Help? I'm going crazy.?

Question

I was with her for four years. We were both very in love and things somehow just went to ****. We tried everything and it just won't work. She has been very cruel lately and to keep myself from going crazy I just moved out. She lost appreciation for me and disrespected me constantly as well as her son. I got to the point that it just was not worth staying in the relationship because she was not giving me any attention and as far as s*x I was lucky if I got it once a week. I have needs too but it's like she just didn't care. I am not the type of guy to cheat on her though plenty of opertunities have come up but to me it was never worth loosing my family. Now I feel like I should have just been a scumbag and messed around because thats what she accused me of anyway. I really did love her alot and it really sucks that we could not make it and I guess I am just asking for some help on what I should do to cope with the pain for now and what are some things I should do to get my mind off her

Answer 1

Seize the opportunity to start over.

Try not to look at what happened as a loss or failure.

Understand that not everyone is mean't to be together.

Start focusing on yourself & what makes you happy.

Dwelling on what & why will only hinder what could be in your future.

Best wishes

Answer 2

At the beginning of a breakup it is always hard especially when their are children involved. It seems like from what you say, this woman was not in love with you anymore. You should NEVER let anyone disrespect you, you are worth more than that. NEVER lower your standards because of what someone else thinks. Regardless of her thinking you were cheating or not, you know deep down in your heart, you weren't and thats all that matters. It will take time to get over, but you WILL. Life does go on. Cry, feel sorry for yourself,isolate yourself etc. for only a couple of days then get up and get to moving! In order for anything in your life to change, you will have to do it! Please DO NOT do the rebound thing(it never works) give yourself some time before you get serious again. Take care of yourself, see what life has to offer you. When the time is right another girl will come along.Maybe this is a good time for you to do something you've always been interesting in doing but never did. I do feel sorry for the child though

Good Luck

Answer 3

Hi there, cheer up!

I have just picked up the pieces after a failed relationship of seven years.  Within those  7 long and may i say happy and contented years everything went flop.  They call it the seven year itch, now i know by heart what this phrase means.

To go thru it all was very painful, seems like everything has darkened, i felt rejected, lonely, wasted, cheated and what is worse is I could hardly move on.  

I have gone as far as leaving the job that I had , the place where we stayed and got rid of all things and music that reminds me of her. I erased in the real world and in my thoughts any trace of her.

I did cry day and night. tears did fall from my eyes at the slightest thought of her and our relationship.  

It is seven months now and I emerged a winner!  I was able to claim myself back, started to dream big again as I always do except when the relationship failed.  Now I'm back to my old positive self.

Cry you heart out, okay, that's fine! let out the emotion and you will soon find yourself tired of crying over somebody who no longer loves you, miss you, respect you and value you.

Tell yourself, i will wait for the next sunshine, it is not the  end of the world,if a door closes another one opens and most of all i deserve something or somebody better.  Love is everywhere, don't despair! But first of all love yourself, give yourself a break.  Everything has a purpose.  Let this be a learning lesson.

What you learned in that relationship cherish it! what went bad ,don't carry it as an excess baggage.

I came across a wise saying which said " Don't let someone be a priority in your life if you are just an option. Good relationships are balanced."

Believe me , you will go over it.

One more thing, in order to easily forget, don't dwell on the sweet memories, dissect the bad memories and you will find the answer why the relationship went wrong. maybe she wanted to dump you even before but you were so in love that you did not sense the signal.  

You will realize she was dumping you slowly but surely through the years.

Let go and move on!

Cherry