Help ! How to deal with kissing situation ?

Question

I need some help from other actors. My husband is in a show and has to make out (not just peck) with another girl. He told me it's pretty bad just to prepare me. I don't know how I'm going to handle seeing him basically go at it with another girl.

I'm pretty upset about it. I'd just not go except I have other friends in the show & promised them I'd see it before I knew about this. To make matters worse, the rest of the cast is saying "He's enjoying that scene way too much, etc"- so I feel like I'll not only be uncomfortable but that it's going to be rubbed in my face to boot and make me feel even more embarassed.

I know it's just acting, so I want to get over it, and not take it out on anyone. But I know seeing that is going to really hurt me.

Any advice, suggestions on how I should handle this ?

I don't want to lose my cool. But I'm so afraid I'm either going to start crying or get angry. I don't want to do either. I need some tips or anything that might help !

Answer 1

#1, props your husband for giving you the heads up. i've been dating someone, they had to do a scene, we sit down to watch the scene, and he's hardcore making out and this is the first i've heard of it????? not cool. #2, if you think there is a possibility of you losing your cool...you may not want to go. i know...it totally sucks. i have a jealous streak in ME though, and i know it well enough that i may not be able to handle a situation like yours. i, personally, wouldn't go. this is two fold: you DO NOT want to get pissed at him for doing his art & you go to a performance to see a story told for you...not to get pissed at your husband...it won't even be worth if you get that worked up. but this is something you have to figure out for yourself. my best advice would be to talk to your husband, he knows you best right?, and tell him your concerns, even the part about hearing what other people say and your fear you might start crying. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF HE THINKS YOU'RE OVER REACTING!!!! if he can't empathize (hello...he's an actor..he should at least try!) with your very personal situation and give you his honest opinion that's not only supportive of you but supportive of BOTH of your relationships with each other, then i wouldn't go. get his opinion....

i would love to tell you my horrible kissing experiences but it's not the same for all actors. kissing to me is very intimate and it requires you to let your guard down a bit. but every actor approaches it differently. i have NEVER been remotely turned on by a stage kiss, no matter how "hot" it is. i always have the thought in the back of my mind (especially when i was dating someone) that this isn't 100% confortable liek it is with my lover.

if you do decide to go you have several options: 1)ask him when the scene is and leave/don't watch 2)attempt to loose yourself in the story that's being told and seperate yourself from the situation...like surgeons do when they deal with cadavers. 3)get yourself a mantra and repeat "this is not real, this is not real" over and over 4) don't forget to breathe

there is nothing wrong with you not going. it might be a bit selfish, but sometimes you're allowed to be. good luck with your decision!

Answer 2

I once had to kiss someone in a show and it was not like kissing someone i felt anything for. it is un-romantic and somtimes disgusting. in rehersal  the director is telling you how to kiss and THAT'S awkward. think of it this way: if your husband is is doing well, that means he's a good actor!

Answer 3

Well, If you trust your husband than you don't have to worry.  He probably loves you to death!!  It's just acting!! If I had a husband that was going to kiss a girl full on the I would be miffed!!  But its just a play.

Answer 4

id say your to sensative

Answer 5

You know he loves you. You know you love him. I can tell its a really difficult situation. Well, pretend you see yourself in her place. It's a show, of course he doesn't love her in real life, he loves you. I've had to go through that too, my BF was supposed to be married to a girl in a show I was in, and I was jealous. The jealousy will get over soon. Just, if you ever catch him actually kissing her in real life, get over him. He's not for you.

Answer 6

KUDOS to your mate, first of all, gads. Second, DO NOT go to see the performance.

   I assume he has been acting for awhile at least? If so, he's had dozens of opportunities to FLIRT,,,or not, with female cast members.

   Just the fact that he told you, HOPEFULLY was not him apologizing? You will be making a mistake to see the performance, even more so to question any effects, even if you don't SEE it. DON'T GO.

   I suspect if there are trust issues, they belong to you, not him.

   The cliche "It's Acting" is obviously not working for you, but HIS thoughts should not lean toward being apologetic, a notion to quit the show, or worry about you questioning him eternally about "How Was It?"

Answer 7

Oh, for the love of.......

He told you about it, right? He hasn't hidden anything, right? You have the rat of jealosy gnawing away inside you, right?

Get over yourself. The man is WORKING! If your husband was a Mechanic, would you feel jealous if he fixed someone else's car? I thought not.

Granted, smooching an actress is not relining brakes, but the concept still holds true.

Are you afraid he is going to "fall in Love" with the actress? Don't be.

I have fallen madly in love with every actress I have ever shared a scene with. Every show I do, my wife and I have a bet as to who is going to be my "show crush". She usually wins. She knows my tastes. As well she ought to. And then the show closes, as all shows do.

I go home to my wife.

Shows come and go. Kissing scenes come and go. If you do not want to witness your husband performing in a scene with another actor, you do not have to.

My wife has a saying: "It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home."

Stop freaking out about this. Just stop it. It is only a job, and your husband deserves kudos for trying to be supportive.

How are you going to handle it? Handle it, and applaud at the Bows.

Answer 8

keep in mind it's just acting and he's playing a role.  he's kissing her as the scene dictates and is in front of countless people.  

if you catch him kissing her away from the stage, then open a can o' whoopbutt

Answer 9

just remember that hes married to YOU.

you already have him honey, theres nothing to worry about.

the scene will probobly last five minutes, five minutes thats all.

you guys have the rest of your lives to make out together.

just think about it, maybe he is getting off on it, not beucase he doesnt love you, but beucase its something new to him.

why dont you try doing something exciting in the bed room that night to show him how attractive YOU are

the best way to deal with it is to just be a supportive wife, the better you deal with it, the more h**l appreciate you and love you. if you give him a hard time about something he cant control, then that wont be good. he didnt choose to make out with her its in the script

just remember, when hes up there, hes a character, not your hubby. you should be so proud of him.

tell your friends good luck and give him a big kiss to remind him that youre there waiting after words

:) youll be fine.

best of luck