Help - I'm a dwarf... and want to leave a Dwarfism organization. That's not bad, right?

Question

Hey. So after 20 years of being (rather) involved and a volunteer in a national dwarfism non-profit organization, I want to leave. I feel like the org. helped me a lot as a child/teen growing up, but I haven't been able to grow and benefit from it in the last several years. This org - like a church, is very cliquey, people are gossipy and women are competitive - thus, it has been difficult for me maintaining friendships and feel like a lot of ppl were jealous of me or my accomplishments. So I want to leave it now while making a quiet exit.

But I have a few -devoted- friends who I know will give me grief on why I'm leaving. I have told them in the past, but I don't think they ever understand my reasons (for they are like, the ones who still need the moral support and I don't). They say I should get over it like I owe the group, but I've had an easier time fitting in w/ average-tall people in church, at school and trying to move onto bigger things. I don't owe the org. anything right?

Answer 1

Well after 31 years of my life being a people pleaser, I have finally realized it's my life and I can do what I want, so my advice to you is that.  If you don't want to be there anymore, then leave.  You don't have to explain yourself to anyone and you don't "owe" the organization anything.  Just tell your friends you feel it is time to move on.

In the words of my grandmother "they don't pay your bills."

Answer 2

I do not belong to a similar group, but you asked if you owe the organization that helped you grow up in a helpful way.  Perhaps you do owe them something. A formal letter or conversation with an authority to let them know why you won't be participating any more.  I would hope that part of their mission is to encourage its members to survive in the mainstream.  Looks like they've been successful there.  To trap you to the organization would not be.  But please be mindful - the organization was there for you - when you had little to give and much to take.  You may want to contribute in set manners - either a given activity each year or money.  How wonderful that you feel confident in the mainstream - I'd like to hope this organization had a part in that.

Answer 3

If I saw you in the street, my first opinion wouldn't be "Oh, that's a short person or a dwarf".

I'd see you as an individual, which indeed you are.

Put into categories, how on earth we can encourage integration, I have no idea, but you certainly feel let down by the organisation, as is your right.

It has possibly done you a good turn, and life is all about putting back - though in your own time.

Churches have never been my style, but I too am an individual, and currently work with (and for) people with learning disabilities.

I am not always right, but nobody else is either.

We're all the same - some just appear taller.

Answer 4

it shouldn't be what other people will think it is your decision if u feel that it is right than do it don't give up your beliefs just because of what people will say

Answer 5

You need to do what makes you happy. Sure, the group has helped you in the past but it's not like you're just 'using' it. That's what it's there for, and if dropping out of the organization makes you happy then so be it. That would be the right thing to do.

Answer 6

if you want to leave, i dont see anything wrong with it. it has helped you, and now sounds like it isnt really doing anything to you now.

Answer 7

if u don't feel confident there then u have ur choice, u either leave or stay.so think and make the right decision 4 urself and not anyone else. 4 me i dont see anything bad in it.good luk.

Answer 8

You did owe the organization something, but you have more than repaid them with your decades of volunteer work. Tell your friends you are not leaving them, just moving on to a new stage in your life, and they will still be your friends. Maybe they will feel you are being judgmental of the org., but the way you describe it sounds very realistic to me. Best wishes as you move onward and upward (no pun intended).

Answer 9

No you don't owe them anything. surely that is their whole purpose for existing. If your friends are real friends they will understand and respect the way you feel. you don't have to answer to anyone in this world. And true friends understand that and anyone else can go jump.You have put in 20 years for Gods sake. You hold your head up high,you have more to be proud of than ashamed of.