Help for my 12 yr.old son?

Question

past few months I found out that my 12 yr.old son stole my jewelries and gave it to his female friend (a classmate). I got the shocked of my life when the girl and her grandmother came to my house to return the stuffs that my son gave her. After that we also found out that he used my husbands credit card to pay to download a game from the internet. He has been stealing money from us too but he doesn't spend it. today when i was cleaning his room I found a cable bill under his pillows and saw some video on demand being charged, 2 were adult movies. I've already talked to him but i still need more advices about this..pls. help.

Answer 1

1. put a parent lock code on your cable for pay per view movies so your son can't order them.  Change the code once a month because kids will spend hours going through the numbers trying to find the code.

2. your son has to pay for the movies. Either take it from his allowance or give him chores that will equal out.

3. go ahead and put a different password on your computer as well.  Most likely he is looking at online p**n as well.  Also, put a block on your phone for 1 900 numbers.

4.  Get a lock box for your jewelry and credit cards until he gets out of this phase.  Yes he needs to be punished, but you must also secure your assets until you are confident he will no longer do this.

5.  You need to come down VERY hard on this.  It sounds like he has been getting away with these things for a while and he needs to learn while he is still young that their are severe consequences or he will end up in juvenile jail  or eventually adult jail.

6.  Make sure that even though the consequences are severe that he sees light at the  end of the tunnel or he will just give up.

7. Don't call him a thief.  You want him to know you disapprove of his behavior not HIM.

8.  With one of our kids, when nothing else seemed to work, we took literally everything out of his room while he was at school, even clothes.  Yes it was alot of work and a pain but he never stole again.  We told him that with nothing in his room we would know that there was nothing stolen in there.  BUT for every day he didn't steal, we gave him the choice of one object he wished to have back.  We did this for one or two weeks and then gave it all back.  Obviously he was grounded during this time with absolutely nothing to do but sit in an empty room.  This gave him both negative and positive consequences and allowed him to earn his way out of trouble.

I suggest you speak with the school counselor.  School needs to be aware that this is happening so they can watch for it and the counselor can suggest other things to do and/or provide counseling for him.

Answer 2

I would start taking his toys away and telling him that he would not be getting them back until he proves to me that he will stop steeling.  I would also tell him that using his fathers credit card with out permission and using the video on demand with out your permission is steeling too.  I would also keep talking to him about the adult movies and telling him that they are not apprpriate for boys his age.

Answer 3

come down hard on him now

take away everything he likes having and enjoys doing and then make him earn it all back over time with good behavior and the right attitude.

don't be weak - be firm and consistent.

I am the Father of three boys 17, 15, 13.

In my house it's called "taking the wheels off his wagon"

Answer 4

wow, this is hard for you as a parent, take him for counselling, it won't hurt, just help.  

Answer 5

its just a phase dont be to hard he probably watched p**n online to so talk to him now about that but i would only take away computer  and tv for a couple of days and u should put a parental lock on tv and computer also make him pay u back but mostly justr ttalk to him about the stealing