Help! How do I handle my 6yr old talking to other kids about s*x?

Question

This morning only a week into the school year I got a call from the school counselor saying that over the weekend a mother had called upset that my little boy had told her some very explicit things about s*x to her little girl. When the counselor called I was appalled. I went through my house and can not figure out where my son got these ideas from. we are a very modest couple, we don't watch p**n, and anything PG-13-R are only watched after the kids go to bed. Our computer has been broke for months (I'm using a friends) and so I am without words of where my son got this information from and how I am suppose to approach him about it. I am scheduled to go talk with the counselour and principle tomorrow, but I want to find out what it is I need to do as a parent to prevent this situation from happening again. Should I be more worried? or assume he's just a very curious little boy??

So here's my question,.. What are the questions I need to ask my son to find out where he found out this information without embarrassing him?

And, since he's so curious is it exceptable to talk to him about s*x, and if so what is the exceptable what to do so with a 1st grader without telling them more than he needs to know?

PLEASE serious answers only,.. I know this can be made a big joke, but this is my oldest child and this situation is very knew to me, so please only answer if you have something intelligent to say please. Thanks.

Answer 1

Find out what he said and where he heard it from.They are sponges at this age and could have seen or heard it anywhere! I am happy that you are wanting to get involved!

My daughter's classmate had walked in on her parents in 1st grade. The parents knew it and did not discuss it with her. She went to the girls at school the next day and told them "what to do so boys like you". It was a mess! Then, to top it off, the parents said "well, that is a natural thing, it is ok for her to know about it!" I wanted to scream!

It is a normal thing, he could have heard it from his school mates!  

Answer 2

he is only six at that age you really can not embarrass him

Answer 3

Start by asking him where he heard this.  You're upset but be extra careful not to make him feel defensive.  This conversation won't be useful if he's scared to tell you the truth.  So phrase your questions in a tone where he can tell you what transpired, without being scared of repircussions.  He didn't do anything wrong you know, because you didn't tell him never to have this conversation.  And why would you?  We don't tell our 6-year old children not to talk about s*x because it's the last thing in the world they're likely to hear about.  

But it happened.  He heard this from someone else.  Kids love to be the informer of new information.  He was sharing what he knew/heard.  So have a healthy dialogue with him.  After your Q&A, reinforce that body talk is for private talks with your parents.  And his friends' questions is for private talks with their parents.

Next you'll have to straighten out what he heard.  A lot of it is probably wrong.  Tell him what he needs to know, and dismiss the rest.  What I mean is, anotomical body part names are fine to be discussed, but exactly where babies come from?  Not yet.  If where babies come from is what was discussed with the young girl, make a very vague clarification that is satisfactory to your beliefs and also satisfactory to his curiosity.  This doesn't mean you have to lie to him.  My (now 18 year old) daughter had similar questions when she was 6.  I told her, "When a man and woman are in love, and God thinks they're ready to have a baby, they have a baby."  It was vague, it satisfied her curiosity, and it was in line with our religious beliefs.  If your son says to you - Johnny said it happens this way, your response should be, "Goodness, don't you think I'd know more about babies than Johnny?"  And that should be the end of that.

What's done is done, but you'll want the counselor to be assured that you've corrected what's happened the best you can.  I can tell by your post that you feel terribly guilty about this, and are absorbing a lot of accountability for what happened.  But remember, your son is a victim too of the same thing.

Answer 4

I wouldn't panic.

When my child was young, I got a call from the school saying that she had said something very sexually explicit and the students were in an uproar.  It turned out that my child, who loved to rhyme, was chanting word that rhyme with clock, jock, sock...(so-called bad word also used to mean "rooster").

She had no idea it as a "bad word."  

From the way the story was told, you'd think she had shown the kids a triple X film.

I never did find out how the other kids knew what the word meant.  My child had no idea.

I'll bet this is a combination of some over-active imaginations on the part of the tattlers, a dumb principal, and a harmless incident blown laughably out of proportion.

Hang in there and don't assume your son did ANYTHING wrong.  Not yet.

All the best.

Answer 5

You need to find out where he got it from and exactly what was said. He had to have gotten it from somewhere. Maybe once you find out what was said in a calm voice ask him where he learn it or who told him that. Since he is talking about it now is a very acceptable time to talk to him about it!

Answer 6

Does he ride a school bus? Older kids are usually on the bus- talking about god knows what and he can hear it...

Then again he might here it at school. possibly from other students....

Amazing kids are learning about s*x SOOOO young these days...

Just ask him why he told the little girl about "s*x" "pnis" "v****a" or how ever he worded it....

then ask him how do you know this (insert name)...

"Who told you this sweet heart"

Good luck!