Help! My toddler won't sleep in her big-girl bed.. or even stay in it!?

Question

My 2 yr. old is really putting up a battle at nap time and bed time. She wants to sleep in mommy and daddy's bed. She doesn't want to stay in her bed, and cries and tries to run out. We constantly put her back in. Now she's afraid of animals (nightmares?) and says there's a moose in her bed... or a bear... or one night it was a tiger! She remembers this from previous nights. Any suggestions? I know routine and repetition help.. but what about the nightmares and being scared of her bed?? Thanks so much!!

Answer 1

Children are going to make excuses now its a tiger, but later it'll be something else. One thing you could try is sitting next to your child until she falls asleep, but don't talk to her...if she talks just ignore her and read your book or stitch (or something to keep yourself distracted) if she gets out of bed you look at her and firmly say BED. Every night push that chair back a foot away from her bed until you're sitting out in the hallway. Another thing that worked for me was I brought my son a bigger bed since one night my husband and I were trying to get him to sleep in his new twin bed we got him so we laid in his bed waiting for him to follow us, but we ended up falling asleep in the twin bed and our son stayed in our bed. Shortly after we gave him his own queen size bed and hes been in it since.

You shouldn't offer a bribe or promise something in return because that could create another problem. Your child could end up expecting something in return each night in exchange for her doing as you said or could end up using it against you in other situations as she is older. You don't want her to learn this behavior...that was a mistake I made once and now I get well if I do this then I want this or fine Ill take time out. She needs to learn you love her and you're there for her, but you are the boss she does as you say then she gets a reward when she has shown respect. I know its hard, but we can't baby our children or attend to them everytime they cry because they will use it against us as they get older and they wouldnt learn how to deal with things on their own. If you sit next to her while she falls sleep and keep pushing the chair back every night then you might be able to see if shes actually having bad dreams and perhaps move the bed to a different area of the room.

Im not sure it would work, but just a thought....why dont you tell her that she needs to sleep in her own room now because in a few months the baby would be moving to her room for awhile and its her responsibility as a big sister to teach her baby brother/sister how things work or something like that cause I know it always worked with my oldest son he loves taking care of his little brother and the younger one tends to follow.

Answer 2

Does she have a night light?

My daughter is afraid of the dark (she's three) so we keep a light on all the time, plus the promise of treats if she goes to sleep: like 'a ride at the park' or 'painting' that kind of thing.

Also what helped was one of those little gates that you put across the door :) so she can still see out and see what's going on.

Tough love was how we did it (apart from the light) we just put her into bed and walked out. It was hard, very hard, listening to her little sobs but she eventually wore herself out and only wants to sleep in her bed now :)

If she's scared of her bed, try making it more friendly. Like putting her favourite bear or dolly in and saying 'Look how brave teddy/dolly is, he/she is in their big bed, but they're so lonely, don't you want to give teddy/dolly cuddles?'

Answer 3

We had this same problem...I think a lot of parents do. Let them sleep in your bed and when they fall asleep transport them over....That has to stop. We used a small water bottle (with jasmine, helps them sleep) and let our daughter spray it in her room to keep all the bad things out and the good things in. When she gets out of her bed walk her back in her room and put her back to sleep telling her everything is Ok. You have to keep doing this ...it will take a couple days of naps and night time sleeps but it will work.

Answer 4

i agree with the firts answer. let her sleep with you untill she fall's asleep, then put her in her own bed. when she wakes up in the morning let her know that she was in the bed all night, and explain that there was no mice, and no tiger's. when she see's that there was nothing wrong she will sleep in the bed.

Answer 5

Super Nanny could probably fix that.  I'm not yet a mom but I would say for a week let her sleep in your bed until she falls asleep (unless shes noisy say she has to go back to her room)

and then if shes a heavy sleeper carry her back to her bed quietly.  My mom used to do this to me when i was a toddler, I could never get to sleep.

Answer 6

Well, first off, I'd say no more cartoons before bedtime! Then, I'd go and get her a bodyguard....some little doll that you can tell her is really good at hunting the animals and making them leave little girls alone while they sleep. Make sure there isn't anything that can scare her (animal print curtains, maybe?), and send her to bed as usual!

Answer 7

You could try Emmybunn's suggestion but this is what we did and now our 2½ year old will only go to sleep in the "big bed" which is annoying especially when she insists that Mummy and daddy have to come to, whereas her brother (1½) goes into his cot no problem - hopefully she'll outgrow it soon but I'm not holding my breath as it has been going on for months