Help! advice please!

Question

m 16 and so me and my friends have just finished our gcses which everyone was stressin over anyway, there's a girl in my class at school who's had a tough time time this year with bullies etc and recently we all found out her dad died of cancer which came as a huge shock as no-one even knew he had it. thing is , this girl is still coming into school laughing and joking, she's a bit of a class clown and really popular but has had trouble this year as bi*chy girls have been jelous of her but she never gets upset and just laughs it off when ever anyone tries to help her. i really want her to open up though cos i know she needs it, she'd also struggled with ocd this year and for a while was like washing her hands with bleach, a brillo pad and boiling wate r(her sister walked in on her and told us) - she won't admit she has ocd to anyone and just laughs it off but it's fairly obvious to everyone. i know she's not close to her family and doesn't get on with her mum, she has a hard time opening up to people and i know the usual

'you know you can come and talk to me, i'm here for you' wont get me very far

i'm worried about her! she keeps putting on this not bothered act!

Answer 1

This girl is struggling just to maintain every day.  She may be laughing on the outside, but she is hurting on the inside.  So far, with all of her troubles with bullies, she may not feel she can confide in anyone.  

Don't put her down for not outwardly showing her grief. We all grieve in different ways and although you want to extend your sympathies, she needs counseling and once she has been able to deal with her grief and overcome some of her other problems, she may be ready to open up.  She has trust issues and it is no wonder when even her sister goes blabbing to the school about her OCD.

Answer 2

i think that it is wonderful that you are so caring of another in this way

i think however that this public way of joking around is her current way of trying to cope with what  is going on - at the moment she isnt ready to admit (perhaps even to herself) that there are issues to be faced in her own life - hence she avoids it as a way of coping day to day.

i think for now just be part of her social circle and be ready and waiting when she does run out of steam with dealing with issues in this clownish way and finally sees the wisdom of finding someone to confide in

you show a good heart and maturity beyond your years in this question - i am sure that one day your friend will appreciate what a good person you are to have as a friend