Help Me Please...I'm Addicted...

Question

This is going to sound crazy, but I literally feel like I am addicted to my ex b/f. Currently he is my ex, I broke it off because he does not respect me or my time. He constantly breaks promises to me and treats me as if I'm 2nd class in life, as if I come last w/everything. It's a horrible feeling to feel unsure if you're liked or wanted, and to feel as if you don't hold value. Well, we've been apart for 2days now and I am phening. I can not take it. I feel like I can hardly make it without him. I ache for him. I miss everything about him, and the comfort of having him. I miss the smell of him and just having him near. I can hardly concentrate I miss him so much and I'm so tempted to call him, though I know he doesn't treat me right. I feel like an addict, I am craving him. No one else, JUST HIM. I can't explain the hold he has over me mentally. It makes me feel in love with him, but it isn't a healthy love because he emotionally abuses me. My heart and logic are torn. What do I do to overcome this addiction I have with him. My heart races, I feel shaky, and my mind spins just wanting to call him so bad!! Help me please before I give in... :( Thanks. And no, I am not exaggerating any of this. The sad part of all of this is that I'm 24yrsold.... :-/ HELP!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

all that stuff you said.......send it to him

Answer 2

first of all OMG second call him next time u see each other ask 4 some respect

hope it helps :)

Answer 3

Lots of things were wonderful in your relationship.

Lots of things were unacceptable.

When you miss the good parts you forget about the bad parts.

Don't let your consciousness play tricks with you: always keep both sides in mind.

The way you describe your former relationship creates this image in my mind:

It looks like a delicious fruit salad with chunks of nice fresh fruit, garnished

with slices of t**d. I would never eat from a fruit salad like that.

Answer 4

You probably are addicted to the feelings he creates in you.  This could be related to childhood issues or not.  A counselor would help you to sort out your feelings and become stronger.

I have been in addictive type relationships and I found that I had to make a clean break in order to be free.  Right now the two of you are engaged in a "dance".  He takes one type of dance step and you then take the next step in relationship to the one he makes.  You both know the steps to this dance.  If one person changes the "dance", it will cause the relationship to change.  Right now he can manipulate you and he knows it.  You know it as well.  The question is do you want to be free badly enough to stop?

In order to stop this unhealthy "dance", you need to change your way of thinking.  You have the power to actually change the way you feel both about him and about yourself.  Do you deserve to be loved and treated with respect and love?  I think so, do you?  Make a list of all the characteristics you want in your ideal man.  How do you want him to treat you?  Get that picture firmly in your mind and start telling yourself this is the type of man you will love and will love you.  This takes time but it will work.  Start going places where your ex bf will not be and find a hobby you enjoy.  Look for healthy ways to spend your time and start preparing yourself to be the type of woman your ideal man will fall in love with.  Decide to be free of this bad relationship.  

If you want to call him, do something else you enjoy.  Do your best to think about something besides him.  You have to stop allowing your mind to obsess on this man.  If he calls you, do not answer the phone.

There is a verse in the Bible that says something to the effect of: Resist the devil and he will flee.  I think this is true in most areas of our lives.  The more we choose to resist and say no, the better we become at resisting.  

One other thought, when you are with your friends, do not talk about this guy.  That is just another way of keeping him on your mind and obsessing about him.  Talk to your friends about other things in life and about their lives.  You can be free of this addiction but it will take work and determination.  The good news is, it gets easier and soon you will start looking for a man who treats you well because that is who you want. :)

Answer 5

It happens to the best of us. im sorry

Answer 6

My dear Jasmine....

Well...honey...I can sympathize with you...in a certain aspect, due to the fact, that you're still soooo very young...On the "other aspect", you should really ...VALUE YOURSELF ! THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO APPRECIATE A DOORMAT ARE PEOPLE WITH DIRTY SHOES !!!

Jasmine, you need to build up your self-esteem, your self-respect and your self-WORTH !!! Never, ever stay with a person, who doesn't respect you, baby. You seem to be a nice person & you definately deserve MUCH BETTER than this !!!

Just go out with friends & in due time, you'll meet someone who is WORTHY of you !!!! I wish you all the best for the future ! Greetings from Germany with lots of love & care...Annette****

Answer 7

the best advice is to   get  a  break for a while and see other options out there. Because  it seems  like this guy has you on a tight rope ,and  he sounds to me like he isn't even worth it ,thought you are really in love ,but like they say if you really love       some one you have to let them go, just hang in there even though it feels like forever.

Answer 8

If he is treating you badly emotionally, be careful.    Sounds like you are totally in awe of him.    Was he your first serious relationship?  If so, that could be one reason you cannot find your way clear to ending it.    You might need a long break, you could benefit from counseling.

If you are on and off again and again, something obviously isn't right in the relationship and you should think of that as a warning.     Get professional help, go for couples counseling.   If all that fails, move on. It might just not be the "right" relationship for either of you.