Help! Poem Analysis! =)?

Question

I understand it but it feels like I'm missing something. Any help would be appreciated! Thanks! =)

(the poem is a little strange/awkward but it's for school)

"In Second Grade Miss Lee I Promised Never to Forget You & I Never Did" - Alberto Rios

In a letting-go moment

Miss Lee the Teacher

Who was not married

And who the next year was not at school,

Said to us, her second grade,

<i>French lovers in the morning

Keep an apple next to the bed,

Each takingn a bite

On first waking, to take away

The blackish breath of the night,

You know the kind.</i>

A bite and then kissing,

And kissing like that was better.

I saw her once more

When she cam to sell encyclopedias.

I was always her favorite --

The erasers, and the way she looked at me.

I promised, but not to her face,

Never to forget

The story of the apples.

Miss Lee all blond hair and thin,

Like <i>a real movie star</i>

If she would have just combed herself more.

Miss Lee, I promised,

I would keep apples

For you.

Answer 1

IMO -- I like the poem very much.  You&#039;ve done good work.

It is straight forward and delightful.  I love the information about the apple -- no wonder they send fruit baskets to those who have expensive suites.

Because you use proper grammar throughout the poem, you need to use it everywhere.  You do not need to capitalize every line because the poem flows well with your punctuation.

In a letting-go moment

Miss Lee, the Teacher,  (added commas)

Who was not married,   (added comma)

When she cam to sell encyclopedias.  &lt;-- came

The erasers, and the way she looked at me.

I promised, but not to her face,  (What are the erasers, and how does it affect you and your favortism?  Did she throw erasers at the kids being noisy or something.  I think this needs a little explaination.

If she would have just combed herself more.

(I know what you want to say, but combing oneself doesn&#039;t give the picture of taking care of all aspects of personal grooming.)

The ending -- keeping apples for her -- is wonderful!

T.