Help...crying, craziness?

Question

When I am at work or anywhere, I sometimes get mad out of the blue and then I get this full rush of energy where my heart go really fast, I feel blood to my face, I get shaky, and so overwhelmed that I want to cry, I almost cry, or I actually do cry.

Ex. A customer ask me for a water cup. I gave him it. He looked suspicious then he got sprite. I got pissed, I yelled so loud from over the counter at him in front of a lunch rush. My boss, calmed me down. He always knows how I get and always tells me, Ok, calm down, breath, he always holds me back a little. I think he can really see my feelings, which is good that he won't just fire me. Then I am happy one min. sad the next, mad, etc. I "snap" at people every few days for little things it makes no sense after it happens and I look back. But, I get so mad, then I can barely hold myself that I want to cry continuously. What is this?

Sometimes it happens if someone looks at me a weird way. Sometimes it happens for no reason; I just snap. I don't understand what is wrong. And sometimes, people's little comments to me make me so mad or hurt. I bottle it all in, because I feel like I want to hurt myself. I just need to figure out what this is.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry.  I can't imagine dealing with that.  My first though reading your question is that you might have some form of bipolar disorder.  I'm guessing that you aren't depressed, but what you described is a good example of mania, jumping from one mood to the next with out any warning or much reason.

My next thought, when I read "I bottle it all in, because I feel like I want to hurt myself" is that you just might have a problem handling criticism or people not trusting you.  But, from what I know about you, I think that you tend to handle criticism pretty well.  You have strong beliefs and are willing to defend them, so I don't know if that fits too well.  

One explanation might be that you have a passive-aggressive personality, where you just take every thing and take everything and act like it doesn't bother you, internalize it, and then all of a sudden lose it and snap.  If that's the case, you can work on not internalizing negative feelings, work on dealing with them appropriately as they happen, and then letting them go.  If you can stop from letting it build up, you have less that can snap when you finally get pushed over the edge.

Don't feel like you need to take negative actions/comments and beat yourself up about them.  You can't control what other people do, nor should you really care.  You're a smart, passionate person and you're great!  You don't have to play the martyr and beat yourself up about anything.  Nelson Mandela used a quote that I think you might like.  He said "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Answer 2

  This could be a sign of a possible anxiety problem, I would consult your doctor and tell him about several experiences. This could also be a result of stress or possibly a chemical unbalance in your system. Hope this helps!  

Answer 3

I had problems like that.  Turned out I had bipolar disorder.  Talk to a psychiatrist. It is good to treat it earlier rather than later.

here is a link for more info

http://www.nami.org

http://www.dbsallinace.org

here is info that doctors use to diagnose bipolar disorder, you might want to see if it fits you.

http://allpsych.com/disorders/mood/bipol...

Answer 4

Well, I think it's part of motherhood! I'm not kidding. I used to be the most mellow, easy going person; now, I'm a complete nutter!

Since I've had my son I feel like my entire chemestry has changed. It's so odd. I just feel like I'm not in control of anything anymore. I don't ever feel like hurting myself or any of that, but I do get that rush of anxiety! I used to always think things out, now I feel like my every move is on impulse.

Prime example, last Thurs. I was leaving McDonald's; I got a strawberry milkshake and headed on my way. I stopped at a red light and stuck the straw in my milk shake .. well, the girl behind me honked because I didn't take a right turn against a red light. I *tried* to ignore her .. but she kept honking, so I just stayed in park. The light turned green and I just sat there ..

By this time she started squawking at me and her passanger threw her drink at my car and the driver quickly pulled into the Taco Bell parking lot. I was SO pissed, I stopped my car in the middle of traffic; threw it in reverse and tried to find this chick! (obviously, not the best move considering there was 4 of them and ONE of me! And the chick driving looked quite big and masculine .. I wouldn't have been able to do much against 4 burley chicks in my heels! :)

I don't know what my deal is. I can be totally calm one second, and then out of the blue I'm a complete ball of emotion. I've NEVER cried at stupid stuff; now, when something is out of place (or my house is a mess) I get this extremely overwhelmed feeling like I just want to cry! It's weird... it's hard to explain .. but I definitely attribute it to my hormones from having a baby!

I mean, seriously, I get worked up over the stupidest thing. Like for example, I have curly hair .. if I dry my hair and my hair is flat, I freak! Or the other day I went to bed (exhausted) and my husband's dog barked RIGHT when I fell asleep, I almost pissed myself! I came FLYING out of the bedroom and told my husband if he didn't put the dog in the garage I was going to cut his balls off! LOL. I was so freakin' ticked, I told him that his dog was g*y! LOL. I told him his dog was a 'q***r.' He was like, WHAT? is that supposed to hurt me?? LOL.

I don't know ... I'm crazy and I admit it.

I never, ever, want to hurt myself, or anyone else .. but I definitely act on direct emotion! I'm no longer the 'cool calm and collective' level headed person I once was.

Heck, it might even be my birth control pills! I don't know, but I'm a hormonal mess ..

I'm happy and I love life, but I admit I have some sort of anxiety going on.

I think you should mention your symptoms to your Doctor, you might need medication for anxiety. I used to work at a Walk In Medical Clinic before I got pregnant and I saw this kind of stuff ALL the time! They were handing out anxiety pills left and right ..

I'm sure I'm a perfect candidate for some anxiety medication, but I just don't want to deal with the 'process of elimination' when it comes to figuring out which medication.

Anyway, if you really feel like you want to hurt yourself (or someone else) you really do need to get medicated.

Just talk to a Doctor, you'd be surprised, it's a LOT more common than you think!

Just hang in there .. and think about that gorgeous baby boy of yours! He needs you more than anyone else on the face of this earth! Always remember that ..

Take care of you!

God bless!

Answer 5

d**n ANGER ISSUES!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol just find a way to release your anger. I play violent games to get it out.