one, a medium one, and a long one. Tell her what they are, get her to repeat it. Then mix them up, see if she can still do it. They don't have to be "school words", they can be something she's interested in, names of her and her friends, or something really silly :) Next day, same three cards, start off checking she can still do them then add a fourth - again try to make it an obviously different shape word to the others. But don't add other clues such as different coloured ink, she needs to be looking at the shapes in the words. Play games - when I was helping the struggling readers in my son's class I used to lay all their word cards out on the table and say "okay, you tell me which ones you know". That way they'd start off with success - even if it was only spotting their own name.

It may be a while until she can make the link between the letter sounds she knows and forming a word from them. For some kids it just is. I remember the frustration of saying "c-a-t" and my daughter looking hopefully up and saying "teapot?"

If she's still not cooperating (as in: still says she can't remember a word 2 seconds after you told her what it is), I would let her know that this is going to get her extra work, not less. Talk to her about how practicing is important and you are going to ask her teacher to give her extra lessons at break time. Not because she finds it hard, but because she needs to start trying.