Help? I am an ESL student??

Question

Can you tell me if the grammar and use of words in this letter (to lady macbeth from macbeth) is ok?

I am an esl student (english as a second language) and its for a assessment.

To my love,

I am writing to you about my recent encounter with three witches in Scotland after a battle being fought nearby. It was a very gloomy night with thunder and storms brewing around us.

They acquire a lot more knowledge than anyone I’ve ever met and amazed me with their prophecies. The Three Witches told me that I will be "Thane of Glamis!", "Thane of Cawdor!" and "King hereafter".

When I questioned them on their propositions, to my amazement, they vanished into thin air right before me.

Whilst I stood there completely stunned and trying to comprehend what had just happened, I heard footsteps approaching and messengers from the king appeared before me. They hailed me as the Thane of Cawdor to my amazement.

Now one of three prophecies has already become true, it is only a matter of time until the other true become true.

However, I am sceptical as to whether I can conjure up the strength to kill King Duncan, as it is the only way I am able to become King.

Hope you are well,

Macbeth.

Answer 1

the letter is good in general as well as your grammar and thought. keep up the good work. except this one:

turn this - Now one of three prophecies has already become true, it is only a matter of time until the other true become true.

to this

Now, one of three prophecies has already become true. It is only a matter of time until the other prophecies become true as well.

Answer 2

Pretty good. Far better than many native speakers.

comma after night

acquired

period between hereafter and quotation mark.

about their propositions

amazement (no comma afterwards)

While (in American usage; whilst is probably ok for Brit usage.)

approaching.  Messengers

(you COULD put a comma after approaching and not end the sentence as I have.)

To my  amazement, they hailed me as the

(not as good: put a comma after Cawdor.)

Comma splice. This is your worse mistake in the whole letter.

To correct, use period or semicolon: true. It (or: true; it....)

Another bad error in the last sentence. the clause beginning AS actually modifies the "I am skeptical," which doesn't make sense. The problem with the clause is that it is unclear what its antecedent is.

Possible:

However, I am skeptical that I can kill King Duncan although I must do so if I am going to become king.

Answer 3

To my love,

I am writing to you about my recent encounter with three witches in Scotland after a battle being fought nearby. It was a very gloomy night with thunderstorms brewing around us.

They acquire a lot more knowledge than anyone I’ve ever met and amazed me with their prophecies. The Three Witches told me that I will be "Thane of Glamis!", "Thane of Cawdor!", and "King hereafter."

When I questioned them on their propositions, to my amazement, they vanished into thin air right before me.

Whilst I stood there completely stunned and trying to comprehend what had just happened, I heard footsteps approaching and messengers from the king appeared before me. They hailed me as the Thane of Cawdor to my astonishment. (maybe a different word since you just used "amazement" in the last paragraph)

Now one of three prophecies has already become true, it is only a matter of time until the other two become true.

However, I am skeptical as to whether I can conjure up the strength to kill King Duncan, as it is the only way I will be able to become king.

Hope you are well,

Macbeth

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WOWWW...what is your native language?! This is really good for a native English-speaker! I wish I were this fluent with my Spanish.. wow...

Answer 4

it looks pretty good i think its ok