Help for young child?

Question

My 7 year old is being rejected by some what she says are her good friends. I do not know what to say to her and teach her to not worry about what others are thinking. Recently there was an event and she did not get invited, by a girl who has been attached to her hip in the past. She is going to find out about the event and I know her heart will be broken. What should I do to help her not feel so left out and to move on?

Answer 1

sometimes i think we stress more than we think our children do. they are more resilient than we give them credit for. they will have learn on their own to pick and choose their friends. we cant always be there with them the only thing that we can do is to teach them what we know and pray that they make the right decisions.  i know i wish i could be there with my kids everytime one of their friends hurt them or when they got left out of getting picked for a team at pe or even being a line leader you want to constantly shield them. thats good but dont let it become unhealthy for the child, they need that learning experience so they can make the right choices

Answer 2

I have a 7 yr old son. He comes home sometimes with his feelings hurt. Usually the problem with him is name calling. I tell him, that its very rude to name call, and to not give into that game. It takes a much bigger person to walk away, and to not plug into that game. .  I feel so awful when I see him comming home saying so and so called him a dork. I just tell him its only a name, and to shake it off.   My heart goes out for your daughter, I would sit her down and tell her the truth yourself before she hears that nonsensce come from some where else, and I would tell her that there are more good ppl out there that she will become friends with. A true friend would never exclude her, I mean...even if the friend at least invited her knowing she couldn't come......its the invitation at that age that counts. I would probably...(knowing myself)  talk to the girls mother, and tell her how hurt your little one is. See if her daughter would like it if the tables were turned.   Good luck!!!

Answer 3

Well I have a 7 yr old too in 2nd grade and  I will tell you this has been the most dramatic year so far.  She comes home everyday and says well so and so said this.  I just explain that they are just mad and you don't want to be friends with someone like that anyway.  The next day or week they are friends again anyway.

Answer 4

I also have a 7year old girl. It is my understanding from her teachers this year and last year, that this is a common occurance with girls at this age.

This is basically the beginning of peer pressure. You will usually find that there is one girl at the center of all of the drama. The "Instigator". She is usually an outgoing girl who may get into trouble a lot for talking. This girl is usually jealous of others having a closer relationship to someone else than they have with her, so she will single out different girls and talk about them to the ones that she wants to befriend. Because this girl is so outgoing, she is appealing to others and they want to be her friend. The other girls will even go so far as to be mean to their true friends, just to make this other girl like them better.

My daughter was approached by this type of girl and she was pressured to be mean to her friend, with a promise that this girl would be her friend. I'm proud to say that my daughter would not be mean to her true friend. But, because of this, the girl then had the other girls be mean to my daughter.

We discussed how this particular girl probably needed to feel needed and that although I know it hurts her feelings, she should try to understand how it must feel to be this other girl.

As far as her "friends" are concerned, I left it up to her if she would forgive any that were mean to her. I mentioned that they may not have been as strong as she was when this girl pressured them to be mean. I told her how proud of her I was that she didn't waver to the pressure and to remember how it feels to have others be mean to her, so that she continues to be strong.

Answer 5

my son is 8yrs and at this age they bounce back really quick and will be playing together soon

Answer 6

This is one of the hardest things to see your child hurt by so called friends. My daughter (also 7) is also having a hard time with her friends who constantly say "if you don't do this or that I am not your friend. Or if you talk to so and so I am not your friend". What I have told her is sometimes kids are mean and you learn who are real friends and who are not. There is really no way to make it easier, you just have to hug them and comfort them the best you can. The beginning of the year she would come home crying over it, now it is really starting to get on her nerves. I work as a substitute EA at their school and talked to the whole group of kids myself today about saying these things to one another. But I am sure they will say it again soon. I have just told her to do/play with who she wants and not worry what they say, because no matter what one says the other says the opposite. And I just remind her I love her and she always has a friend in me and her older sister.

I have also told my daughter as far as parties go, every parent has a limit on how many kids can go. It will hurt her feelings but there will be another party she will get invited to. And on the day of the party she is missing, do something special with her like go to the movies to keep her mind of it somewhat.

Good luck my kids are 7 and 9 and my best advice is to just be there for them because there are always kids like this. And I have told them there will come a day when you get a really good friend who will not do these things to you, they have just not came along yet. My oldest has found one but it has been this year in 3rd grade, so my youngest does see there are friends who will not do these things to you.