Help getting over a guy...when you already have one that loves you unconditionally...?

Question

I have been engaged for a little over 2 1/2 years...a couple months ago I met "the other guy"...we emailed and talked all the time and I started to really like him...my fiance and I have been having a lot of problems and I have wanted to call for a break for a very long time(he cheated on me for a year)...i called off our engagement...right after that "the other guy" invited me to come for a visit...he payed for my plane ticket and everything...I almost moved in with him, he sent me money to send all my stuff out so I wouldn't have to use my own money...BUT in a period of 12 hours he went from wanting nothing but me to going back to his ex-girlfriend...the time I spent with him was amazing...BUT he didn't like that I smoke, drink or have tattoos...I am still with my fiance, even though we aren't engaged at the moment...he took me back after everything I did to him and has never stopped saying that he forgives me...I love him to death and I feel so comfortable around him, but I still can't stop thinking about this other guy...I know that the other guy is nothing but a loser, but the way he handled the situation was just so f****d up...how do I get over him? All I want is to be happy and I realize now that my fiance makes me happy, sure we have our fights and arguments, but who doesn't? Please help.....did any of that make sense? Sorry if it didn't

Answer 1

If I have this right, the other guy sent you money to move your stuff to his home and you guys were going to move in together, then he changed his mind and wanted his ex. Now you keep thinking of him but yet you love your fiance. Whats next? you move on that's what. The guy who you are now with needs to be sent down the road too., He cheated on you for pity sake. Cheats once ...Cheats twice...I garantee that. You need to spend time on finding out who you are and what you want out of life before you ruin it altogether.

Answer 2

I don't know you so my advice can only be speculated from what you have told us...but it sounds to me (again, just my opinion) is that you may not be thinking about this guy because you have feelings for him, but you are thinking about him because for a fleeting moment he gave you a "fantasy" then took it away.

It could be the embarrassment of his actions that keep gnawing at you and not any love that he falsely displayed for/to you.

As long as you keep letting him "rent space in your head" you won't be able to let it go.