Help! My 8 year old is very whiney and its driving me krazy, What do I do?

Question

She throws tantrums and whines when she doesn't get her way. She picks fights with my 6 year old son. What do I do? Also she stated she loved a boy that goes to her day care.

Answer 1

give her timeouts, or just wait till shes older

Answer 2

Why are you putting up with her whining and throwing tantrums? She is 8, not 2. Take away privileges, TV, computer time, phone, etc. Tell her when she can show you some respect that she can get her things back.

Answer 3

apparently, whining DOES get her her way!! It works for her, so she continues to do it. YOU need to break the cycle. She's old enough for you to sit her down and explain to her that you will no longer give in to her whiny demands or even talk to her when she uses a whiny voice. That she MUST use a normal, big girl voice if she wants you to respond to her. And then... DON'T give in to her and DON'T answer her when she whines! As for picking fights with her younger brother... make sure that he's not taunting her into it. If she's the provoker, you'll need to discipline her. I use time out- 1 minute per year of age, so she would sit for 8 minutes and think about why she is in time-out. When the time is up, get down on her level and ask her why she was put in time-out. After she tells you, she'll need to apologise for her behavior- to you and to her brother. Kids think they're "in love" with their little friends all the time- she's probably just saying this for shock value and the reaction she gets from you. When she says it again just say "It's nice that you have a good friend at daycare" and leave it at that- no need to over-react. Good Luck to you

Answer 4

You gotta show who is boss....i know your gonna think that is cruel.......but you have to ignore her, not always give in to her demands. She will want attention, so thats thing you cant give her...........after a while she will realize the drill.

Answer 5

give her back!

Answer 6

Sounds like she has never been disciplined.  Sounds like when she was a toddler and threw a tantrum or whined she was given what she wanted As for "Loving" a boy, she's eight she doesn't know about male female love, she LIKES the boy so what?  What you do with the behavior problem is start disciplining her.  Tell her you will not respond to her when she whines and when she does so walk away from her.  If she throws a tantrum put her in time out.  As for her picking fiths with her brother, that is called sibling rivalry and is quite natural in a family with more than one child.  It will continue until they are both grown and out of the house.

Answer 7

if she is just now acting out, it may have something to do with something that is going on in her life...did she recently lose a pet or a loved one? Is there a divorce or break-up occurring? any major change in her life will have reprocussions...I have a 5 year old and twins that are almost 3...my mother passed away last september and my 5 year old has acted out a lot since then...she also did when the twins were born...the important thing to remember is that there is probably a cause to why she is behaving like this...talk to her daycare provider and see if she acts like that while she is there as well and/or if something happened there like her getting bullied by another child...as far as her saying that some boy loves her, she is 8 and at that age, she is just trying to pretend to be grown up...there should be nothing to worry about...my 5 year old talks about boys in her class that are her "boyfriends" and I just laugh it off and play along...as far as her throwing fits all the time, she may just want attention...try distracting her with something else and praise her for any good behavior...explain that bad behavior like that is not acceptable and that there will be consequences for every time she acts like that, such as no dessert at dinner, no watching her favorite show, no going outside, etc. and as far as her fighting with her little brother, that is just sibling rivalry and it will continue for many more years and probably get worse as they get older...good luck with this...hope this helps...

Answer 8

Well get a plan that keeps Your 8 year old away like sign your little 8 year old up to somthing,get a party ,make your little thing that keeps her away for a long time.

Answer 9

Restrict the tantrums and whining to a quiet part of the house with little or no trafficand nothing entertaining to do. She can act out all she wants in that spot, but only in that spot. Tantrums elsewhere should be met with the loss of privileges and/or the loss of actual items like favorite toys. Eventually she'll get the message that her bad behavior will not be tolerated and she will adjust her attitude accordingly.

Answer 10

It seems like she is looking for attention. By acting out she is getting that attention even if it is negative. Try spending some time with just her if possible it may help. At 8 she shouldn't be so whining, there might be something else bothering her.  

In the mean time if you find that she is driving you crazy with whining then put her in her room till she is done. If she comes out then put her right back and make sure she knows that she can only come out when she is done whining. It works with my 4 year old. Sometimes it takes up to 45 min before she decieded she is done and would like to rejoin the group

Answer 11

Is this something new? After all, she's 8, and you've never noticed it before?

Better start being strong, you are going to need it.

Answer 12

Time out!  Literally.  Give her a time out each and every time she crosses a line you cannot tolerate.  A good rule of thumb is 8 minutes, based on her age of 8 years.  Also, take away any toys/possessions of value, and then tell her she can earn them back when she behaves herself....consistently behaves herself.  Also, have a very short and frank talk with her.  Tell her you are the boss of the house, and she is not in charge.  What you say goes.  Period.  And then encourage her positive behavior.  For example, if she behaves well for an entire week, reward her with an inexpensive toy from a place like Dollar Tree.  Small rewards.  Find the "hook" that motivates her.  Is it a sucker?  Some candy?  Chocolate?  A new game cartridge for her video game system?  And when your two kids argue, then separate them.  Let them know that if they can't play together well, then they can't be around each other.  And reinforce that with time outs.  And as for your 8 yo girl being in love with a peer, that's quite normal.  And in a few weeks, she'll be in love with someone else.  Keep the lines of communication open with her, and encourage her to talk with you about why she loves this young man.  What are the qualities she looks for in a potential boyfriend?  Ask her how this young man treats her.  Why is she in love with him?  When she sees/hears that you are open to listening to her, the tantrums and acting out will also decrease.  Good luck.

Answer 13

tell her if she whines she has to o to her room and come bask when she can speak clearly. show her what talking normally sounds like..."mom may I please have a soda" if she can't ask for something like a actual human, send her away. as for the tantrum, same thing, take away her privledges, tv time, telephone, computer, etc, for every minuit she wants to act like a crazy person.

Answer 14

Try ignoring the tantrums. She might be having a problem with that particular day-care. Consider switching to a different one, or, even better (but maybe impossible for you), take her out of day care and spend more time with her after school.

Answer 15

I always told my daughter I could not understand whining. And when she whined I would go "What? I cannot hear you. What did you say? What?"

If this is new behavior though, there may be something more serious going on. If this is new I would try talking to her asking her if anything is bothering her.

Once when my daughter was acting up I asked her what was bothering her. Turns out her grandma told her not to tell me something and she knew it was wrong to keep it from me. It was no big deal, but it still bothered her. You never know.

Answer 16

Ignore the tantrums or put her in time out. Make sure you praise her when she is behaving. "Catch her" doing good things. That will encourage her to get attention by doing positive things. Let her entertain herself with books, puzzles, crayons, paints, etc. Have her take music lessons. Karate is a very good way to teach kids to behave.

Answer 17

this is a normal behavior at her age. she believes that the whining will get on your nerves and she will get her way.she picks fights with her little brother because she wants attention . all of these behaviors are normal for an 8 year old. unfortunately the only thing you can do about the whining is ignore it. the hitting should punished. maybe taking away a favorite toy for awhile . just remember no matter how much she whines or cries do not give in . if you do she will know that this will get her what she wants.

Answer 18

Well you could put consequences on her actions.

Like maybe a warning and then take away something that she likes for a day or two..not too harsh though since shes only eight. And for the fights..do the same.Hope this helped alittle.

-jade.

Answer 19

Throwing tantrums and whining after being told to stop, being unkind to a younger sibling - in my home , these are typical grounds for a good spanking over mom's knee.