Help for a failing marriage?

Question

My husband and I have been married for 6 months and I've already noticed major changes in both of us. I've started realizing that he doesn't give me what I need, things like cuddle time, support, kissing regularly, etc. We don't spend much time together, and when we do we argue. He sits on his computer or reads most of the night and I do the same, in a separate room. We've actually started sleeping in separate beds, not because we don't want to sleep together, but because the bed I sleep in severely hurts his back, and the bed he sleeps in severely hurts my back. Our s*x life is still good, and very constant, but it seems that anything we do outside the bedroom leads to arguments and one of us storming out of the house. Part of our stress is because we recently moved back to our hometown and we're living with my mother, which adds a lot of unnecessary stress, but I still feel as though we're falling apart, and fast. We don't have fun with each other anymore, we used to laugh and play all the time, but now, time together is so negative. And I've found myself craving physical attention from guys (Not sexual, just hugs, snuggling, things that I don't get from my husband). Aside from counseling, what can be done to help our marriage? Every time we discuss our issues with each other, it turns into an argument and then a fight.

Answer 1

Communication!!!  Communication!!!

If you don't communicate and explain your feelings thought and ideas you will not last. That and Get out of the house fast!!

Answer 2

It's never any good when your sleeping in separate beds! Buy a new bed that you can sleep in together for starters.

Answer 3

Your answer is in your story.

You live with your mother. That will damage a s*x drive.

Get a new bed, doesnt matter the expense. You have no idea the importance of marrage if you can not come to the same understanding about a bed. Your back hurts so you each neglect each other? No wonder the marriage is failing? You each have failed each other. He is failing you as a man because he has you living home still and you fail your husband by abandoning his needs. First chance you get- MOVE!! There is only room for ONE KING in each caslte!!!

Answer 4

dont worry some times its happen in most of the time , why ? u know anyone dont want to go first better thing is that you should not wait that your husband ask you what is the matter you should go give a sweet hugh to husbad and try to ask what happen make a candle light dinner same like first night just i think u will get good result  

Answer 5

This is probably stress from living with parents, and I'm sure you are well aware what even a little bit of stress can do to a person. Maybe when you get your apartment things will ease up a bit...? I wouldnt throw away the entire relationship on the fact that he doesnt cuddle you that much...didnt you notice that when you were dating? Marriage is like that, things cool off after time. I'd have a little chat about it, maybe he is feeling the same way as far as stress. Throw out the computer for a night or two, too. It's too easy to loose yourself in what you are doing on there and you need time together, even if to just watch a few tv shows together. Remind each other why you married in the first place. All love cant be gone already.

You need to get a sleep number bed :)

Answer 6

What do you mean aside from counseling? If you don't find the right person to help you and fast.......you're going to be sorry you didn't. Well, even more importantly than that - living with your mother is no longer an option if you want to save your marriage. Many couples wouldn't survive even living within 5 miles of either of their parents. This whole thing with the bed is a lame excuse for avoiding the serious issues between you. What you have right now is not a  marriage. If you crave affection from other men, it's not entirely his fault but a problem with self control that you have. You're both looking at your marriage for selfish ends which it was not designed to fulfill. Once you're both looking out for the other's needs and viewing your marriage as an opportunity for you to help the other, serve them and meet their needs - rather than expecting them to be and do it all for you - you'll be on the healing end of this. Both of you need to learn what it is you're doing wrong and begin to right your actions. But, first - you need to move out - a cardboard box would suit you better if you want to save your marriage.  

Answer 7

The first year of marriage is always the hardest . You are still trying to get used to each others little quirks and habits  . And having to live with your mother is just adding to the stress of it all .

Since every time you two try sitting down and discussing the issues between you there are 2 things that you could possibly try .

#1 The both of you sit down and write what it is that you would like to see change . Example : you would like to see more physical attention such as hugs , kisses , ect.

And maybe he would like see the both of you sit and talk out your issues with out fighting .

After writing every thing down exchange letters . Then agree to at least try and change some of the things that are written down .

#2 Role play . You play the role of him and act as he would and he plays the role of you and act as you would .

Example : He will sit and act like he's upset over not getting enough physical attention . And you can sit at the computer acting like nothing else exist except you and the computer .

By doing this you will have a chance to see just what you might look like and act like and may be enough to convince you that you need to change .

The 2 of you also need to sit down and set a goal for yourselves .

A goal as to when you will be moved out of your mothers and into your own home .

Start checking around and get some prices on how much rent will be , call the utility companies and ask approximately how much that utility runs per month . This will give you an idea as to how much you will need to save up to get your own place .

There are also some apartments that not only will include utilities but will also base the rent on your income per month .

Best of luck to the both of you .

Answer 8

6 months and you're already seeing major changes?

I'm sorry to say this, but your marriage was over before it even began. To ask for advice and then end your post with limitations on advice, tells me you do not have what it takes to do what is necessary to save your marriage.

Plus you two should not have gotten married until you were stable, instead you end up living at home.