Help editing poem?

Question

please help me edit this poem and if you see something u would like changed to make it sound better please tell me :) ( it needs two poetic devices please help )i guess i got the idea from a song i heard (imaginary friend) so i decided to name my hamster Benjamin after this song =D

When you left me i feel back,

now my world is painted black,

my world is slowly being torn apart,

when you decided to take my heart,

you where my only friend,

you said you would love me till the end,

others claimed you where imaginary,

i disclaimed and said "oh contrary",

To me you surely where real,

in my youth you where the biggest deal,

you may have left me my imaginary friend,

but ill always remember you sweet Benjamin.

Answer 1

When you left me i fell back,

and now my world is painted black.

my world was being torn apart,

when you decided to take my heart.

I labeled you my only friend,

you promised to love me till the end,

At times others claimed that you were not real,

I knew they didn't see my world, so surreal.

To me you surely did exsist

In my heart the memories persist.

Though my  imagination has grown thin,

I will always remember you, Benjamin.

Hope I helped!

Answer 2

awesome poem change the words "where" to "were"

on the first line change the word "back" into "a crack"

on the 10th line try replacing it with "together we made a friend ship seal"  -yours is fine this one is just a suggestion

Answer 3

switch back&&blackk....

how aboutt mineeeeeeeeeeeee?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 4

When you left me I feel back, (??)

Now my world is painted black,

My world is slowly ripping apart,

When you chose  to take my heart,

You were my one and only friend,

You promised love for me utill the end,

Others claimed you were imaginary,

I disclaimed and announced "oh contrary",

To me you were indubitably real,

In my youth you were an utmost deal,

You may have left me my imaginary friend,

But I'll always remember you sweet Benjamin.

Tip: try to watch out for confusing 'where' and 'were'.

I like the poem, and feel free to use or discard any of my input. In the first sentence I am not sure what you're trying to say though.

Answer 5

When you left me I fell back,

now my world is painted black,

my world is slowly being torn apart.

When you decided to take away my heart

you were my only friend.

You said you would love me until the end.

Others claimed that you were imaginary.

I disclaimed and said 'oh contrary',

to me you were surely real.

In my youth you were the biggest deal.

You may have left me my imaginary friend

but i'll always remember you sweet Benjamin.

Good job...