Help here . i am about ready to slap the living h**l out of my hubby . few more answers please ?

Question

PS:Sorry i am a bit pissed today so some words may start flying out .

I had no idea i would here asking this question today but i guess this is my turn . my hubby of 5 years is acting stupid and he thinks i dont know . all of this started last week when he was a bit way too quiet but very nice to me, doing everything i wanted , but he didint want to talk about what was bothering him . i have never felt the need to check on him cause i trust him . i trusted him enough to let him go in my sister 's hubbys club on friday without me . boy he came home and the next day i felt something wasnt right . so i took his phone and all of the incoming text messages were erased but not the outgoing ones so i had the chance to read two of them before he got out of the bathroom . they were to a female one was saying" i really liked your company tonight , it was fun thanks " and the other " did you get home safe? , what are u still doing up? you should go to bed." two mn after i went back in there to finish reading them and i saw that he erased all of them also . this was since friday and i didnt ask him anything cause i am too tired and sick right now . heck i am 18 weeks prego and headaches are just killing me. he is being great at helping in the house and is never going out but his blackberries isnt leaving his pocket either . geez if it is what i think it is i am so ready to kick him , beat him and slap him . you know all that . i mean i am here suffering and him, having fun? and me who was thinking about doing something special for his birthday coming next week ? God what should i do ? I am just so pissed i can t think straight. should i confront him? he will say i dont have any proof?

this is our second child . i know it is to a woman caus ei saw her phone number and her name . what should i do ?

6 hours ago - 3 days left to answer.

Additional Details

6 hours ago

how do i go about it without him feeling that i am invading his privacy . this is a huge deal for him .

Answer 1

you snooped and now you know, confront him or let it go...I would confront him and not let him get side tracked with the privacy issue, if you trusted him this wouldn't be a problem.....

Answer 2

If you say something to him he is going to deny it and make sure he cleans up the evidence better next time. You should give it sometime and continue to read. Right now it is wrong but it isn't sexual yet. He isn't going to stop communicating with her regardless of what you say or do. He is just going to find a better and slicker way. If you don't plan to leave him then it is not worth the argument. He knows what he is doing is wrong that is why he is erasing the messages and being extra nice to you.

Answer 3

Wow.  That definitely sounds like a tough one but only because you value his privacy.  Still, if it was my wife she would confront me.  That's one of those things that would start off with, "I know I shouldn't have been looking at your blackberry but...".  I hate to say this, but you would be justified in asking the question.  You two clearly have been through a lot seeing as how you are working on child #2 and this is something that needs to get out in the open.  I wouldn't start it off with telling him you want to slap the living h**l out of him, but it needs to be addressed.

Best of luck!

Answer 4

something similar to this happened to me.... and im sorry to say this but most oof the time out gut feeliings are true.  i didnt even care if they did anythign.  the fact that they talk that "way" was enough for me.  you are his wife... and your not just a toy.  you have to be respected

Answer 5

Sorry, there is no such thing as "privacy" in marriage unless you are using the bathroom.

Confront him definitely!  Then tell him to choose, it's you or the other women, can't be both.  He chooses you then you lay out the law like you want it to be.

Answer 6

omg i have had the same problem - my hubby tetxs his exes and sometimes clears them but sometimes forgets and ya, i snoop to see whta hes up to and i have found things i dont like but i have never brought it up..., bcuz i am too lame to admit i snooped.

But you have kids and whatever hes doing OBVIOUSLY isnt right. You NEED to confront him. Ask him who he was with the night of the texts and if he lies, tell him you saw the texts and you wanna know whats up. You need to be braver than me and stand up for your family.

Answer 7

Okay - so his "privacy" is a big deal to him?

What about fidelity and being an honorable husband?

I guess that your self respect and health can just sit on the doorstep because God forbid you are to violate his precious privacy??

Girl - you deserve so much more than this. So what if your Sixth Sense picked up on something wrong and your snooped?

Hand him a kleenex and tell him to get over it.

Tell him what you know and get to the bottom of this. You are a good wife and you deserve an honest man - Not a man who picks up women's numbers in a bar and starts texting them!

Good luck.