Help! My 2 year-old is super-bossy, combative and whiny!?

Question

Is this just a stage? She's the sweetest thing half the time, but it's only if we are doing what she wants. She yells at us NO MOMMY!! She'll hit me. She stomps the floor with her feet, whines at the top of her lungs and just is a mean little thing. But, then she's cuddly and sweet other times.

I don't know how to discipline her at this age. My dad is from the old school so he says to pop her hand or butt when she's out of line. Raising my voice doesn't help at all.

What do you suggest? I feel like this is an important stage to set the rules and if it doesn't get done now, she's going to be a terror forever!

Answer 1

Wow! You just described my daughter! Your kid is testing her boundaries and trying to be a tiny adult. I let mine know that her behavior was unacceptable to me. I always said it in the same tone, authoritatively and letting her know she is not the Alpha in the house. She is really just learning to express herself, but unfortunately in ways that aren't kosher like hitting. 2 year olds don't know how to express their emotions and don't have the verbal skills to accomodate. Timeouts work wonderfully at that age because they don't want to be away from the action. They have to understand that for every behavior there is a reaction, and when you react negatively she is going to find herself in a spot she doesn't like. Eventually she will grow out of it if you react the right way. Smacking her will teach her that it's ok to hit you because you hit her. I reserve the smacks for when she is in imminent danger of huge bodily injury, like jumping into the pool or running into the street. Hang tough!

Answer 2

My daughter is almost three and has been going through this as well.  She is absolutely perfect for everyone else though ;)  She is starting to get out of this stage (I think LOL) and what I have done is try my hardest to ignore the little tantrums.  I tell her the way it's going to be (like "You're not walking the dog anymore" or whatever she screaming about) and ignore her until the tantrum stops.  It's getting better....Sometimes I give myself a timeout.  If she has me really frustrated and I'm tempted to spank her I will tell her that mommy is getting frustrated and needs to calm down.  Then I go into another room (I make sure I can hear her of COURSE, how could you not hehehee) close my eyes, count to ten and then I'm usually giggling at how silly the whole thing really is and let her carry on.  Good luck!

Answer 3

She's testing you and trying to figure out what she can get away with.  She's testing her limits.... totally normal for her age.  Most kids go through that "testing stage" several times before the age of 6.

You need to do something to let her know you are the parent and you are in charge.  Either take your dad's advice or watch the Super Nanny.  She has great ideas that seem to really work.  I bet she has a web site with tons of advise.

You are right that if you don't set up some rules now, she's going to be a terror.  

Which ever method you choose, be consistent and stick to your word.  Don't make empty threats and don't give in when she cries.  She needs to learn that what you say goes and that she can't always get her way.  Do not allow her to hit you!!!

Answer 4

I suggest do what "pop" mentioned. It'll work over time.