Help Me Please!!! I don't know what to do!!!?

Question

'm a 20 year old college student, who has had a very painful past. (In short, I was abused, raped, I've attempted suicide a few times and I cut) I have a really hard time trusting people in the past (friends, family, mental health professionals etc.) but last year, for the first time, I met someone who I felt I could trust. She was a teacher in one of my courses. She helped me a lot, and offered to listen if I needed someone to talk to. At the moment, she's no longer my teacher, but I still really want to take her up on that offer to talk. We talk a little in the hallways at school, and via e-mail about random things, but I'd like to talk to her the way I did last year (when she offered to listen if I needed someone). I just don't know how to approach her about it, is it weird/wrong/awkward for me to re-bring this up now? I've tried little things to try to get her to initiate a "non-random" conversation but they haven't worked. I really feel like talking to her is the best thing for me, but I just don't know how to do it... please someone help... I'm not doing well right now, and really need to talk to her... I just don't know what to do...

(By the Way, I am seeing both a counsellor and a psychiatrist for professional help, however it is not that I am seeking from my teacher)

Answer 1

Maybe you can email her that you are having some problems and need someone to talk to, if she could recommend someone and hopefully she'll volunteer. Feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to.

Answer 2

woww i kindsa have the same problem-

if u ever need someone to talk to -

myspace.com/063045pn

Answer 3

read the book, The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.  The reason why going to seek professional help isn't helping is that someone who doesn't understand you can't help you in an hour a week or an hour a month.  Please read this book, you don't have to agree with it, but read it all the way everyday, and it will help you.  This book has changed me a lot.  Just read it please, and you won't regret it.  

Answer 4

It is good that you see a psychiatrist and counselor - keep up the good work.

I have difficulty trusting - and when I find someone who I feel comfortable/safe with - they are like a gem to me.

I don't know if your teacher has to maintain professional boundaries - but if I were you - I would ask to talk with her in her office (like via an email) and then follow up and meet with her.  Explain that she helps you, etc.  She may agree to meet and talk with you on a regular basis.

  I try to be careful not to burn the person out where they don't want to talk as much with me

Good luck!

Answer 5

Good question for your phy or counselor don't you think?

Otherwise, catch her alone and just ask her, " Do you remember last year when we talked?  It did me such a world of good and I was wondering if we could get together again at your convenience for 20 minutes or so."

Answer 6

The reason that she has not responded to your efforts to initiate more of a conversation is that she does not choose to do so. It is another one of those realities that from time to time are hard to accept, but that is it. Try getting into activities where you can meet more people and among them find another listening friend.

Answer 7

tell her exactly what you have said here,   that she has really been of help to you and is she available, emphasize how you really felt trusting to her and  friendly, and you would like to carry on conversations with her,   even e-mail conversations,   but be to the point, not blunt or forward, but tell her what you experienced with her and how you found it very helpful,     good luck, hope all works for you    

Answer 8

It may seem awkward for her since

you were her student.

Sometimes people say things

just to make other people

feel better..

Answer 9

I think that you shouldn't be ashamed to ask her. She'll understand if you really like her this much. If you want to, don't hold back, go for it! That's awesome that you found a person you trust and a teacher is a great person to talk to about problems. Go up to her and say that you'd feel better to talk to her, try and set aside some time after classes, etc.  

Answer 10

I would suggest you schedule time to speak to her privately, not in the hall, about your desire to begin talking to her again. If she was a safe person for you, it is important that you have those people. Be prepared that she might not feel it is appropriate, which is her right too. If she says no, ask her opinion on who she would suggest you turn to for additional help.

I am so sorry you've experienced the trauma you endured. You're a smart woman seeking help.

Answer 11

I was in a similar situation to yours, and I had a college professor who I could talk to about anything, even though I only had her for like two classes. Just send an e- mail to her; start off with small talk, then ask her can you talk with her about something personal if she doesn't mind. To be honest she probably wants to speak with you to see how is your personal life going anyway, she probably just doesn't know how to ask.

Good Luck!!

Answer 12

just say... hey can I talk to you??

she said she offered to listen if you needed someone to talk to. I'm sure its okay with her.

Answer 13

teachers are used to this stuff feel free to ask anything

Answer 14

Remember, it is okay to reach out to people in your type of situation.  You said that you have talked to her before and she seemed like a safe haven for you.  I understand.  You can ask her "Hey, I wanted to talk to you, when would be a good time for you?"  She will tell you when and then you need to tell her how you feel.  Tell her you trust her and want to continue the talks.  Be honest with her and yourself, that is the only way you're going to get what you need.  Trust in her advice.  Also, remember to love yourself and find some self worth.  Focus on what you are good at or what you can contribute.  Grow, and understand your disease, so you can move beyond it one day.  Do not fear to reach out.  That is what you need the most, and the right people will be there to help.

Answer 15

well I'm sorry about your past I've had one of the same but with the teacher i think you should just outright ask her if you can talk to her because I mean she's a teacher she's probably used to all kinds of questions and if she listened like before I'm sure she'll do it again..

Answer 16

Tell Your Teacher How You Feel And You Need To Talk To Her And Reassure Yourself That She Wont  Tell Anyone.

Good Luck!

Answer 17

Your teacher is not licensed to provide the help you are asking . She probably knows this very well. You can be nice and thank her for the assistance she gave you, maybe write her a letter, but please don't expect her to help you any further. That's just the way it is sometimes.  

Answer 18

hm.. i know what your saying but yes it is a little weird. although, i don't think its all a bad thing since its college . if you really feel no one else can help you then yes , confront her. you never know what'll happen if you don't take risks in life.

Answer 19

it is not weird. if she was willing to talk then, she will now.

Answer 20

If she offered herself to listen then she will.  Just go and visit her during her office hours at the college and tell her you need her to listen.  She sounds like good hearted person.  Dont be afraid, she will listen.

Answer 21

You could talk to others who are having similar problems in their life and may'be even help them out a bit.

Answer 22

ive gone thru this before. i would just email her. ask to set up an appointment to talk during her office hours, tell her you need someone to talk to. she'll understand. you'll be fine. she wouldn't have offered if she didnt  mean it. but before you go you might want to talk it over with your therapist what it is you're looking for with this teacher. i had a pretty hard past myself and my motives might not always be that apparent to me without running it by my therapist first. good luck!  

Answer 23

you should not rely on someone to help you all the time. i have a friend who said if i leave her alone she will hurt herself. I left her alone so she could strengthen herself. she is fine

Answer 24

Find them!! and ask to talk. its the way forward by the sounds of things.

Just say i'm find things hard at the moment can i talk to you....

Answer 25

Just e-mail her and say that you want to talk to her about something serious.   Ask her when will she have time to talk to you in a private place, not in a busy public place.

Answer 26

just come out and ask her. she'll understand

Answer 27

jst tell her you need someone to talk to she will understand

Answer 28

I think you need to be the one who initiates the conversation you want to have.  Don't try and get your teacher to do it.  I know this is really scary, but learning to ask for the help you need is an important step toward recovery.  If she can't talk to you immediately don't be offended.  Just ask for what you need.  You deserve it. :)

I wish you the very best.

Answer 29

Just tell her can i take you up on that offer to talk to you and if she says yes just talk to her. Hope I helped. Sorry if its not good advice.

Answer 30

Just talk to her, teachers are good people