Help for insecure 7 year old who says he hates himself?

Question

I have 4 children,7yr old boy, boy/girl twin 6 yr. olds and 4.5 boy. My worry is my 7 yr. son who is normal sized just petite/slim boy that hates himself because of his size. My twin 6 year olds are both over 3-4 inches taller & heavier than him and my 6 yr daughter just got picked INSTEAD of my older son for a soccer team at school, and my 4.5 yr boy wears the same sized clothing and is starting to rub it in his older brother (despite punishment) I just always tell him size doesnt matter, and point out his strenghts but he just responds by pointing out his weaknesses(which he considers are being bad at sports and being small)constantly tells me he hates himself and its gotten to the point where EVERYTHING he does is a problem for him. other night he dropped a plate while setting the table and he called himself stupid and got so upset. I constantly tell him I love him just the way he is, and point out positives but nothing helps. What should I do to improve his self-esteem?

Answer 1

Get him therapy before it damages his self esteem to a point where recovery is jeopardized.

Also have him checked by the pediatrician for growth situations that might be and issue.

Answer 2

try telling him a story about a boy who was small when he was younger but when he got older he grew and got big and strong. try to convince him its okay to be small. i dont know it sounds like you are doing everything you can to convince him its okay so if nothing else i would go see a therapist or someone for professional advice.

:) hope this helps.

Answer 3

My 7 year old is also very skinny. I put him into wrestling and that helped his self-esteem out also my boyfriend lifts weights so my son works out with him, he just uses little 5 pound weights and that makes him feel like hes cool and he thinks that he's getting big muscles. I would ask him what he wants to do (sports) and put him in it, not any of the other kids so he does not have to compete with his brothers and sisters.

Answer 4

he needs to go see a thearperist because hes waaaay to young to be beating himself up like that

Answer 5

Try getting him into an activity like Karate that boosts confidence.  You could also start a ritual every night at dinner where each person has to say something special about another person but no two people can pick the same person.  This way everyone gets a chance to shine.

Answer 6

It sounds to me as if your little guy could benefit from speaking to a therapist. In addition, his pediatrician might be able to help with a diet that will be more nutritious for him. Maybe he's not getting all of the nutrients he needs in order to grow.

Answer 7

He must be good at something.  Is he more of an artist, does he like karate, swimming, music, horseback riding, skateboarding, tennis, gymnastics?  There are a host of things where size does not matter at all.  You need to focus on these.  Also, make sure you don't put all your kids into the same activities.  I know it is much easier scheduling wise but we changed my son to different music lessons from his sisters (different instrument and school) and it was a great idea.  His self esteem blossomed when he didn't have to compete with his sisters.   Competitive team sports tend to be bad for smaller kids but many individual activities are quite good and involve much less pressure for a child as there are no teammates to yell at you.  

It is very odd and worrisome that he is so down on himself.

Answer 8

try feeding him tons of calcium this will help his bones and tell himm that it does not matter ,tell him if the coach did not pick him its his loss

priase him and get family to do it too

Answer 9

maybe yew could get the whole family involved without him knowing, like yew could tell the other children to not get jealous when yew praise him first and then praise anything he does; notice his drawings or how he eats so much more healthy food than the others but don't overwhelm him.

Answer 10

Take him to a therapist. Internet advice will do no good.

Answer 11

Sorry for whats going on BUT NO CHILD AT 7 Should know how to bash themselves. sound slike hes listened toy ou or your husband or family members bash themselves

But tell him that in a fewy years he will be strong and be able to be big and will kick butt.

Good luck