Help! boyfriend problems.

Question

im 17 years old and i've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for four months. when we first started going out, he would always call me everyday, come to all of my volleyball games, and hang out with me as much as possible. recently, he barely ever calls me or texts me. im always the one calling/texting him and i'm tired of doing all the work. he never comes to my volleyball games anymore and when we hang out its always because i asked him to. i dont know whats wrong? i still like him a lot and im pretty sure he hasn't stopped liking me. what should i do? should i confront him about this?

Answer 1

Let's see - four months, used to call every day and attend all volleyball games, hang out as much as possible.  Recent contact only when initiated by you.  Several possibilities.

And how is it that you are asking here, instead of talking it over with him?  Several possibilities, very different.  Perhaps he has something he hasn't felt free to share with you, have you asked?  Is the spotlight and conversation always on you?  "Should I confront him?"  What?  Why are you trying to start a fight?  Do you expect him to forever be about nothing but you?  Constant contact is a characteristic of infatuation or puppy love.  That is never going to last with anyone who is halfway normal.  Perhaps you're too demanding, too insecure to allow for quiet times or to let someone else have some of the focus, or time alone.  Confront sounds like you really want to let him have it and may think it generous if you're only confrontational at start.

Or.  Maybe the infatuation stage went on too long, and he is trying to figure out why he feels like he has Saturday movie matinee stomachache (from eating every sweet in sight)...  That avid, can't-do-without-you stage should lead to getting to know something of your partners habits, processes, goals and desires... Did you by any chance neglect to do that?

Do try to have a talk, without blaming, and do draw him out and listen.  This may be minor, or just a change, a shift, or he may have illness in the family, you just don't know unless you ask.  In any case, it won't hurt to learn.  The relationship may turn a corner, or perhaps you will move on but with a better understanding of how to find what you want.  There really is a lot of work in a relationship, on both sides, whenever one is successful past the infatuation stage.

Do not insist on permanent infatuation.  This is real only in really bad movies and psychiatrist's files.

Answer 2

Unfortunately at your age, guys come and go this way.  Most of them are too chicken to just tell you that it's over.....and it definately sounds like it is over.  Take the control back and be the better, more mature person.....walk right up to him and say (not angrily, or yelling) "Things aren't going well with us, so I'm going to have to end our relationship".  Move on with your life...this won't be the last guy you date.  Also keep in mind that in the future to end things and not let it dribble on...it's only respectful to the other person.  It might seem hard right now, but trust me it's all just a learning process.  You're learning what your needs and wants are through all relationships you have...never settle for less, and never allow someone to lead you on and on.  At the end of the "process" you'll have all the "tools" you need when the right one comes along.  Sorry for your troubles, and much luck! :)

Answer 3

sounds like you've pretty much been dumped chika, the same thing happened to me once.  i know its sad, but its inevitable.  high school dudes are morons with one track minds, they all get bored eventually.  just dont do what i did and make a complete fool out of yourself.  just think about the fact that your life is better off without him and look on the bright side.  you'll find a real man someday that won't get bored with you after 4 months. :) men are a complicated species anyways......

Answer 4

Of course you should confront him! It's the only way you'll know about any of the things that are happening.

Answer 5

just say we need to talk, dont wonder why this is happening talk about it and find out..

Good Luck

Jess xx