Help! My girlfriend is too messy?

Question

She is excited about the prospect of me proposing to her, and the two of us moving into an apartment before get buy a place. I am also. The problem is that her apartment is very messy. She has such an anxiety about putting boxes away, that she doesn't do it. She doesn't do the dishes, vacuum the carpet or pick up at all. She is "trying" a bit, but it has been months and she gets furious when I bring it up. I have tried cleaning it with her and for her for months and I am tired of it. How do I convince her that this is crucial to me, if she'd like to live with me? We've talked about it, but it's so slow going. My apartment is tidy, and she helps a bit with the dishes when we cook at my place.There's always a reason why she can't clean, and it's like she doesn't know how. Please offer some suggestions.

Answer 1

lol my bf is the same way, and im the messy one. but that all changed.

he was arrested (long story dont judge) and i had our apartment to myself and had to clean it up myslef.

well he's been home for a while now and that whole expirience made me realize how dirty our home can get. so now i help out alot.

so i dont advice for u to get arrested but stop doing the cleaning for her and she'll see how dirty her apartment can get. if you guys sleep over each othrs apartment, i say u stop going over to hers, when she ask u y, tell her u dont feel comfortable sleeping in a dirty place.

Answer 2

get rid of  her

once the s*x thing wears off  she will just be a pia.

Answer 3

Her inability to clean indicates she has other issues you haven't discovered.  Either she is in denial which will creep up into other aspects of her life or she can not logically move from point A to B to C.  I hope it's the latter as she can be trained (I had to train myself).  Third alternative is she knows how you feel and is using this to keep you at arm's length.  Fourth alternative is a war of the wills......which somewhat goes back to #1.  Hold off on the proposal and moving in together.....I'm not sure this is a healthy relationship.  This future marriage has some wrinkles that need ironing before continuing.

Answer 4

Sorry, but chances are; she won't change.  My son's girlfriend is no housekeeper.  If it bothers him, he does it - otherwise it's pretty messy/dirty.

Answer 5

try a maid.. get the cleaning done in the whole house the first time.. then just help her keep it spotless from that point on.. if she cant do that.. get rid of her.. sorry - you live like a pig then you are a pig.. shes probably a great girl but the little things like cooking and cleaning and showering and just hygeine in general is a major part of life.. you cant keep that up what else are you lacking in??