Help!! Wedding etiquette question need help with.?

Question

I received an invite for my second cousin's wedding next month. I really want to go. She knows I have been seperated from my husband for more than a year and addressed the invite with ONLY my name on it...no "soand so and Guest". However, I have been seeing someone for the past 3 months and would really like him to go. Since I am not in close contact with this cousin, she doesnt even know I am seeing someone. But I would really like to bring him with even though the invite just has my name. Would it be tacky to bring him anyway? Could I call her and ask her if i could bring him? Also, since I am not technically divorced, would it be inappropriate for me to bring another man to a family event? If anyone has ever been in this situation, can you please help me? I would appreciate any advice. Thank you so much!!: D

Answer 1

Tricky situation!  If it were me, I would attend the wedding alone.  If it was a close friend I may consider asking, but since it's a relatively distant relative, I would go alone to this.  It is absolutely appropriate to start introducing a wonderful new man to the family, but she already sent the invitation.

It's also never a good idea to just bring an added guest, since they may be calculating plate costs and food amounts with the ones they are inviting.

Just invite this cousin to the next time you're introducing your boyfriend so she can start to meet him!

Good luck :)

Answer 2

Is there an RSVP card inside that asks you to list the number of guests?  If so, I would put down 2.  If not, call her up and let her know that you're coming and bringing a guest.

Eh, depends on your family.  Divorces take a while, so I don't know how far along you guys are (if you've started the proceedings at all).  It's like being broken up from your boyfriend for a year, even if it's not official.  I would think/hope that they would understand, but beware of those who will disagree and make sure your man knows that he may get some dirty looks.

(I've worked in lawfirms that handled divorces that have lasted for years.  Forcing yourself not to love, just because a piece of paper still says you're married, is ridiculous.  As long as your partner knows about it, you're okay, unless you think your ex would use this against you in divorce proceedings - infidelity and all.)

Answer 3

Totally tacky.  Your divorce is not final, therefore, I think it would be incredibly ostentatious to bring along the guy you're seeing.

I would wait to bring the new guy to more informal family events or wait until you're divorced.  There will be other times.

You're a big girl,  you don't need a date.

Answer 4

Yes, it would be tacky. They are paying to feed each guest and it is very expensive. Go alone or ask if you can bring an escort. If they say "No" accept it gracefully.

Answer 5

No, No, No, No, No, No....you can NOT call her and ask to bring a date.  Especially since you aren't close to her.

She clearly thought it through and decided that she wanted you there, but didn't have room in her budget - venue for someone else.

If you refuse to go alone, then send back a no RSVP and send a gift.

The fact that you are separated not divorced doesn't mean anything...it's the fact that she didn't include a guest for you therefore she didn't want you to bring anyone.  Brides think every detail through....

Sorry!!

Answer 6

Tacky & inappropriate.......if you were in the final stages of getting your divorce, or were already divorced, then you could enquire...but no, not under these circumstances.

Answer 7

no

Answer 8

If she didn't include "and guest" then you are not allowed a guest.  It would be rude to assume otherwise or call and ask her if you can bring someone.

If you don't want to or can't go without him, decline to attend.  If someone asks, feel free to tell them why you cannot attend.

Answer 9

Hi.  IF you were divorced, you could possibly call her and ask her if it was OK to bring a date.  However, since you are NOT divorced, I would totally give up the idea of bringing another guy to a family event.  

Just my opinion......

Answer 10

1. No, you can't just bring someone when the invitation was only addressed to you.

2. I would not press the issue of bringing a guest.  Your cousin could have a limited budget and it would put her on the spot and possibly embarrass her if you called and asked her if you could bring your boyfriend.  

3. It's great that you are moving on and all, but if you feel uncomfortable going alone, then RSVP no and just send a card and gift if you want.

My husband and I were married a month ago.  One couple n we invited as Mr. & Mrs. but instead, he brought his girlfriend and not his wife (he's not even separated).  That was awkward.

Answer 11

There are two possible reasons why your cousin didn't add 'and guest' to your invitation. The first is that she didn't want to hurt your feelings by suggesting that you bring someone when she didn't know you were dating. The second is that they may simply have an absolutely full guest list.

I think you should call her and ask.  If she has any spare seats then I am sure that she will be happy for you to bring your date and if not I am sure he won't mind explaining. I certainly wouldn't mind being asked this question.

Answer 12

If the invitation does not say "and guest", it would be impolite to bring one.

Answer 13

In this instance you go alone. Go on, you'll have fun!

Answer 14

Unless you are invited with a guest, you shouldn't bring a guest. She addressed the invite to you, and to you ONLY - which means, only you are invited. Not your husband, not your ex-husband, not your date... Just you. Most people don't have unlimited budget, and inviting single guests alone is one way to cut down on the number of mouths to feed. It would be very tacky for you to bring a guest in spite of the couple's wishes.

Answer 15

Tacky is ones opinion..however I would not recommend bringing along anyone. The invitation clearly stated just your name, maybe your family member knew you were single at this time and addressed it accordingly. Or perhaps the bride & groom may not be able to afford additional "friends/guests"

I wouldnt call and ask someone to bring an additional guest to the wedding unless I had a close relationship with the bride/groom.

Answer 16

I am recently divorced and had a boyfriend technically before my divorce was final.  I also was pregnant by my boyfriend before my divorce was final.  I wish now i would have waited until all the kinks had been worked out.  Although we are still together and will be married next year, when I think about things i wish i would have waited for the divorce to be final first. I think u should probably wait for the divorce if there will be one, before bringing another man around family members.