Help! I am about to make a decision that will affect my son for the rest of his life!?

Question

At my son’s most recent well child doctor appointment, his doctor did a few tests with him on ABC’s and numbers. She said that he is ready to start Kindergarten (he is currently in preschool) in August 2008 at the age of 4, going on 5 in October 2008.

My question is, should we put him in Kindergarten at the age of 4 next August 2008 or should we wait until his is 5 in August of 2009?

The reason I ask is that I have been told by several people that boys take longer to mature. If we wait just one more year, he will be that much more mature and end up doing a lot better in school. What should we do?

Answer 1

If your child is easily bullied and hurt by other children apply for 2009. If not, then apply for 2008

Answer 2

wait or are most of his friends going next year or in two years because it is nice to have friends in your grade

Answer 3

I had a similar decision to make with my own son a few months ago. We had to decide if he should skip Kindergarten and go straight to Grade 1. His reading and maths skills are at a grade 1 level and he is very socially mature. I decided to let him go to Kindergarten and my reason was that you only get one chance at being a kid and kids have a lot more fun in the earlier classes. I didn't feel it was fair that he should miss out on the experience just because he's bright. I would rather that he would shine where he is than go on a year and be just ordinary. He loves school now and he has such fun. It was the best decision for him. It makes it a bit difficult for his teacher and I as he needs extra work to keep him stimulated but he is really happy. A friend of mine let her daughter skip and she now complains that she doesn't get much time to play. Being a parent means lots of difficult decisions but I'm sure you'll make the right decision for your son.

Answer 4

Ask the principal of the school, and the kindergarten teacher.

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If you're a Harry Potter fan, note that Hermione Granger had a situation similar to your boy's.  She was nearly a year older than most of her classmates, but this didn't alienate her.  She was also the best student in her year.  Something to think about.

Answer 5

My son was also ready really early academically.  But we actually held him back til he was 6 due to social immaturity.  It was the best thing we ever did!  Now he is in kindergarten and since he knows most of what they are teaching he is able to be a helper to the other kids and that has been a huge boost to his self-confidence.

Also, I teach preschool, and this is a huge issue right now as to kindergarten readiness.  A lot of people tend to think that it all depends on academic readiness.  While that is a large part of it, social readiness is just as important.  If they are not ready socially or emotionally that's when behavior problems arise, and also the danger of the development of low self-esteem.  

And yes, it is true that girls mature faster than boys.  Most of the kindergarten teachers I have talked to on this matter suggest holding boys back a year.  I know in my son's class half the boys are already 6 years old.

Good luck!  It's a hard decision, but an important one!

Answer 6

let him go he ready do not ruing his chanses one problem is if he very mature? if he is let him go.

Answer 7

I would go to the school and talk to them, they can help you decide if he is really ready for school.  And anothe rthing to think about, your children are only that age for so long, pretty soon he will be in school all the time, you can take this last year and soend it together before he is in school all day.  But if your son will benefit from goign early, then you should send him.  Take him to the school and have them evaluate him and see what they say and make a decision from there.  Good luck!

Answer 8

He will be smarter than alot of the students, but he may feel weird as he gets older being younger than everybody else. But as they say, age is just a number...

Answer 9

You know your son better than anaybody else. Do you think he is ready for kindergarden? or do you think he should wait another year.  You need to think ahead to when he is older as well, will he have to wait till a year after his classmates to drive ect

Answer 10

At such a young age, what matters is not only if the child is academically but socially and emotionally ready as well.  I teach preschool and kindergarten and I've seen a number of children whose parents insist in placing them a year ahead.  Even the ones who were seemingly ready have been overwhelmed by the change from preschool to KG.  

Also, and not intending to disrespect your child's doctor, but... she is not an educator, thus she is not familiar with school curricula and/or practices.  I feel that ABC and number tests applied in a doctor's office are not indicative of a child's possible performance in a school as there are many other factors involved.  Evaluating giftedness in a child is not done by a doctor but by an educational psychologist who considers not only the child's academic performance, but also behavior, creativity, teachers' comments, etc.  

Finally, don't ever forget that you, as his mother, know your child better than anybody.  It seems to me that you pretty much know what is better for your child.  Don't hesitate and trust yourself.

Take care.

Answer 11

I would wait if it were my child but talk with the principal and the teacher and see what they think about it.

Answer 12

wait until he is 5...he may do well at first, but become bored quickly

Answer 13

WAIT!  You are setting your son up for a difficult road if you enroll him now.  A friend of mine did the opposite and went ahead and enrolled her son.  He struggled all year long and  ended up repeating kindergarten.  In my state, he would not be allowed to start kinder until the following year.  You also need to consider upper grades as well.  Will he be in sports?  Being the youngest can make it difficult for him to make teams, since he will likely be smaller than some of the older boys.  Don't rush it and regret it later, give him the time he needs to mature.  He will thank you for it later!

Answer 14

You should put him in school when he is ready based on his natural ability to learn not what others ay based on their own personal experiences. Maybe their kids werent able to learn as well and as young as your son. It could be a mistake to not let him go in next year. I put 3 out of 4 of my kids in kindergarden a little earlier than they had to go, but that was because they were more able to learn at a faster rate than the average child learns. If nothing else, in the future if your child were to be held back a grade for any reason ( which I'm not impying in any way that he would ) he wouldn't be allot older than the other kids which can really be hard on kids emotionally to be older than the other kids in class  at school. We all know how cruel kids can be. I would go ahead and inrole him into kindergarden next year as long as he knows all the things that he should know in order to be ready to start school. Good luck to you and your family!

Answer 15

I really would not depend on your doctor's advice. She sees him a few times a year. Talk to your child's preschool teacher. Will he be bored with another year of preschool? Will he fit in socially? Sometimes holding off another year means the difference between a year of kindergarten when a child is constantly being chastised or a year when he will get to be the star of his class.

Answer 16

If his social skills are up to it, go ahead and put him in kindergarten.  The doctor says he's ready, so if you think he will enjoy it, then let him start.  When I was a kid the school suggested letting me skip first grade.  My mother said no, but it would have been better if she had said yes.

Answer 17

i think you should put him in now and let him get a head start. i went to school when i was 4 and yes in the youngest in my class but i know way more than the rest in my class. plus boys tend to fail a grade or two so see if he does fail he will be in the right grade or be the oldest in his class. do you see what im trying to say?

Answer 18

I think your son should start in 2009, not because of the "maturity" issues you raise, but simply because of the social aspect - your son should be around the same age as his peers.  For example, he will want to start driving the same time as his friends, usually your Sophomore year of HS.  Turning 18 his Senior year, etc.

The maturity issue you raised is too subjective.  I know 25 year old guys that behave like they are 15 and I know 15 year olds that act like they are 25.  It really depends on your parenting and involvement with your child if he will grow up to be mature and responsibility, not what age he starts kindergarten.

Answer 19

Talk to his current preschool teachers and ask them if they feel still has skills to learn in this class, or if he's pretty much maxed out until he gets to the next level. If they tell you he needs more of a challenge, then kindergarten may be the way to go. If he seems bored in his class, he's ready, but if he wants to stay, that should be taken into consideration. Most of his preschool friends will be left behind him as he moves on, so he may feel alone in his new class. Also just because he is smart doesn't mean he is mature enough. My mother had the chance to test me to enter kindergarten early, but she said no, because I would be younger than everyone else in my class. Instead I was one of the oldest. I'm glad she did this because i got teased as it was because I was shy, and just a good target I guess. I can only imagine, how much worse it would have been if I was the youngest kid in my class, and the shyest, best target for teasing. Sit down and write a list of pros and cons, decide whether the pros are good enough to risk letting the cons possibly have minor to major effects on your sons development in character. Good luck, and don't make any decisions until you feel sure its what is best.

Answer 20

If your son is gifted or more advanced than the other kids It will show itself in due time in his time. If you wait and send him next year you will see. I know some gifted kids they have skipped grades to advance further but it was on their terms. I'd stick to age appropriate grade for now and let him excel on his own terms. I have 4 kids trust me, you push them too far they will back away from you.

Answer 21

Why waste one extra year in school when you could spend another year with him?  I could put my child in pre-school but I don't feel the need to when I can watch her perfectly fine at home. I know you might not be a stay at home mom but i'm just saying.

Anyways, No, i would wait till 2009 that way he is the same age as the other kid's besides he might graduate when he is 17 and be bored at home at the age of 17

Answer 22

A recent study shows that the youngest children in their school grade consistently perform worse academically whereas the oldest typically do better academically and are viewed as leaders. This definitely will not hold true for every student, but I would wait.

Good luck.

Answer 23

I really agreed with what Kerryb said above. I just have one thing to add to that. I teach preschool and in my experience no parent has been disappointed with the decision to wait another year for their child to start kindergarten BUT plenty of parents have wished they would have waited another year. It will not hurt your child to give him another year to develop and grow. He will be with children his age and this makes a huge difference.

Answer 24

I was a year older in then my peers or most of them at least and I felt comfy so I wouldnt push him too fast he has forever to grow up.

Answer 25

I would not start him. If he is in a good preschool program, why make him grow up any faster then he has to.

Answer 26

If your son ready go ahead. Here where I live K4 is not mandatory but once your child reach 5 yrs of age you have to enroll him in K5. My son never went to K4 when he was 4 and he just went to K5 at the age of five. He didn't even attended preschool but he's much better than those who attended.

Answer 27

There's no hurry to send him off to 4 year old kindergarten.  If he's enjoying preschool I say that's OK.

Kids grow up so fast.  Before you know it they're off to college.

I have to agree with the person who said boys mature later than girls.  Give him that extra time to mature and have fun.

Read an article about younger children learning ABC's and numbers before going off to kindergarten doesn't necessarily mean that they will be ahead of the other children that don't know ABC's and numbers.  It all kind of equals out in the end.

Think maturity level may play a big difference.

Best of luck with any decision you make.

Answer 28

As the aunt of a gifted child I know the issues that my sister had to deal with in deciding if they should skip their son.  They didn't and now he's doing really well in a private school with kids his own age.  Boy do mature slower than girls and when boys are in classes with children older than they are they tend not to develop as close friendships and emotional stability is as important as academic success is. Maybe even more important.

Answer 29

I say wait.  He will be more socially ready, and that is important.

Answer 30

i would wait one more year. boys usually tkae longer than girls

to mature, si i would wait one more year.

Answer 31

I would wait, but its different for everyone.  My nephew waited and he is still having trouble in the classroom.  I think its more of a personality thing, than anything.  If your son is organized for a (four year old).  Listens, and follows directions, doesn't get easily distracted then it is fine for him to go to kindergarten, if he is the opposite, doesn't matter what year he starts