Help I think I am in love with my husband again.?

Question

My husband and I are attempting to resolve the issues in our marriage. He cheated. I can see that he is really trying to work things out. Well I get a voice mail from the woman that he cheated with. I confronted him about it and we listen to the voice mails together. It sounds as if she is bitter because he is not seeing her any more. He called her and told her that she knew they were not seeing each other and that he was with me and that was were he wante to be and to stop with the voice mails. She called back and now she claims to be having a baby. His mother said that he explained to her that this woman sleeps with other men as well and what makes us think that if she is pregnant it is his because he ended the relationship months ago. It is clear that my husband had an intimate affair with this woman and could possibly have fathered a child with her. We've come so far trying to work on our marriage. I asked him what happen between them and he said that he ended it. I asked if she was angry and he said that she did not like it, but it was clear that he had to make a choice and I was his choice. I had been a little stand offish most of the week and when I came home from work I found roses and a card.

We took off alone for a couple of days and really had a great time, but I am still a little scared to put my feelings out there. Help.

Answer 1

can i just say that i have been the other wman and it not a nice place some woman can doit so blasay and dnt care i met mine when my brother was murdered and he started looking out for me making sure i was ok etc i did not knw he was married he was always with me apart from two days a week when he seeing his children buthe was going back home please dont judge me!! when i foundout truth i was so sucked in by the lies he told me youknw the usual stuff until 2yrs dwn line he sent me a txt mentforher and i was so humiliated amdgutted i had never touched another man i was smitten and thought i was who he wanted i told him to go and do what he had to do but he couldnt leave me alone i have carried on for a further 4months and theother day i found another phone and msgs from hiswife yes i wanted to tear him to shreds but what place havei got and now she is txtn me to leave her family alone so god onlyknows what he saying about me iguess but i do love him dearly but the woman giving you hard time ismayb hurt but what gets me isthat she cnt care forhim that muc ifshe can be with other men?!!! god am going to be celibit!!! but even now he begging me not toleave him please email me if you want i think personally this girl on a power trip but what more can shedo? change your num and i hopethat you can trust him again but ahl let you in on something and i havent said thois before! if me and my whatever he is got together i couldnt trust him anyway so i need time out maybe your girl thinks she gain something!! please take care and i beg you dnt think of me as sl** please email me im sorry if ive upset you  

Answer 2

some people can forgive some can't, but since he is asking for forgiveness and wants to come back, its worth a try. maybe he is sincere, and walking out wouldn't be such a wise thing. betrayal is hard to get past, especially if he has fathered her child, this means this bitter woman will be in your life for a long time causing u grief.u just have to weigh the good with the bad, anyone big enough to admit wrong, and show remorse deserves another chance, unless he has done this in the past to u. seek some christian counseling.

Answer 3

If she keeps harrassing you, file for a restraining order.

Unfortunately, by staying with him and wanting to work things out with him, you had to have understood that this kind of c**p is part of the package.

If you ultimately want to be with him, you are going to have to wade through all this stuff to get to the happy ending.

If she insists that she is pregnant, then your husband has every right to a paternity test when the baby is born to prove he is not the father.

I have my doubts if the whole pregnancy thing is even true.

Now, you said that your husband made a choice, and the choice was you.

It's time for you to do the same thing. You are either with him, or your not.

He has put himself out there, at the mercy of your approval and acceptance of him even after he cheated on you.

What he did was wrong, and he is embarrassed and ashamed of what he did, and you have stayed with him.

But you have to either accept the situation as it is, stand with your man hand in hand in the face of this whole mess, or you need to move on.

So decide what you are going to do if this girl is actually pregnant.

Stand by your man, come what may?

Or waiver, decide it's too much for you to handle, and bow out and move on?

Neither decision is wrong, but it has to be made.

Answer 4

Good to hear that

Answer 5

Work together to rebuild trust.  A bond between two people may be wounded, but it is always possible to mend it.  Counsleing and believing in one another will help.  100% effort will be needed.  Go with your feelings.  Good luck.

Answer 6

All I can tell you is go with what your heart is telling you to do. Your mind can be telling you one thing, and your heart another.Do what you think is best for you. Seems like he is making an effort to show you that he loves you and he knows he made a terrible mistake. That's something your heart has to figure out.  Good Luck!

Answer 7

listen to your heart . do what it tells you , not what the common sense or people say . if he truly changed then yeah i would give it a shot . i did and so glad i dint throw such a beautiful thing we have over an affair .

Answer 8

Well Dear, i completly understand you, my husband cheated on me too, as soon as i knew about it, i decided i wanted to have some space, i moved w/ my best friend for a week bcuz i was soooo hurt and sooooo angry, i didnt wanted to see him, but while i was taking some time to my self, i realize that i missed him very much and that my love for him was so strong i couldnt see me w/ out him. I decided to give him a second chance do he can prove me that he changed, and i must admit, his making a huge effort proving me that he truly loves me and that he'd made a mistake. We have been together since then, but i sometimes fear to get hurt again, but then again, he comforts me and i can feel in my heart his love..just go w/ what ur heart needs and wants.  take ur time and dont be affraid of losing him, he should be very affraid of losing u! my advice for u is: dont show him u trust him 100%, bucz u obviously dont, and really really take some time ALONE to think about it, if u see that he is changing to the same loving  and honest husband he used to be, then stop living in the past and move on w/him, but if u think and u FEEL that things arent the same anymore bcuz u dont trust him and u guys feel different towards each other, then dont waist your time bcuz its not gonna work, its not gonna be the same, sad but true, or if u feel that he has not changed at all and he still acting mad suspicious then move on w/ ur life! im sure u can find a nice loving charming man out there! just follow ur heart and be happy. REMEMBER THIS IS ABOUT U NOW, NOT ABOUT U TWO, JUST ABOUT U!!! U GO FIRST!!