Help (Warning: long story)?

Question

Well about 3 years ago my mom seperated (not divorce) from my dad. My relationship with both of them became very distant and they seemed to notice it. So my dad was very persistent to make sure that he and I managed a better relationship and eventually I gave in and we now to this day have a relationship like we had before. As for my mom, she's not persistent...she just expects things to get better. Which it did a bit (seeing as I have to live with her) but we never actually managed to reconnect. And I hadn't noticed over those 3 years but now that I need more from her since I'm growing up, my mom and I have a very distant relationship. So my question is how can I close that gap between us? That seperation (they're still seperated by the way) had affected me emotionally but only one parents attempted to help me with it. Not that my mom didn't care, she just has to work a lot now and her stress level has been to the max. Which make it harder to close that gap. So yes help? Thank you!

Answer 1

talk to your mother about this and try to see if she could fit in some bonding time, you guys can do something like take a drive or go get your nails done, have dinner together once in a while, its the little things like that, that will help the bond.

Answer 2

as a divorced mom of four wonderful kids and a women who had parents that divorced when I was 6 yrs old.  I will tell you being a single mom is so hard but so rewarding. it is easy for dad to be the fun one the one you enjoy spending more time with because he is not the rule maker, the curfew enforcer etc. your mom loves you she really does she is just working hard to give you everything she can materially when working a few less hours and having more time with you there is what you really need. would  you agree. would you give up a pair of expensive jeans or a top to spend a few quality hours with her?  if so tell her that she probably does not know that. tell her you miss hanging out with her. Not sure how old you are but maybe she feels like you are at a stage where you prefer to hang out with your friends and thinks you do not need her as much.  I know I have a 16 and 15 yr old daughter and I take every summer off to spend time with all 4 kids. because they are only kids and teens once and grow up to fast, I wish my daughters appreciated the fact that I love then enough to do that. Good luck remember your mom and dad love you never choose between them love them both the same just remember your mom has the tough job of supporting your house/ apartment, electric , cable , cell, school clothes, while shaping you into an amazing young women I believe you are.

Answer 3

sit her down and tel her what yuo have told us . that now that you are growing you need  her more in your life and the distance that is between you 2 , you want to close that gap . i bet b4 it is all said and done you both will be having tears of joy

Answer 4

Move in with your dad.

Answer 5

same thing happened to me 2 years ago only it was between me and my dad!my parenst actualy got back together tho and we are still like that somtimes i just try to talk to him and try to be polite and try to have as much fun with him as possible... when she trys to talk to you listen and have confersations with her when she trys to make you laugh,laugh even tho it might not be that funny. enything to show you care, if she notices you are trying to come closer in you relationship she will try to

ps,thanks for answering my question

Answer 6

Tell your mom what you have told us, that you feel a gap and want to close it. Then ask her if she can schedule some time each day just for the two of you...even if it is just doing dishes together. Also ask her for a day each week that you and her have "girl time". Maybe it's going out to lunch and t alking, or playing a board game or taking a walk somewhere. Make sure it is something that involves the two of you interacting.

If you don't know how to say those things to her, then write her a letter and either e mail it to her, or leave it on her pillow or somewhere she will find it.

Answer 7

ask her to go shopping with you.

Answer 8

I agree with kidmindi, tell her what you told us, and see what happens from there. :D

Best of luck!

Answer 9

maybe rent some movies so when she comes home you two can relax together, ask her to help with homework, go grocery shopping with her, etc.

its the little things that count.

Best of Luck :]

Answer 10

try to close that gap by talking to her whenever you can like when she comes home. and my parents divorced too so i know how you feel emotionally. just talk to her and reconnect with her.

Answer 11

Talk to her, even though she's tired and stressed, she still loves you :]