Help! Mother in law problem, How should i handle this situation?

Question

I'm 8.5 months pregnant, this would be her first grandchild, and she barely calls me, she usually only calls me when she can't get a hold of her son. But she hasn't brought anything for the grandbaby yet, I honesty don't expect anything from her and anyone anyway, i just thought it to be quite strange. And a week ago she had a few suggestions babysitters, she said she will have a girl over her house babysitting for her niece's 2 children and had suggested me to leave my newborn baby there during the week since she(the mother in law) lives 45 minutes away from us and then i could pick her up on the weekends, so I told her that was not an option, i'll find a daycare that's close to me. So she got all upset and said it was only giving me a suggestion and all she cared about was seeing her baby anyway!!!...WTF....how should i handle this woman....

Answer 1

Tell her yes, you would love for her to see YOUR baby, but you just couldnt bear to be away from her/him for a whole week. Tell her you dont like mothers who find it so easy to just drop their children off and forget them. Explain that you plan on being a great mother and therefore choose to have the baby as close to you as possible, but that she is more than welcome to come visit any time she wants so that she can be close with her grandchild. Tell her that you would even be willing to let her babysit while you go out and get your nails done or go to a movie. That way she feels like you trust her but you dont have to be gone for longer than a couple of hours.

Answer 2

kill her LOL no im just playin um she seems like a nut job.. like most MIL.

Tell her its YOUR baby not HER baby, her baby is grown up and has a baby. that she could see her grandchild on weekends and you will not be the type of mother to leave your baby with a random sitter who youve never met, bonding with the baby is crucial and you shouldnt let your MIL and a sitter take that from you.. tell the nut job to hit the road

Answer 3

Wow, she sounds scary.  Ask her if she ever thought of getting professional psychiatric help.  If she gets upset, tell her you were only giving her a suggestion.

Answer 4

I had a MIL like that too. She never contacted the kids and after me and her son divorced she hasn't talked to them since.  Its you kid, your life, don't take any of her advice cause she seems to not want the best for you and your family.  Probably just worried about her own life.

Answer 5

Just say, to her, what sort of a mum do you think i am going to be suggesting that!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Don't get into an argument with her and don't take it personally.  

When your MIL makes a suggestion that doesn't interest you, simply say "Thanks for the suggestion.  I'll think about it."  In one ear, out the other.

Answer 7

What an absurd idea. Why on earth would she think you would leave your newborn with her all week? Geeze Im a grandmother and would never suggest such an idea. Just laugh when she suggests such stupid things.

Answer 8

Your the mom, don't stress over her. Don't let her run your life. Put her in her place in a nice way. If she gets butt-hurt, oh well.

Answer 9

What an idiotic suggestion on her part, like you would leave your baby there all week, please.  Tell her thanks but no thanks, and if she is going to go all neurotic on you, just let her know that you aren't going to tolerate it and don't want the drama in your life.  End of story.

Answer 10

I can completely understand your situation.  Why?  My mother in law told me the same thing when my second child was born.  My MIL is retired and wanted to spend a lot of time with the baby- so she suggested that we bring the baby down on Sunday night and my MIL would bring her back on Friday night.  I just laughed it off and my husband worked it out with her without hurting your feelings.  

I lean on my husband when dealing with my in laws- he knows them better and can keep the peace better than I can.  Try discussing with your husband and let him take the front line.  Also, just thank her for the suggestion, but let her know that you need time to bond with this child and that cannot be done when the child is away a good portion of the week.

Good Luck!

Answer 11

Sounds like she doesnt like you, Sorry I deal with a simular issue.  My mother in law doesnt seem to like me.  After my son was born 2 years ago she has attempted to be nice.  

I found that I dont send my son to stay with family.  I feel the child is too young to be away from me for more than 2 or 3 hours tops, Though I am very protective.    My mother in law wants me to send my son to her house for a week and he cant stand to be away from me for more than an hour.  

I just make it, if she wants to see the grandchild she has to make the effort to deal with me. I know that my husband will not send his son to her. We do not approve of her lifestyle, she doesnt have time for children.

  I Think you should let her decide what she wants and do what you think is best for you and your child, and family that is willing  to coperate with you.  

She clearly shows that she doesnt want ot take care of the children, since she has an babysitter over to watch the kids.