Help Me Please I'm Losing My Wife?

Question

My wife went a way for her job, which required her to travel for 11mo. So while she was gone I was hanging out with my friends in the army in Florida, we went clubbing on weekends, and sometimes strip club. I didn’t tell her about it but she just got back last Fri and females who are just friends started calling my cell and my boys are coming over and one of them told her about the things we were doing while she was gone. She is mad now saying I’m sorry piece of Shiite and that I refused to take care of our 2yr old child while she was a way so her mom had to care for our child. She also, says she was loyal to me when I was gone for 15mo and took care of kid. Now she moved out got a home put it under her mom so I have no claim bought the new Lexus and put it under her mom so I have no claim and changed her bank account. I didn’t mean to hurt her I wanted to live like single while she was a way I haven’t slept with no woman just wanted to have fun. Now I lost my wife and kid and even though she started making 125K since last August I can’t claim any of it since everything is under her moms name. Any Advise. Married 3yrs she is 24 I'm 33.

Answer 1

Sounds like you were bored while she was away, if you were that bored and had that much time on your hands, then you should have re-directed that extra boredom and spare time into doing extra things around the house and spending time with your 2 year old. Sure she;s hurt and has every right to be, you acted selfishly and rather than do things the right way, you acted upon your own foolish whims, and now you are paying the consequences. Maybe if you were honest with her and told her that you were going to be going out to clubs your wife wouldn't have taken off on you, what added insult to the injury is that she had to hear it from  friends and not you, had you been upfront with her , she might have forgave you, and one question, why don't you have a job? Do you work? Your a man, and you should be gainfully employed, now your sugar mama is gone and now you are going to have to get out there and find a job and support yourself, oh yeah, and probably going to have to pay child support and have to deal with family court issues. You had it made, then you blew it big time.

Sounds like, your more worried about her 125K a year  and what your not going to be getting from her anymore,then you are about your relationship with your wife, not trying to be mean here dude, but you really had a good thing going and lost it because you wanted to act like a single man rather than a married responsible husband and father. If I were you i would first think about getting a steady job and saving money, stop being co-dependent and maybe if you show your wife that you are being sincere and trying to do the right thing, she might come back after time,good luck.

Answer 2

She must have known what you are deep down because she was smart enough to put everything under her mother's name.

You got what you deserved.Deal with it.

Answer 3

First of all, if you are in a marriage you should NEVER do these kind of things! Never ever! how would you feel if your wife went to a strip club and look at guys's p***s's?! YOU ARE A HORRIBLE HUSBAND!!! But to save this relationship and baby, go to a marriage consultant give it all you got. Give up some friends if you have to. If you win her back, it willl be worth it.

Answer 4

YOUR PATHETIC.

I cannot believe.. you wanted to live a single life.. YOU WERE MARRIED. God people get married for absolutely no reason these days.. im glad your wife left you. You dont deserve her or her money.

Answer 5

Be happy of that he left you. You did not do anything bad, this is just an false allegation to break up with you. She wanted you be her slave, without any freedom. Even if you are a married man, you have the right to go out with friends time to time. She hated you b/c you had some few hours good time.  

Answer 6

your actions of wanting to "live like single"  gave her the impression that you WANTED to be single.  So now you want to take whats she has earned and it ticks you off that you cant touch it because she put it under her moms name?  If your not divorced yet you might try talking to her and see if theres any of the relationship to salvage or if she even wants to try at this point.  Go to a marriage counselor.

bad move on your part to do this, why couldn't you have gone out once in a while with the guys here and there and taken care of your responsibilities at home by taking care of your child?

Answer 7

Im sorry but 2 things ring alarm bells....

Ist - you just wanted to live like a single while she was away? - you are a father and a husband and that is your ultimate priority no matter the distance between you. Once you said your vows and became a father, you were no longer a single man. You can still go out and have fun with your mates but that isn't her issue. Her issue was the child was not coming first in your life whilst she was away. Your child could have been seriously hurt or become ill whilst not in your care and there was a possibility you would not be able to get to him/her to take proper care of him/her as you could have been intoxicated/under influence of drugs at the time. Also, you failed to tell your wife everything whilst she was gone therefore she lost complete trust in you - she would be thinking what else is he not telling me etc....

2nd - You say you are 'losing' your wife yet you have made the comment of not being able to claim any of her wage/house/car? What a complete scumbag you must be to already be thinking about the money and how much you can get... and there hasn't even been any official talk of a divorce?!! thank goodness she left when she did.....

Good luck to you but even more so to your wife - sounds like you are a controlling wanker and will do all you can to put the money in your own back pocket with no regard to the consequences of these actions on your childs life

Answer 8

You need to grow up!!!  Oh and how does single life feel now???

Answer 9

you wanted to live a singel mans life when you weren't singel?

kinda answers its self. when you get married you make a commitment and when you love somone you honour that comitment. and you refuse to loook after your kid.. what kinda father are you? you can''t just drop people at the drop of a hat.. sometimes there are more people to think about that yourself.

maybe you should think about owning up telling her exactly what you have do0ne and why, but first i think you should take a look at teh bigger pictuer nad see whta you really want! a singels man life or a husband who loves his wife life...  

Answer 10

Sounds like she should leave you. Even if you didn't sleep with another woman going to a strip club is just as bad. I would leave my husband if he went to one and he knows that. And you are 33 being taken care of by a 24 year old woman working her butt off and you won't take care of the baby? You have no right to claim the stuff she worked hard for. It seems like you have done nothing except live you married life as if you were single.

You never even mentioned whether or not you love her. Your only concern is finances. You are disgusting and she should leave you.

Answer 11

You are 33 years old and wanted to live like you were single? You should have thought about that BEFORE you did that! Forget hanging with your boys. You couldnt be man enough to take care of your OWN child? Whatever. Your wife is more mature than you are. You deserve that. Why does she want to be with a man that cant even take care of his own child?

Answer 12

okay - so you didn't mean to hurt her, you just wanted to be selfish and do whatever you wanted while you were away.  now she's being selfish (in your eyes) by dropping you and taking care of herself.  

on top of this, you've made it clear that you're more worried about what's in her wallet and who's in your pants, rather than your marriage and family.    

what the h**l do you need help with?  why now, all of the sudden, do you think you need help?  what, it doesn't get up anymore or something?  i mean, you weren't ever really concerned about your wife, were you?  just her pocket, right?  

dunno what to tell ya - you made your bed like a big boy - now lay in it.

nighty-night!

Answer 13

So you are a 33yr old man wanted to live single life while your wife was working her butt off and you weren't even taking care of your child while she took care of your child for 15mo while you were in Iraq. She should leave your sorry behind.

Answer 14

Your were truly careless when living your single life, to the point females are now calling your cell phone and your so called boys betrayed you by telling your wife. This is a case of "choices and consequences" to mean, there are always consequences with the choices and decisions you make in your life. Let this be a lesson to you. Now, all you can do is come clean with your wife, ask if she is willing to attend therapy. What you did was lose the trust and respect your wife had for you. She finds you now to be irresponsible and unworthy of trust. You need to do all you can to reverse the way she sees you and it might help if you prayed a lot. But, I will add, any spouse man or woman who takes a job for a length of 15 months is creating distance and this is never good for any marriage. She in part, she is partly to blame. Does not make of you did right. What it does mean is that the marriage already was in trouble before any of this ever occurred. Marriage should always be the number one priority over anything, if it isn't a couple runs a high risk of losing the commitment that it should have. You and your wife need to re-evalute how each of you contributed to the breakdown of this marriage. I wish you both well and good luck to you!

Answer 15

Looks good on you. Have fun with your new REAL single life. Ha.  

Answer 16

You wouldn't take care of your own kid and her mom had to? Wtf is up with that? And I'm assuming that 15 months you were talking about was a deployment...so I have to ask you this. If while you had been gone she had dumped your kid off with a relative and then had gone and lived the "single life" just how long would you have stayed together? I bet you would have been one of those guys talking about what a piece of c**p your wife is.

So surprise surpise I have no sympathy for you. You got what you deserved. And sounds like your wife and kid are better off without you.

Answer 17

There in lays your problem; You're married, with children, but still desire the single man's life.  You have to choose; marriage, which means giving up some frivolous behavior, or single.  You can't have it both ways.

Answer 18

Well it's obvious who is the grown up in this relationship.  Maybe when you get over you childish attitude you will be able to have adult relationships with someone.  Now that you have blown your chance to be with a smart successful young lady, you might as we go out with your buddies and cry on the breast of one of the strippers you have got to know so well.  You deserve what you got.