Question:

Help! My sister's ex is making her life h**l?

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My sister is a single mum of an eight year old girl. A few years ago her husband had an affair and walked out on them. He was always a difficult man with a nasty temper and he hit her once or twice so she wasn't exactly in despair when he left. The problem now is that he is purposely making life very difficult for her and my niece. He is supposed to have my niece every other weekend and for 3 weeks during the Summer holidays but he thinks nothing of calling at the last minute to say he can't have her this weekend because he is going away with his girlfriend. Last year he only had her for one week during the holidays as he called two days before he was supposed to pick her up to say that he was in Las Vegas for two weeks! My sister had to take emergency unpaid holiday from work to look after her for those two weeks. Yet when my sister went away to Greece for a week (during the time my niece was with her father) he told her she was selfish and needed to sort out her priorities! Also, he refuses to pay a decent amount of child support. When they divorced it was agreed in writing that he would pay £250 per month for my niece, which at the time was 15% of his monthly salary. My sister's solicitor did not spot the fact that £250 had been written down as a sum of money rather than as a percentage so because of this he has never paid a penny more than £250 per month even though he now has a new job and is earning nearly twice as much as he was when they got divorced. In fact, he is so mean that if he has to have my niece for even a day more than he usually does, in return he subtracts some money from what he pays my sister! My sister can't afford a solicitor so is there anything else she can do to force her ex to pay her the 15% that was originally agreed and also to stick to the terms of his access to my niece? Thanks!

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10 ANSWERS


  1. Get your boyfriend to beat him senseless, or maybe I'll beat him senseless for you, in exchange for a snog! ;)


  2. Next time he is supposed to have the child, your sister would be wise to have some backup plan in place in case he cancels at the last minute.

    And not having any more kids would be a good idea too.  Your sister obviously has no good track record for spotting quality men.

  3. Your sister needs to get a lawyer today. Or call her old lawyer and tell them what is going on. And, her ex is using his child as a weapon. He is very mean and selfl absorded. If he was doing that to me I would also tell the lawyer that. It's too bad your sister and her child are the ones suffering. If he calls and tell her he can't see his daughter again tell him that he will not be allowed to see her again until he can commit. If he even thinks about calling his lawyer he will be making a mistake. Tell your sister to write down everything he says and does that is out of line.  

  4. He sounds like a BUM. Tell her to take him back to Court, get a restraining order on him, and take away his custody rights. He is not worth her time, or the child's. If he is constantly making up excuses than he does not really want anything to do with the child. If he has such a perfect job, than he better darn well pay her what he owes her. He will never stick to terms if she doesn't put her foot down.  

  5. Wow, why is it that women always seem to stick their noses where they don't belong?

    He has the right to see her during those periods of time, does not mean he has to see her during those times.  

    As far as the 250, ahh well guess she should have hired a better attorney.

    Guess your sister shouldn't have been so nasty to him when they were together.  You do realize that is why he has a nasty temper with her.

    *edit*

    No, I'm not sad or bitter.  I just love getting thumbs down.  Hoping ill get reported and suspended again... Oh oh and love getting on ignore lists, it tickles me.

  6. Sister has too take the role of a sing elk woman whose hubby is dead. That is the fact.,;

    From there, all; fits in. As far as the terms of the divorce, ask a judge to modify them to reflect cost of living and his lifestyle compared to hers. Explain the fact the lawyer should have asked for a percentage and you are not a lawyer. Show real hardships. Perhaps a good lawyer would know of case law where things like yours were indeed reversed by a judge.

    Also, she must deny him visitation, and he wino;t mind anyway,. She has to wipe him out of her mind except to teeth NOW to make HIS life h**l by starting charge after charge against him and reeking more and more money.

  7. Tell your sister to get a higher paying job and to not be so dependant on child support.

  8. Your sister should count her blessing if he hit her during the marriage who is to say he will never hit the little girl...  So being with your sister will keep her protected.  It sounds like this guy has made his decision to move on with his life unfortuneatley maybe even without the little girl.  

    Furthermore I don't know where you live but 15% of your gross pay if pretty close to what child support is for one child.  If she wants more money with his new job then she should get it but she has to be the one to take the action of course he is not going to volenteer to give it to her.  She needs to go to court that is all there is to it.  She does not have to have a lawyer or any money to do that she can get a court appointed lawyer and she will win her case.  If in fact $250 does not come to 15% (actuallly it is 17% by law) of his income.  However if he makes less then that she is better off to leave it alone because they will drop the amount of support paid to her.  He should NEVER have the right to take money out of that if he has the child for a extra day...

    DO NOT deny him visits that only hurts the child.  He is hurting her enough by not showing all the time.  Don't be the one to turn the child bitter on you...

  9. i dont see  your question.... Frankly speaking she should be happy with $250 a month... most single parents dont get that...

  10. CSA

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