Help? I am falling apart here. I can't act like nothing's wrong, to be strong for my mom/brother/sister.?

Question

Well, this all started at school. I wasnt having that good of a time in school, and i had MAJOR anxiety attacks each day before going to school. I missed 103 classes last year (There are 7 classes each day. yep, alot of days missed.) but i still managed to get straight A's and keep my 3.9-- average. I faked sick more than half of the days last year, and i just told my mom this a few days ago. (My parents arent/never were married) So after my dad yelling at me for about 3 days, and then not talking to me for another 3 days, he has decided to take my mom to court and 1) sue her for everything she has [what he said to both of us] 2) try to get custody of me and 3) tell the judge about all the times i have moved [which is only 8 times in 14 years, not the 13 times he is lying about.]. He is very ornery and mean and controlling, and has called me crazy (because this is important to me, and i am willing to work hard for it, and that it has depressed me this much). He is making up all of these lies about my mom and he is going to say them to the judge. (i.e-my mom beats my siblings, which is so NOT TRUE!, and awful stuff like that.) He made me go see a counseler when really he needs to go see one. It takes alot to make my mom cry, she has overrcome alot in her life (she has Crohns Disease and has had since about my age...we have spents countless nights in the hospital. She is a single-mother of 3, but is getting married next month. I like the guy, he is nice, and perfect for her.She has gone thru a divorce where her husband just didnt care about my brother and sister [his kids]. Just alot.) But MY dad has made her bawl her eyes out like i have never seen before. It scared me. She has papers from all the times that MY dad has taken her to court, and they are thickerr than you could even believe! All the reasons are stupid too. Like 'She flipped me off, so i am going to sue her'' reasons. I have lost almost 20 pounds in a month in a half (i used to weigh 130, now i weigh about 111), and i can't sleep. I am trying to be tough for everyone because i don't want them to worry about me. Also, my dad's side of the family has a tenacy to 'dis-own' the people they are mad at, so i don't want people to hate me! HELP PLEASE! What should i do? I don't know.

Answer 1

it doesnt seem that u can do sumthing, you're just a kid!, just remember bad times will pass , meanwhile support your mother by saying what you feel about her if asked to do so by the court, the law is not blind...

you cant help if people want to hate you.... your dad's side of the family sounds like a crazy lot for not seeing the truth

kudos to you for trying to be strong for your family, you have my highest respects...

god bless you...

Answer 2

i can only help you with some problems:-

when your mum and dad go to court please make sure a social worker talks to you and asks you what really does go on at home! i am kinda going through the same thing,currently my dad has custody of me and my brother but i live with my mom so if he does win and get custody of you,you don't have to live with him! the only way that you can be moved is physically(him coming in and dragging you out) so support your mom your siblings and yourself and in the end you'll pull through...some times you will feel that all has failed but i am serious in the end everything will be ok..my life is nearly back to normal its just there's the problem of my dad wanting to see me some days and my mom wanting to see me aswel so I'm being pulled by both of them on where to stay/live...

i wish you the best of luck!

Xx.

Answer 3

u need 2 talk 2 ur mom & tell her how ur feeling. b honest & truthful. the reason u have panic attacks is because of ur father. u r so worried about all this c**p that's going on n ur life u cant focus on anything else. thats why school is so tough 4 u. u really should talk 2 a social worker. s/he will b able 2 help u when u go 2 court. tell him/her everything! tell him about ur father & how controlling he is & how mean he is 2 u & why u feel he's so mean. make an appointment 2 go c ur counselor @ school & let them know whats going on n ur life. they may b able 2 help also.

i understand what ur going thru. i 2 have a father that thinks he's always right about everything. my dad has a lot of "issues" also. he's not mean or anything but he still does sh** that pisses me off. im 42yrs. old & i stood up 2 my father 4 the 1st time n my life a month ago. although, it sounds like ur father isnt gonna listen 2 anything u have 2 say. so, u need 2 find somebody who WILL listen!!

my father has also dis-owned my sister because she married a guy that he didnt like. they havent spoken n about 20+ yrs.   but he still loves her because she's his daughter.

if u dont wamma b around ur dad, tell ur mom. & give reasons behind it. point is, u HAVE GOT 2 TALK 2 SOME1!!!  u've gotta start eating. i speak from experience when i tell u that if u dont talk 2 some1 now about all the stuff thats bothering u, ur gonna make urself so sick that u could get an ulster.  ( thats when the acid n ur stomach eats a hole n ur stomach from worrying so much ).

if u want, u can send me a personal email about this & i'll help any way i can. try 2 hang n there.