Help! I overanalyze every time I try to start a dating relationship!!?

Question

Everytime I think about starting a dating relationship with somebody (or asking them out) I always over analyze to the point where it's either one of two things: a) I'm not worth their time/they'd never say yes or b) What's even the point? (of dating) Why do I do that!?!? I just cant help myself. Is it just that I haven't found the right girl or not? I mean, I haven't been in a dating relationship in 4 years now. What in the world is my problem?

Answer 1

Just stop.

Dont over think it!!

Just do what your heart tells you..dont worry about it.

Okay so maybe you get rejected but who cares?

Thats just one person.

Just dont over think things anymore.

I hope I helped you!

Answer 2

heey, im exactly the same way but in a girls point of view lol

confidence is everything, if you dont have that, you'll never get by

when your thinking about asking someone but you tell your self no think "whats the worse that can happen, she says no?" if that doesnt help try becoming friends with them first and usually friendship grows into something more and it will be natural for you to ask her out, if its ment to be, it will find a way :)

Answer 3

i have the same problem. but sometimes you just have to take a chance.

Answer 4

Oh boy.  My first suggestion is to just relax!  No one gets everyone they want and rejection is a part of life.  I think you need to find your confidence and start telling yourself that any girl would be lucky to have you.  Then you need to believe it!

Stop digging and start taking things at face value.  Go out.  Have a good time.  Take a date and just enjoy the company and stop trying to make it into something more.  If there's a connection, GO WITH IT.  If not, what did you lose other than a little time?

Answer 5

maybe you don't feel like dating.

it also sounds like you have low self-esteem... and if you do, i'm sure girls would pick up on that.

you can get self-help for this issue online if you think it would benefit you... i've posted a link below

Answer 6

Stop yourself from over-thinking it.

Also get a friend or two to put in their opinion

That's what I do and it helps a lot :]

Answer 7

You analyze it because the outcome is important to you.

1) They won't say yes - I don't want to be rejected

2) I'm not worth their time - I don't want to be rejected

3) What's the point of dating - I don't get much out of it? Or it will just end anyway?

The point of dating is simply to get to know someone else and hopefully have fun. That's it. There's nothing else going on. It's not a contest to see how long you can last or whether it will turn into true love or will you have 500 babies. It's simply to spend time with another human being.

So your focus should be on the experience. Am I having a good time? Is she/he having a good time? If not, how can we make this evening better? Your focus should not be on whether the person likes you or not. That's not going to happen in one date. All you can do is try to make it an interesting evening for both of you.

So it's not even a "dating relationship". It's not a relationship, period. It's just going out on a date. The relationship might happen - later, after several dates. Don't worry about that. Focus on the party that's happening now, with the two of you as the stars of the evening. :D

Answer 8

Its normal... i have that all the time, you just got to build up some courage, man.

The next problem you'll have will be overanalysing the situations while your in a relationship.

Just calm down and think positive...well neutral.... just go for it.

i always just kinda tell myself to stop thinking too much about things.

anyway hope it works out for u man.

l8rs

Answer 9

I have a question for you...how old are you? When talking about dating it is important to know your age to get an idea of what dating level you are on. Specially if you are asking if something is wrong with you. Just saying...edit and add your age...you might get better answers...=]

Answer 10

Four years is a long time.  Sometimes, people who over analyze a relationship are hypercritical, and are  engaging in a 'reject before they get rejected' mentality.  Do you have a bigger than normal fear of rejection?

You certainly are investing other people with a lot of power.  I think a counselor could help define things here.  If you don't want to go that route, then my advice is to start slow and small.  Just ask someone to have a drink.  One drink, after work.  Say you have another appointment and you've got to run, whatever.  Tell yourself you will engage in fifteen minutes of non judgmental chit chat.  You're just touching base.  If that looks promising, try a lunch.  Concentrate on asking open ended questions of the other person.  I think the keys for you are small steps and concentrating on finding out about the other person in a sincere way, rather than obsessing about your own motivations.  Thinking about other people rather than living in your head is just like anything else; it's a habit that can be cultivated with practice and time.  

Answer 11

You're probably either afraid of commitment or you're afraid of getting hurt.

I tend to over-analyse relationships as well.  The best you can do is to just ignore it.  That's what I did in the past, and it always worked for me.

As soon as you think you may begin thinking things over too much, put on a movie or listen to music or do something, anything, to distract yourself.  

You'll drive yourself insane with that.