Help? I don't want to be a plain jane or a useless person! ?

Question

I am an asian living in an asia, currently studying in 11th grade.

I am average looking and short. I seem to inherit the worst genes from my parents- asthma, square face etc. My mum is prettier, more curvy and taller( including my dad) than me. Furthermore, I am the shortest in my entire family clan (maternal and paternal).

I am not really smart either, my dad always criticises me for lacking common sense and sometimes, I doubt I even have a brain. My lack of intelligence is also reflected by my grades- a string of E because I can't seem to focus in class.

I don't have an aim in my life...it's like there's no motivation to drive me anywhere. All I know is that I like fashion and I want to work in an MNC so that left me with the choice of a business course. Initially, I wanted to be a journalist or lawyer but my aunt told me that I won't be able to enter such courses due to my poor command of english. However, I can string coherent sentences, it's just that I have difficulty in expressing ideas, always talking in a roundabout way, be it written or verbal.

I am in the school's dance club but I am not one of the star performers. It's like I am a plain jane- no talents whatsoever.

Lastly, since I had switched to a new school, I can't seem to adapt to my new circle of friends because I have difficulty relating to them. All they do the entire day is gossip or talk about boyfriends( I don't have one btw bcoz I have yet to find someone that I am passionate abt) or fantasize their fairytale marriages. I would rather sit in a corner and read my storybooks. However, I try my best to be with them by partaking in their frivolous conversations.

I want to apply to US colleges but my aunt thinks I am too lousy for it because of my school grades. I am trying my best to work hard for it but it's tiring. Studying in asia is different from studying in the US! I have no time at all and the syllabus is much tougher. Even though I am in highschool, I am studying US college algrebra and chemistry. For english, I have to write essays on issues such as human rights, crime and punishment, and various world issues. Although I am chinese, I can't score well in mandarin because I speak cantonese at home( that's what I think). The sounds are different and the words are difficult. However, my parents seem to think that since I am a cantonese, mandarin would be easy for me.

I don't know what to do with my life! I prayed to God and sometimes, I ask him why did he create me this way? why did he give others brains and not me? God creates people for a purpose and I don't think I am here to waste space. I wish I am motivated like michael phelps. I wanted to enter ivy leagues but it's kind far-stretched. I have more than 120 hrs of community service and won some medals in sports and hopefully, some for dance next year.

Answer 1

Everyone has talents, you just have to find out what yours is. You are being too hard on yourself. I bet you are beautiful. If you are worried about your looks, try a new update hair cut and get a free makeup makeover somewhere at the mall and try updated clothes. As far as being smart, you sound very intelligent. Just keep doing your best, thats all we can do. And fidn some friends that you have more in common with, you will be happier.  

Answer 2

Wow, your english seems very good to me!

Right now, you don't really have to know what you're going to do with your life. I have friends going through the same exact stuff as you. And I know how you feel about not feeling special. You just need to find what makes you the most happy and work with it. If your goal is to go to an Ivy League school, then keep that as your clear goal. And if you don't get in the first time you can always transfer later. As far as your studies, I'm positive they're way harder than ours over here. You'd probably be a top student at my old high school! So, you have that on your side.

You can be motivated, that's not a talent out of your grasp. Just work hard towards something you love and genuinely want! And as far as looks go, a lot of men here love their women short! A lot of tall guys prefer tiny girls because they can hold them and they like the cuteness! So don't worry about that! There will always be people that will find you attractive.

Good luck!