Help Needed. I asked my question few days ago but I did not like any answer.

Question

I cannot afford to talk to Doc nor I can talk to my GF.

My story is.

I met a girl and I like her a lot.

I have not been in any relationship nor had a GF from past many years now.

But this girl just broke up after 4 years being together.

She told me every thing about her X Bf from what they use to do, when she lost her Virginity to many other things..

Now my problem is , when ever I am with her, Her previous story keeps coming up in my mind and I get distracted, I lost my power and I am not able to do any thing. Her stories keep me thinking again and again and God know I cannot do my stuff.

Now I want to know, How do I get rid of those thoughts.

what should I do so that her stories dont disturbe me any more.

Please give me geniun answers.

Thanks

Answer 1

hey,

if she genuinely likes you, she wont be comparing him to you, and neither should you.

the best thing to do is realize she broke up with him, so it he cant be that great

=]

Answer 2

1. Her history is just that - history. It can't have meant much to her because she has chosen to leave it behind and be with you.

2. Now you make your histories together for however long it lasts. Make plans & memories - build up happy times & hopes together.

3. Don't make a big deal over performance - cherish her if that's how you feel, take care of each other & the rest will all follow on naturally.

With Best Wishes for now & the future, UK

Answer 3

So what exactly is the problem?  Are you intimidated by her past sexual experience and afraid you won't measure up?

Do you feel threatened because she has been in a relationship?

Do you think less of her because of the experiences that she has had?

What bothers you the most and how does it make you feel?  

Until I know that, I can't really make suggestions on how to get past your problem with it.

Answer 4

duudeee, thats weird.

and its not like someone from the internet can send you some pills that make you stop thinking about stuff. its all ur mental willpower. you choose to stop thinking about it, you forget. its not like you can never think about it...youll always kno. just get over it.

Answer 5

Is your Brain,you control it, if you have the desire to do so you will,nobody can help you,you have to deal with it yourself. IS ALL IN YOUR MIND

Answer 6

All relationships take a leap of faith.  So just leap, even though you're scared.  Physically, just leap in baby steps: kiss her until you stop thinking, touch her somewhere softly over and over until all you see is that one place you're stroking.  Tell yourself that you are going to live in each moment as you're with her.  There's no past or future - only a moment.  So, you're sitting in your home, there's the TV, the couch, the table, her shoes, her knees, her perfume, your cologne, the sound of a car outside.  Just breathe it all in, every moment.  And when you kiss her, try to stay in that and your senses will do the rest.  If you need to forgive her for her past, do it symbolically on your own first.  Bury it - it's dead.  Then take your leap.

Answer 7

Tell her how it really makes you feel. I know it is harder than it sounds but you can't keep ignoring it or listening to it. Maybe she is just trying to cope with her grieves and she needs somebody to listen. You could honestly say "Look, I feel bad for everything that has happened between you and your X but I really just want to focus on us and not your previous relationships." If she really likes you, she will understand and move on.