Help! i cant stand my teenager!?

Question

we use to be so close she told me about her first kiss,days at school,you name it ,she is an honor student and beautiful she recently started beating up on my younger teenage daughter lying to me ,and basicly causing complete stress in my household,ive taken the my space away,cell phone etc.she only hates me more and now wont talk to me at all! i know we were all teenagers before,so trust me i can some what relate,but any advice is very appreciated!

Answer 1

sounds like she may a drugs or their is a issue at school i just took a 16 year old to juvi yesterday for the same thing

Answer 2

Make sure she has a roof over her head, food in the refrigerator and a place for hygiene.  I'm guessing she is about 15, and she wants to separate herself from her family.  It is normal.  Make sure you put your foot down when it comes to violence, but otherwise, leave her to her own thoughts.  On occasion ask her how she is doing.  It may end in an argument, because sometimes you just have to get down to their level to find out what is going on in their life.  You may even hear "I hate you!!!", my response was always "Well I don't like you very much right now either, but how's life?"  Good luck with her, and know, she WILL grow up and out of this awful stage of life.

Answer 3

Stay firm, that's what they need, and actually want.  Don't give in by giving her things and privileges she's not earning.  If she doesn't want to talk, fine, don't push it.  I think the key for you to understand is the need for consistency and will-power on your part, because once you move off of your position, then life TRULY will not make sense to her.  Let her suffer the natural consequences of her actions, without yelling and berating.  She must see that life, for you and the family, will go on with or without her, so that the ball is simply in her court as to whether she wants that to be a positive experience or a negative one.

Answer 4

join the club

im told it is a normal phase that teens must go through to seperate themselves from the bonds you have made and seek thier own independance--strong willed teens will be a bit worse but I am also assured it will pass--meanwhile find ways to cope and manage your own stress--concentrate on you and your sanity--leave her to her thoughts--and hope that some day she will get them straight--just keep providing her with an open slot if she needs or wants you which most likely wont be very often............................

.being a mother is grand!!!.........

Answer 5

I was going to say the same thing, when there is such a big change that occurs drugs should be a worry for sure. Good luck to you. You may also want to have her talk to someone because maybe there is something going on in her life that she can't talk about so she lashes out instead. Does she have a boyfriend? is there anyway he is abusive, physically or verbally/mentally. These are all important things to look into.  

Answer 6

Oh lord! I know exactly what you mean!  I am going through the same thing with my 15 yo.  It seems like overnight he has changed. He went from an ADD little boy that bounced off walls and could never sit still to an ADD teenager(God that even sounds scarey!  It all started when I found a homemade bong in his room recently!  I have also caught him smoking cigars on more than one occasion.  He talks back to me and looks me right in the eye like he dares me to do something.  He is careless and absent-minded, unmotived and lazy.  I also have a 7 month old-feel like life is h**l right now.  His dad works 12-hours shifts at night and is always in bed or at work. My son towers over me in height and is losing all respect of my authority!  I have tried everything but more and more I am losing control.  I am scared of his carelessness and possible drug use around my baby!  All this is causing severe anxiety to the point it is affecting my health!  My blood pressure rised 20 points when I just think about him!  If you figure out what to do with your out of control teenager let me know.  I could use any advice.  

Answer 7

Get her tested for drugs. Such a personality change would have me wondering what she's taking ....

Answer 8

You say,"Cant Stand".....? Isn't that a little harsh ? I mean, i understand that todays youth seem to be on a mission to''seek and destroy' today, But, you still have to love em, and i believe its only through loven en, that they will come out of this time in their life....But anyway, i think you should just stick to your guns and stand your ground, no matter what her reaction....Good luck !