Help! I have created a monster?

Question

LONG story short: Husband from different culture, doesn't believe in cry it out so we never did that. My 21 month old son has never slept through the night. He was sleeping in his own crib until we went to Russia for a month. The situation there was he slept in a twin bed with my husband. Every time he cried the mother in law came in snatched him up and walked him outside in his stroller. (doesn't believe in crying)

I have cancer and get tired very easily - when we got home from Russia between the jet lag and being exhausted my husband tried to help by sleeping on the living room floor with him so I could sleep. Bad idea.

Now he sleeps on the living room floor every night with one of us.

We tried to get him to sleep in his room, even took down the crib thinking maybe that is what's wrong. He wakes up literally 6 times a night and gets hysterical if we put him in his room. He never falls asleep on his own- has to have us holding him.

We are reinstituting our old bedtime routine, but what else can I do? We really need to get this fixed - I am having treatments and surgery and can't expect my 56 year old mother to sleep on the living room floor with him.

Please tell me the fastest, least wearing method (I really need my rest because I get so sick without it) you can think of. I'm open to crying it out now, but how do we do it at this stage?

ps, in his room he has the crib mattress on the floor but I can put a gate in the door way and his room is safe.

Answer 1

We bought our son a car bed ( a bed that looks just like a race car ) we lay with him in his bed and when he falls asleep we sneak out to our own bed. What is the reason he keeps aking up? Because I know our son is 24 months and still wakes up but he is not a good eater so he wakes up hungry or thirsty. I put a cup of water or water mixed with juice on his bed where he can find so when wakes up he helps himself. Other than that letting him cry is not such a terrible thing, it hurts us more than it hurts him. Good Luck!!!

Answer 2

When we wanted our son to sleep in his own bed, we made a big deal of going to get a bed. We bought a full-sized one and put it on the floor. He went with us. Then, we made a big deal of going to get bedding and curtains.

It took a couple of nights of laying down with him, but he got it. When he would wake up, we went in and comforted him until he went back to sleep. Gradually, he didn't wake up anymore.

Answer 3

Just let him scream. He'll get it though it might take longer than it would a six month old but it'll still work. Maybe get a toddler bed so he's not just on the floor (making it easier to get up)?

Answer 4

Well, crying it out is not very good for little babies, but your son is almost 2, so it's not really crying it out anymore.

Establish your routine. Bath, read two books, cuddle for a few minutes in his bed and tell him a story, give him a kiss goodnight, and then leave. Keep the gate up on his room. He will cry and protest, but he'll fall asleep. Possibly after a couple hours. =/

How bad is the crying? Does he make himself sick by crying so much, or is it more of a angry protest cry? Don't let him cry so much he gets sick. But he'll get tired of the angry-protest type cry and probably start playing and eventually fall asleep.

But stick to your guns. If you go in and rescue him, it's only going to lengthen his dependency.

Answer 5

Crying it out means just that. Put him in his room and shut the door, or place the gate in the doorway. It could take up to 2 hours or more for him to finally realize hey I'm not getting my way, and just give up, but DON'T give in. Children can be stubborn when it comes to wanting to get there way.  I know my 2 1/2 year old will cry for hours at a time if she doesn't get her way. Another thing you have to keep in mind though is every 10-15 minutes check in on him and put him back in bed, and be sure your husband will be able to deal with the crying as well. It won't hurt him, and if his room is safe then there is nothing more to worry about. Best of Luck

Answer 6

I agree with the others, that you can't allow this to go on, especially with you needing your rest.  He's not really a baby anymore and he needs to know that you know he CAN put himself to sleep and stay sleep in his own room.  

I really like the idea of making a big deal out of letting him help pick out a "big boy" bed.  He's at about the same age my daughter was when we made the transition (with the barrier to keep her from falling out, of course).  She had started climbing out of her crib, so I figured it was time.  Pick out two beds within your budget and let your son choose which one he wants.  Let him chose a bed set, curtains, a lamp, whatever you want to put in there.  Make him feel like a big boy, and keep telling him what a big boy he is.  Chances are, he won't be able to wait to start using his new bed.  

That said, if that does not work, you may just have to put him in the room and let him cry it out.  I know your husband does not believe it "crying it out", but at the age your son, is, it's really beyond that.  Yes, he may get hysterical the first night or two, but it's not going to hurt him.  The longer you wait, the harder this is going to be.  You are probably going to need your husband's help, so talk to him and see if you can't get him to at least give it a try.

Take care of yourself. :)