Help a student who doesn't talk?

Question

There's a teen girl in my class (age 15) who barely talks. She'll answer when called on, but very quietly and the words are choked out. She doesn't talk to any other students in class or the hall. But she is very smart, one of the top students. How should I approach her? I want to talk to her, and I think she wants to be able to talk to me. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Set aside some time to talk with her quietly and confidentially, but I would suggest not asking her to do this (to stay and talk after class, school, or whenever works for you) in front of other students.  That could make her feel more uncomfortable or apprehensive.  It sounds as if she very well may have some anxiety issues of some sort.  Tell her you have noticed she is a bit quiet in class and that you are wondering what you can do to make her more at ease.  Ask her about her likes, what she is interested in, what she hopes to learn in your class, and anything you can do to help her feel more comfortable.  Tell her that you notice her intellect and hope to help her develop it even more fully.    Letting her see your genuine concern in a respectful and private manner is a great way to begin to build the foundation for a solid relationship between the two of you.  

It is also a good idea to let your guidance counselor and/or the student assistance team in your building know about your worries to help bring other teachers on board.  I am assuming she is in a high school setting and it would also be a good idea to talk to teachers who had her last year to see if they have any insight regarding this behavior, and it will alert you to her past history - i.e. did she display these behaviors last year?

This is a starting point and by exploring some of her past history and by speaking with her about her feelings you will have a good idea of where to go next.  Definitely keep your guidance counselor posted and on board with things to help from this point.  I won't go into specifics from here as it will best come from the staff you and she work with.  

So often, kids such as these are overlooked as they are not a behavior problem and it can be so easy to allow these quiet kids to fade into the background.  Thank you for noticing her and for wanting to reach out.  You can be the one to make a difference to her.  Good luck!

Answer 2

Compliment her on how well she is doing in class... i should know. It is nice when a teacher complements you! Then maybe she will open up more and feel more comfortable...

Answer 3

well i used to be like that, but i was able to grow out of it thanks to a friend i now have. i didn't talk to much because i didn't think people would except me easily so i was mostly quite up until the summer between my freshman year and sophomore year. i got a job down the street where i met this guy who happened top live in the next neighborhood. at first i didnt talk to anyone at work but the guy started jokin around with me, you know just a joke here in there givin me a hard time. eventually he started askin what kind of music i listened to. and im a big music person. after we became friends i gained alot of confidence for some reason and started talking to alot of people even making jokes in class and makin everyone laugh.

so what i would do if i was you is just maybe  joke around a lil ask her for help with something and find something in common... or just something she likes and talk about that. eventually she'll talk to you alot easier and in doing that hopefully others too :)

Answer 4

Are you the teacher or a student?  Whatever, ask her to do a task with you one to one .... anything, label books, sharpen pencils, sort something out in class .... on a one to one, where there is silence you will eventually talk .... have some musci on in the background so not total silence....!  but with a task less intimidating than please sit down and talk to me ....!  A common task between you will open up doors.....

Answer 5

When I was younger, I was that student. I was very shy, and didn't know how to approach people in order to make friends, but I was very lonely. I always wanted someone to just approach me and begin talking to me. Being so shy, I often was scared to converse back a lot, but liked to listen to my friends speak, and encouraged their conversations flowing so that there would be no awkward silence and I would be stressed out into saying something. Later on in the friendships, however, the conversations flowed as I became comfortable, and am now an outgoing person. (Well, comparatively.) Complement her clothes, or agree with an answer she made in class. That could be the beginning to a long friendship :)

Answer 6

i gotta admit.. fer a teacher ur WEIRD!!!

Answer 7

Just go up to her and say "hey, I'm insert name here. wut's up?" or something like that. or ask for help with an assignment.  

Answer 8

Bring something into school, like a photo album, that you think might interest her. Start talking to her by showing her the album or book, etc. This way the focus is not on her, or on you. She probably isn't able to return approaches for friendship immediately, so people just give up.  But, if you bring something and show her, she isn't expected to have something to show you immediately. And, if she wants, she can later bring something to show you.  

Answer 9

ask her a q. after class like r u ( leb, italian ect.) then hopefully that will start a convo.

u can ask her about an assignment or something to be work related

tips: try to talk in a teen matter my teacher is really gd at talking to mi class cause she knows how to talk to teens(asks opinon on clothes, shoes ect.)

plz help me with mine http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 10

She probably suffers from social anxiety.  Just start up a conversation with her.  Pick a place and time that is quiet without a lot of people around  so that she doesn't feel like the center of attention.  

Answer 11

I think you would make her day if you approached her and showed an interest. My daughter is like that girl. They don't want to be the way they are, they just can't help it. They are socially uncomfortable. If you have the same lunch period, you could meet her there or you could walk home with her.  

Answer 12

Six years ago, I had a freshman English student who had selective mutism.  She would whisper to another student who would then speak to me for her.  When I spoke to the class as a whole, I made sure I made eye contact with her just as I did with every other student.  I didn't force her to speak, but I made it clear that the option was there.  I made sure that I would say something to her between classes or whenever I saw her outside the classroom.  I'd greet her or just ask a rhetorical question.  I'd talk TO her, always with a smile on my face, but didn't require a response.  Slowly, she opened up.  By senior year, she was downright gregarious!  Last June, she came to a class reunion and told me that she was studying elementary ed.     She had really blossomed.      

   Your student might not have selective mutism, but might just need to open up in her own time.  She may be able to better express herself in writing.  One of my favorite assignments is an "Alumni Newsletter."   The kids have to project themselves about 20 years into the future and imagine they're being featured in our school's newsletter.  They have to format it as a newsletter (pictures, masthead, headline...) They write the article in the third person and become the reporter using a pseudonym.  They have to include details like where they attended college, what career they pursued, their family life (married? kids? white picket fence?), whether they stayed in touch with classmates, and fondest memories of high school (these can be made up, since the freshmen really don't have any memories yet!)   I've found out some interesting things about my students in these assignments!