Help! What should I do? My husband doesn't love me anymore?

Question

Me and my husband got married got married at a super young age. It's because I got pregnant. I was 18 and he 20. First months of our life together were generally good, but a little after that, we would start arguing way too much. It started off by him wanting to go out and I was too tired because I was pregnant and just wanted to sleep, so I would let him go, but then he would come back till' 1 in the morning all drunk like almost every day. I kept telling him how mad and unhappy that made me nut he just told me that it shouldn't matter because he's still young and needs to have fun and shouldn't suffer because I'm pregnant and he's not, we have different responsibilities. Then I just decided to stick it out through all this fighting and see how he'll act when the baby's here. So when our gorgeous baby was born he hasn't changed much. I mean we argue allot and stuff but by the end of the day would forgive each other because we were so in love. then one time our arguments got so bad that he got physical and hit me. I got so mad and called the cops on him. they put him in jail for couple hours and bla bla. well it turned good for him no charges or anything and we worked it out after all. Now our arguments are just as bad we would argue every other day and now eventually after a pretty big argument we had he totally changed his feelings for me. All of a sudden he's tired of all this drama and tired of me and doesn't wanna be with me anymore. No matter hOw much I’ve been begging him. I know we argue way too much and our marriage is a big big mess, but I love him with all of myself and really don’t want to lose him and separate our family. What should I do? Move on? Or how can I fix our marriage? And how can I make him fall in love with me again?

Answer 1

JERRY!  JERRY!  JERRY!  ........

Answer 2

Dear, it sounds like you have been there through the thick and the thin. ANY man that strikes a woman deserves no one. My advice to you, no matter how hard it is to hear is to consider a divorce. Chances are that if he hasn't come back around to you by now, he may never. Do the right thing for you and your precious baby, do not allow that child to be raised in fear of violence. Emotional or physical. Good luck, I am praying for you.

Answer 3

You knew he was like that from the start i'm quessing ? he has even put his hands on you and you still want him back? you both sound immature why would you put your kid threw that. stop thinking about yourself and think about your child. your marriage didn't work then and it's not going to work out now.

Answer 4

Being married you have got to have some set boundaries. What I mean by that is , you have got to stop all of the arguing and yelling.  That is only making matters worse.  You have got to abe able to talk to each other.  You have got to show each other respect. You've got to learn to trust each other and no what the each of you expect out of each other.  You have a child to think about now.  Not just the two of you anymore.  You made that baby out of love not hate.  You have not stated what you two argue about.  Talk and listen to each other.  I cannot state that enough.  Talk and listen to each other.  Yes everyone wants to go out and have fun But first of all your responsibilities must be met.  By that I mean are the bills paid, and are there food in the pantry.  Gas in the vehicle and then you have extra.  That's when you go out.  And hopefully you go out together.  If you can't go together than you don't go.......If you want a boys nite out with the guys and you can afford it then by all means go, but remember you can have a girls nite out also and he can stay at home with the baby.  Or you get a sitter and the two of you go out together and have fun.  Remember you are now partners and partners stick together.  

Answer 5

you can't fix something that was never good to begin with. You may have had a few good months but that was when you were in your beginning stages of the relationship, when everyone is on the best behavior. You two have not seen eye to eye thru most of this fiasco. He hit you, you had him arrested..phew! You call it love, I call it "hanging in" and for no good reason. Time to bail out. Go home to your mother and let her help you give that baby a better chance at a safe home. No more arguing and no more being wishy-washy. Make decisions and stick to them. Time to grow up and mature. The drinking has to stop too.  Good luck!

Answer 6

You can`t make him fall in love with you again. He tried marriage , and a baby, and family, and has decided that it`s not for him. Selfish to say the least.

Answer 7

Why do women feel that they can change a man by sleeping with him or having his baby.

You guys are fighting, he still goes out, you call the cops on him there is no maturity here.

First things first girl you made your mistakes do not let your child be a victim of these mistakes do what is best for the child. You need to put you and your child in an environment.

He should be so lucky to have a baby with you and if he doesn't feel that way then leave. Stop begging him that just empowers him to do what he wants.

Just get out girl and live for your child you'll be happy you did children give unconditional love thats what you need most now.

I can't stand men like this they make us responsible ones look bad. I has a cousin who did this I flew across the country and put his *** back on a plane, but you cant change them as soon as I left he bailed out again.

Answer 8

He is not ready for marriage and I would not blame age too much.

He is the kind of guy who wants to party all night and could care less about starting a family.

You need to leave him and collect Child Support.

Answer 9

..Fights..arguments..whether it be about money...going out and partying....coming home late...husband being lazy and not working...even cheating.....fights for married couples could be ALL kinds of different things....but the one thing that have in common is that they can all be worked out...in SOME way. But once someone falls out of love with someone....that's the end. If you try to make him fall back in love with you....then you might do so many things for him that changes you...and ultimately make you unhappy in the long run anyways. So if you can't talk to him and explain to him about all the things you feel..and that you want to work this out...and if he's unwilling to do that because he doesn't love you...then you're going to have to let him go...sorry to say.

Answer 10

You were far too young to get married and start having children.  You should have used protection.

You should have probably gotten an abortion instead of getting yourself into this huge mess.

Seriously, you two need to get a divorce.  Move on with your lives, and hey put the kid up for adoption that way the kid actually ends up having a chance at a good life with a couple that can actually be responsible enough to provide it with a good home, upbringing, and give it a real chance in life.  Anything is better then it having to be the product of a poor trailer park single mother home.

Answer 11

Sweetie maybe you both need to get some marriage counseling and see if this can help you both. You need to really find out what he honestly feels about you to know if he is worth fighting for. If he truly does not want to be there with you then you do not want him there no matter what you feel about him. He needs to want you as much as you need him in order for things to ever be right.If he doesn't have it in him to continue on then things will only get progressively worse for the two of you. Even though you feel love for someone sometimes that love is not enough to keep you with someone.Your husband sounds very restless because he is still very young and trying to find himself. I imagine that he is not sure about what he wants even though he is a father and a husband already? If he feels that he has not sowed all of his oats he will continue to act out against you while being in this relationship. This is not fair to you and your child because there will be no peace when he runs out most nights acting as if he is single and feeling that you both have different responsibilities. The reality and truth is that you are both in this together and his behavior is taking away the security and safeness that you should feel from him. No matter what he feels he is going through does not give him the right to hit you so never tolerate abuse from anyone. This is not healthy for you or your child when he gets to the point of laying his hands on you. I understand the hurt you must feel and as difficult as it would be for you to let him go you know you have to if he sincerely is unhappy with you in his life. I would calmly sit him down and talk to him about getting some direction in your lives if there is a chance for the two of you to make it for the long haul. If he chooses not to then you have no other choice but to walk away from him because you cannot make him love you if he doesn't have it in him. You have to think about your own life and that of your baby because you cannot go on living this way if he does not want changes for the better to.