Help! My Neighbor fancies me! What can I do?

Question

I popped out this into the Garden this morning to help the Cat fasten her Harness, as she's recently taken up an advanced tree climbing course, something about a Blue t*t Box on the top branch I believe, when I had the feeling I was being watched. Sure enough, I turns around and I see my Neighbor staring at me, wearing a see through Nightie, pouting like Bardot, and beckoning to me to follow for some Rumpy Pumpy I assumed. Well, Balls to this methinks.

"Look John," says I, "Pack it in all right?" He wasn't to be deflected however, my rebuttal simply drove him agog, as he leaped over the Hedge and started rolling around the grass in front of me, gasping, in the throes of Amour, purring like a big fat Tabby.

"Take ME!" He squealed in a Star Fish position, I backed up some and gave a fine kick where the Sun doesn't shine.

"I'm not giving up that easy," he minced, and he trumped off back to his house.

Even now, I'm eating some Ready Brek and I can see him marching up and down a makeshift Catwalk, cooing and fluttering his eye lids. Midlife Crisis, ignore him the Wife says. But I'm not so sure.

Answer 1

why dont you find someone to set him up with?

Answer 2

Kiss the cat. :)

Answer 3

More like a midlife awakening I would say. I would ignore him and if he won't give up, have your wife sort him.

Woman with mop may do much to dissuade entanglements!

Answer 4

You're just going to have to put up with a very stiff upper lip!

Answer 5

Aren't the Victorians great, popping in from time to time, while tending to their estates, to liven up Yahoo Answers, What would we do without them?  What a load of old horse droppings.

Answer 6

What a load of old bollocks, er, his AND yours.

Answer 7

Tickle his fancy.

Answer 8

I'm afraid old chap that your fine manly moustache has finally brought him out. From now you'll have be careful while trimming your bushes as he may pounce on you from behind I suggest you keep a stout stick to hand at all times to beat off the amorous rogue if he attempts to come between you and your good lady. Good luck.