Help. How do I let my MIL's nickname for my baby not bug me?

Question

my husband and I called her princess when she was a newborn. Then one day his mom started calling her princess and grandma's princess. My husband called her princess after that and she said that was her name for our daughter. So we stopped calling her that rather than argue. My problem is, it bugs me every time I hear her call her princess! I cringe when I hear "hi my princess!" and yeah, my MIL bugs me in general. How can I let this princess thing not bug me anymore without talking to her about it. She's seemed to have claimed the name already. She only calls my baby that. I just don't want to cringe everytime I hear her call her that.

Answer 1

It can be really hard to keep peace in a family.  Kudos to both you and your husband for doing what's necessary to maintain it. While I agree with you that this is controlling behavior on her part, maybe your MIL is not trying to bug you, but is attempting to establish something special with her grandchild.  Is this the first grand baby per chance?  If so, to help yourself get over this, think about it this way.  You have had a fierce love for your baby probably from the moment you felt her move in you.  MIL remembers when she was the one with that unique bond and is now an "outsider" for all practical purposes.  Grandparents must learn to love the baby in much the same way that you learn to love any new comer in your life; there is not a Grandmother "switch" that can be flipped on when the new arrival comes on the scene.  For your own self, take a step back and ask yourself if your MIL's demand is harmful to your family in any way.  If the answer is "not really" just understand that you can call your baby anything that you like whenever you want to, but you are CHOOSING to refrain from calling her princess in your MIL's presence.  

Answer 2

So many people call their little daughters princess, why don't you try and think of another name to call her, maybe something more personal or unique?  Perhaps precious or sunshine, sugar, honey bunny, pumpkin, etc.   Let your mother in law have the generic nickname.

Answer 3

There are more things in life to worry about. Keep telling yourself that. And, you CAN call her princess - she is your daughter. There is nothing wrong with it. Just bite your tounge and don't say it around grandma.  Let the bigger things bother you, not these small things.

Answer 4

I don't see the big deal... call her princess and let your MIL call her princess. If it bugs you so much, everytime she calls her "Princess" just say "Yep, she's my princess."

Answer 5

its your baby not hers.  call her princess if you want to.  if she doesn't like it, she can make a new nickname or she can leave.

Answer 6

I really do not understand the problem. I can tell your MIL bugs you, but is this really a necessary argument? It will just exacerbate a situation that doesn't need it. I agree with the person who asked why everyone can't call her that. It does seem like a trivial thing when you could have much worse problems. I say don't look for trouble.

Answer 7

Well, think of it as a sweet thing that she wants her special name for your daughter. Its kinda cute, if you think about it. Maybe she wasn't creative to think of a good one herself. You and your husband should think of another nickname for your daughter. Maybe each of you could have a different one and she could grow up with a bunch of nicknames. That sounds like a sweet thing for her to have and you could keep doing it when she's older too.

Hope this helps and remember, set an example for your daughter.  

Answer 8

Oh my gosh...you sound just like me.  My MIL calls my daughter "little bit".  What the heck is that supposed to mean anyway?  Drives me crazy.  I can totally understand where you are coming from but to be honest with you I think it's our problem.  I don't think it's the nickname that annoys me as much as it is just her in general.  B/C she annoys me the nickname annoys me.  You just have to ignore it.  I'm sure this is just the first of many things that they will do that will get on our nerves.  I have found it's best just to bite my tongue then to risk hurting her feelings by saying something.  Mother in laws have a way of making us feel like we are incompetent as mothers.  I wish you the best of luck...drink a glass of wine when you know she is going to be around.  That helps me!

Answer 9

oh jeez. well, like you said, it is most likely because she bugs you in general. i am just like this with my own mom, whom i always had a strained relationship with. she calls ruby "grandma's girl," and it makes me cringe. why? i mean, it shouldn't. it should be sweet. but it really makes my skin crawl. so i totally understand. and the thing is, you can't really MAKE it stop bugging you. you can try to restructure your response though. here's what i would do (if your husband is in on it). every time you are going to see your MIL, make a bet with your husband about how many times she says "princess" and how many minutes pass before she says it the first time. whoever wins gets a backrub (or whatever -- doesn't change diapers -- whatever works for you guys) that night when you get home. if you can make it into a joke rather than an irritant, you will start to associate it with laughing instead of with your blood boiling. and over time, that will make it much easier. this kind of trick will work with ALL of her annoying habits.

edit: oh, and mandy is right, too!!!!! wine makes it much easier. ha!! so true, mandy, so true.

Answer 10

my mil bugs me too, but the whole nickname thing is a bit much, who cares who called her what first? my mil calls my daughter princess, little bit, tiny one etc.. for christ sake my kids call her mama (I'm mommy) and it used to bug me, but i pretended it didnt just to not give her the pleasure. my husband takes the baby over to her house, and she calls me to tell me "guess what? im holding your baby, your husband just came over to give her to me" im guessing she doest it to try and annoy me but all i say is " oh i know, it took some convincing and some arguing but i finally got him to go over to visit you, he took the baby to give me a break!!!  man she was furious, my husband just laughed. be grateful she loves your baby and calls her sweet names,my father doesnt know my kids names or their b-days let alone mine, he comes twice a year even though he lives 30 minutes away and when my kids realized he was their grandpa, they cried.

Answer 11

No offense but you are acting kind of immature. Your MIL was immature too for saying it was her name. Its only a nickname for heaven's sake. This sounds like kindergarten classroom drama. Don't let it cause a rift in the family, its so not worth it.

Answer 12

why can't the whole family call her princess? that seems kind of immature on all your parts. if you want to call your baby princess, go for it.

Answer 13

You just have to tell her to stop using that nickname. She hasn't a clue unless you tell her! Be polite, though.