Help! Should we be friends with benefits? or just friends?

Question

I've been hanging out with this kid for three months. I have felt that he liked me but he would never do anything about it! Beyond sleeping over and cuddling we have never done anything. I finally ask him whether we are friends or not a month ago and he responds with 'I don't know ... i haven't decided yet. I'm sorry'. I tell him not to worry about it and that he doesn't need to apologize and drop the subject. Yesterday I finally have the balls to ask him again. He apologizes for leading me on and says that he feels like an a*****e about it but that he still doesn't know what he wants. He says that ' i really like having you as a friend but I'm not sure how id feel if i was with you and and i guess i didn't want to **** it up really.' I don't know what to do. The topic of becoming friends with benefits came up and he said that he would definitively be up for that. I really like this kid but feel that I am being played. Now that the topic of us fooling around has come up I don't know how I feel anymore. I really want to have s*x with him but I don't know if this is a good idea. Do you guys think that he would just be using me for s*x? Do you guys think I should just back off completely or should I stick around and see if his mind changes about dating me? I don't know what to do so any input would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

I have been through this exact situation and I gave in to the whole friends with benefits thing.  This went on for several years off and on but in the end he married someone else and left me with a broken heart.  The only upside (if you want to see it that way) is that when his marriage failed after only a year and a half.......guess where he came running?  I'm not saying you are being played because I don't know the guy personally.  But if you give him what he wants with no feelings involved and no strings attached.  Well then he really has no reason than to take it for what it is.  Casual s*x between friends.

Answer 2

Wow!  He's "up for" being "friends with benefits", but can't tell you if you're friends?  That means he's OK with the s*x part, but doesn't want to make any kind of commitment.

Respect yourself, girl!  Your right...it's not a good idea.    

Answer 3

Just friends!

Answer 4

he is g*y

Answer 5

he just wants to hit it dont be fooled.

if u really want him to like you and be with you w8 for him dont just seduce him cause then that's all he'll want from you.

Answer 6

It's every guy's dream to have a "friends with benefits" type of girlfriend. That way, there's no commitment and when the next girl comes along, he doesn't have to worry about cheating on you, since there's no definition of relationship.

Answer 7

friends with benefits is so retarded.

Answer 8

just friends

Answer 9

back out the guy is a player

Answer 10

He'll never give you a answer as long as your giving him the benefit part.

Be friends and when the time gets late, say your not in the mood and don't weaken.

If the friendship ends you know what he wanted and have your answer.

Answer 11

It seems that both of you have a benefit from this friendship. If he uses you for s*x, you can do the same thing. Just don't give your heart before you really know about his heart. Don't hurt your self by dreaming of something that might not happen. Just enjoy this friendship for this moment. Tomorrow who knows? Maybe you are the one who loses interest in this friendship.