Help at school for a 1st grader..?

Question

We've already talked to the Teacher & Principal but no help has corrected this problem.Their is a kid in my Joseph's class that does not like him he bullies him and tells all the kids Not to play with him and they won't play with him ..He hates going to school now because he has No one to play with during recess or lunch.He tells me know one wants to be his friend and it breaks my heart because he is a good kid witha big heart that just wants to have fun in school but this bully won't leave him alone. When the bully grandmother picks him up I've even told her about it but of course nothing has changed .Please any suggustions would help at this time!!

Answer 1

If its really bad I knew kids that were home schooled and turned out great.  I dont know if you're working, but my aunt homeschools my cousins and they got into a top private school.  Its a big task and I dont know if you work, but it might be an alternative.  Kids are cruel these days even more so when I was in middle school in the nineties.  There can be a whole other aspect of school that is BS and holds students back.  I got teased in school and I hung out with "the cool kids" who were actually pretty lame to be honest.  Most of these bullies were either abused by their parents or have just grown up in a dysfunctional family..  They get what they deserve later in life. Maybe send him to another school.... Id rough up this bully for you he'd never mess with your son again ;)

Answer 2

Schools rarely do anything about this.....my heart breaks for your son this is awful and will follow him all his life. It's hard to send normal well adjusted kids into a school full of maladjusted criminals in the making.

My suggestions.....cyberschool  or call the superintendent, be persistent and stay on top of this situation!!! A parent is a child's ONLY advocate in the public education system.

Answer 3

Demand that the principal call the parents or guardians in to the school for a meeting.

Answer 4

First of all, changing schools or homeschooling is NOT the answer.  That would only teach your child to run from his problems.  About the bully---not a lot you can do, but keep trying.  Send a registered letter to the principal, and also to the school board.  List what is going on and everything you have tried to do about it. Remind them that it is their LEGAL DUTY to make sure your child has a safe and harrassment-free study environment.  Tell them you would hate to get an attorney involved but will do so if necessary.  Next, you need to work with your child.  Invite a classmate to a sleepover.  He may not be able to win over the class, but maybe just one at a time.  If not someone in his own class, maybe someone in another class that has recess at the same time.  After school sports or karate would also be great places to find friends, as would Sunday School.

Answer 5

First try the school board and superintendent. If it is getting to the point that it is hurting your childs education and they are doing nothing to protect your child. That is negligence on their behalf.

Ask that the child be removed from school, or replaced to a seperate area.

Document everything.

If the bullying continues (as I suspect it will) call Social Services. Explain the situation. There is possibly a reason the child thinks it is alright to act this way. Not only will they investigate the family forcing them to take care of the situation, but they will investigate the school as well.

Once the state gets involved the school has no choice but to comply or lose funding.

The only other scenario (I recommend as an absolute last case) is via attorney. Force the school to take action. Schools have gotten into a lot of hot water over recent years due to the ignoring of school bullies. Sue the school and the childs family.

No matter what action you take DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.

When you go to see the superintendent/school board. Present papers stating what you are asking and their responses. As them to sign, with a witness present. Its not a sworn statement of course, but they can be used as evidence the school had prior knowledge and did nothing.

Answer 6

If you had a co-worker who bullied you, turned other employees against you, and your boss's boss refused to do anything about it, what would you do?  You would get another job, of course.

You have one of two solutions available here:  switching schools, which is no guarantee of success, since bullying is part of the school system, or to homeschool, and provide your son with classes and activities which will help him soar.

Be well.

Answer 7

That breaks my heart.  I'm so sorry that things are so rough for your son.

I'm also sorry to hear that your school doesn't have a better bullying policy.  My son's school has a "Zero Tolerance" policy and they nail bullies in the bud.  My suggestion would be to write to the school and let them know that you are making a formal complaint regarding the situation, and then look for another school, if possible.  One that has a better policy in regards to bullies.  

You could also try to write the school board about their bully policies and the problems your son has had.

I wish nothing but the best for you guys.  My 10 year old has ADHD, which makes him horribly impulsive and immature, but he is the sweetest most tender heart out there.  Its a shame what power bullies have over other children.  Best of luck!

Answer 8

A friend of mine went through this.  She really didn't know how bad it was until she was helping out in the class and saw that every single girl refused to go with her daughter to the bathroom (they can go during class but they have to take a buddy).  Usually kids jump at the chance to get out of the class for five minutes but they all were all afraid of looking like they were breaking ranks.

She did all sorts of things to help her daughter.  She invited the kids in class to one-on-one playdates at her house - many kids did, and they played fine when they were alone together.  But it didn't help the problem.  There were one or two girls who were the sort of ringleaders and when the class was together, they ran the show.

She talked to the teacher, the principal, and it's clear that they were not going to step in and do anything.  About this girls personality, she is not the shy, retiring type.  She's involved in sports and has good self-esteem.  She just couldn't figure out why a kid that played with her alone wouldn't talk to her at school.  She's very, very pretty with curly blonde hair and I can't help but wonder if even at such a young age there was some jealousy going on.  

Eventually they solved the problem - they switched schools. It was a year and a half of h**l for my friend, and her daughter is so much happier at the new school.

Answer 9

I would suggest you to switch to another school.

Answer 10

For a first grader something like this is rather difficult, since your child will most likely not be able to handle it without some help from authority figures.  (like most 1st graders).

Since the grandmother does not care and the teachers don't seem to be doing anything, I'm not really sure on where you could go.  

Maybe help your child get friends outside of school where the bully has no influence.  Put him into a summer camp during the summer.

I don't see much of this helping immediately, though.  There might be classes in your area with "helping to deal with a bully" as a subject, maybe you could enroll your child into one of those?

I hope I helped...

Answer 11

Aww, the poor boy.

You can try switching schools, though it may be a little late in the year, but still, its a suggestion.

Also, if you see the kid, give him a dirty look, my mom does that all the time. And mostly the kids feel scared, then all you have to worry about is the b--itch of a mother.

you know what they say, like mother like child.

Answer 12

talk to the other parents in your son's class.  Maybe invite another kid over for a playdate at your house.

Answer 13

Does the teacher know this problem has not been corrected? I'd ask the teacher what she did to correct it and tell her it's still a problem. If you still get nowhere switch schools. My children's school wouldn't tolerate this for a minute, no school should.

Answer 14

i cannot believe that teacher doesn't not do anything about. I have a first grader boy who is shy and had told me that noone plays with him at recess. so i went and talk to his teacher and she had said. i check on that because she had said that they encourage everyone to be friends with everyone. they do not tolerate bullies at his school. I am very shocked to that the principal isn't doing anything either. I personally would take my son out of that school and put him in another school.