Help!! Naughty Child!!!?

Question

I have a sister who is 7 and she is totally disobediant. none of my other brother and sisters are like that. she is treated no differently.

I feel like we have tried everything with her. How can i get her to change?

We have tried spankings, time outs, taking away certain privilidges... but nothing seems to work. and we always follow through...it is sooo difficult...HELP!!

Answer 1

Sister.. you're parents should be taking care of this. Your sister is not your responsibility.

Answer 2

Sounds like you are very helpful with your little sister but when your parents are home they should be the one's giving the time-outs, taking away priviledges and especially you should not be the one to spank her. (as toddlers a swat on the butt or slap on the hand is acceptable but after 4 years old I feel hitting or spankings teaches kids to hit  when someone upsets them or when things don't go their way) Kids need a lot of attention, many kids act naughty for attention, even if it's negative attention.

That's good to be consistent with discipline but make sure when she is good to praise and reward her...you were so good today, act excited and dance around the room with her, smiles and hugs, you were so good lets ask mom if we can out for ice cream. In the morning tell her, if you're really good today, after lunch or (since school is starting) after school we'll go to the park or if you are good all week, at the end of the week she will be able to get a certain toy is has been wanting or an outfit she likes.

It's good to have structure and a routine everyday. (taking her outside everyday, running around in the fresh air and sunshine will make her less aggressive...limit snacks with sugar, fruit is best, 100% juice popsicles are a great treat)

Everyday set up a playtime, sit with her and color, draw pictures, play board games, act goofy, dance, sing songs together or play outside...always make a big deal about her artwork, what a great job she did, how much you love it and hang it on the frig or wall...our kids want us to be proud of them.

When you or your mom puts her to bed, let her pick out a book for you to read, after reading it, have a little talk about your day together...if it was a good day say, we had so much fun today! I'll bet we're going to have even more fun tomarrow!! You were so good today...a hard day, you know we don't want to make you sit on the chair/stand in the corner, we have so much fun when you're good, so if you're a good girl tomarrow where do you want to go to have fun?

If you have family or friends with kids around the same age you could set up play dates or sleep-overs so she'll have someone to play with.

We have to teach our kids to have respect, responsibility, what behavior is acceptable, keep them safe and love them with all our heart.

Kids love lots of smiles, hugs and I love you's.

Get her on a team...kickball, soccer, swimming...

Answer 3

My answer would depend on what you consider disobedient, because all kids are disobedient to a degree.  It depends what she is doing.  Sometimes you need to pick your battles.

It also depends on who is doing the punishing.  If your parents are the ones handling this then ok.  But if is you, then she's not going to listen.  Siblings, unless there is a massive age difference, are going to consider one another on the same level.  For instance, we have a 16 year old, then 11, 9 and 3, and the only authority that counts around here is ours.

Punishments should also be combined with rewards for positive behaviour.  If she is behaving badly because she gets attention, then there should be better balance.  If she gets the same attention for positive behaviour as she is currently getting for her negative behaviour, then it may make her rethink.

Also, find her greatest currency (thing she loves) and use that.  For instance, if she likes having friends over to play, you can use that as a reward and punishment.  If she misbehaves in this way she won't earn the privelege, if she behaves in this way for a period of time, she can have a friend to play.  Even set up a points system whereby bad behaviour takes points away, good behaviour adds points, and once a certain number of points is reached, she gets a reward that she really wants.

Remember even though your sister may not appear to have been treated differently, if she is the youngest (you didn't say), she is competing with a lot more of you for attention...... birth order can make a difference to how a child feels about their place in the family.

BTW, spanking doesn't work when they get to this age - it really only works effectively with very young children, and even then if used sparingly and appropriately.

Edited to add: I just saw your note about your parents, I'm sorry to hear that.  How old are you and your other siblings?

Answer 4

I think you just answered your own question.  You said that you spank your sister, but that when you do it is not done hard and is "only a tap."  That is why this is an ineffective punishment because it does not hurt enough to be a deterent.  In order for a spanking to work you need to give her at least 4 hard swats on her butt with your hand per incident.  Letting her know that she will be spanked and then giving her 10-15 minutes alone in her room to let that sink in may also help because it will,on a psychological level, make the punishment much worse than the spanking itself.  Of course, this second part would only be effective if she had already been punished once before with a real spanking instead of just a "tap" as you have said.  I would sugest making the 10-15 minute wait followed by a 4 hard swat spanking the main form of punishment for  your sister from now on.  It should work.