Help i have an out of control 2 yr old,that <span title="hits,bites,pinches,anduses">hits,bites,pinches,anduse...</span> toys as weapons?

Question

if i leave her alone with her 6mo. old or 5 yrs old sister,for a minute,she will take her thumbs and dig them in the 6mo olds eyes,hit her 5 yr old sister upside the head with any toy she can,and grits her theeth while doing it,I have tried spanking,time out,and even reverse psycologly,by being nice and loving,I dont know how to stop it,and she is turning the whole house upside down,I have 4 kids and nothing like this has ever happened with the other children,she hurts them.please help

Answer 1

nanny 911 lol ,just give em discipline or sum thing like that..

Answer 2

call a nanny like mabye even nanny 911

Answer 3

well mabe she feels like your not paying er enough attention??? and try havingthe other kids hit,bite,and pinch back!!! that what made my neice stop biting!!!

Answer 4

You really need to figure out where she learned this behavior.  A 2 year old doesn&#039;t dig their thumbs into a siblings eyes unless they learned it from somewhere.  That is not something a 2 year old would think of on their own.

You have to remember that the way a toddler thinks is not the way an adult thinks.  You have to spell things out to her very explicitly.  Spanking her will not help, it will just show her that it is okay to use violence against people you love, which she is already doing.  A 2 year old is not going to be able to sit in time out for very long (it is a good rule of thumb to make time out for as many minutes as the child is old, so in this case, 2 minutes) but it will be useful if you consistently stick to it.  Being kind and loving is what you should do all of the time, that is not reverse psychology.  

Explain to her that physical violence (&quot;hitting&quot; will be the best word to use, I&#039;m sure) hurts people and that she shouldn&#039;t hurt the people she loves.  If you have stairs in your house have her sit on the bottom step for a minute or two.  If you don&#039;t have stairs have her sit on a stool in a corner.  Afterwards, tell her that you love her and that you don&#039;t want her to hurt other people any more.  After a while the message will sink in.

Seriously look at where she learned these behaviors, though, because I find that part really disturbing.  Is she in daycare? Does she go to a babysitter? The behaviors she is exhibiting sound like they are coming from a child who is physically abused at home so if that is not the case I&#039;d guess she is learning it from someone who is.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Discipline, discipline, discipline!  She has gotten away with the behavior for a long time and it&#039;s obvious.  You must also be consistent.  She could also be acting out in jealousy because she is no longer the baby so I suggest not leaving her alone with her sisters for now.

Set house rules, read them all to the children and then set consequences for each rule if it&#039;s broken.  Stick to it and stay consistent.  It will work IF you don&#039;t budge.  If she is in time out and runs away, pick her up and put her back....as long as it takes for her to stay there.  Take away a favored toy or perhaps take away TV privileges.  Super Nanny is nothing new and her methods are not original.  They&#039;ve been around for ages, so don&#039;t buy into anyone telling you to call Super Nanny or Nanny 911.  

And I have found a stern look and tone of voice works great for my own two year old.  He also receives a single swat on the behind when he is disrespectful or deliberately disobeys, of course he also is given an explanation as to why he is receiving the consequence he is receiving.  Toddlers do not understand reason like a preschooler or older child does.  They understand direct, quick responses to their misbehavior.  But always think before you respond.  If you cannot respond without being angry, set your two year old aside for a few moments until you can gather yourself together (time out for you both, so to speak) and then deal with her accordingly.

Most of all tell her biting or hurting her siblings is not tolerated and then enforce that rule with a consequence.  She *will* learn...if you stay consistent.  Also watch for her being nice and doing right.  Praise her with words when she is behaving.  It&#039;s natural for a child to want to please the ones they love, especially their parents.

Answer 6

she  need  a  good  thrashing...but  as  she  is  a toddler, don,t hurt her, but  stop  now  be  a little hard. i think it  will help.

Answer 7

No nanny 911 or professional help, she just needs discipline from her parents. The next time she does it, give her a couple of hard swats on her hiney and put her in a nice long timeout. Whatever you do be consistent, and everytime she misbehaves discipline her

Answer 8

First of all you need to understand that it won&#039;t be easy.  It will take time and patience.  Four children is a lot to handle and this one is shouting for attention.  You have to work on preventing the outbursts by making some alone time with her.  Just the two of you, even if it&#039;s only ten minutes per day.  Do it as part of your routine and do it when she is having a good moment, so she makes the connection that appropriate behavior gives you possitive attention.

You also need to set firm consequences for her outbursts.  You can say something like &quot;in this family we don&#039;t hurt each other.  Seems like you need to take a break to calm yourself down before you can come back to _______ (whatever she was doing,)  then isolate her for a few minutes, no more than five.  Keep doing this without an angry tone.  Let her know you are calm.  Also point out to her how the other child feels being on the receiving end of her aggression and offer her a way to help the hurt child feel better &quot;Sister is crying because he is in pain. Let&#039;s give her a hug and bring her some ice to put on the bite.&quot;  You also need to give her an outlet for her anger.  Give her some crayons and paper and tell her to show you how angry/hurt/etc. she is by drawing you a picture.  Tell her how you feel angry sometimes.  &quot;sometimes mommy feels so angry I want to scream.  Instead I punch a pillow, or I run fast in the yard, or I write in my journal.&quot;

I know it isn&#039;t easy.  You have your hands full, but you need to pull patience and energy together.  You can do it. The key is to remain consistent every time.  Don&#039;t let anything slip pass you.  Good luck!

Answer 9

Take your daughter to a child psychologist for &#039;testing&#039; ... and also have her blood tested.  There is something TERRIBLY WRONG with your little girl, and she needs PROFESSIONAL HELP.  NOW!!!   I had a &#039;problem child&#039; and sent him to see a child psychologist.  I wasn&#039;t there, and I don&#039;t know what he did with my child ... but after only five weekly sessions my child was much better behaved.  That child is now fully grown, successful, and a parent of two daughters ... there is NO VIOLENCE in this child&#039;s life AT ALL.  I&#039;m a psychologist, too, by the way, but I don&#039;t treat children (I have a different &#039;specialty&#039; ... but I do know that a good child psychologist when the child is only two can make ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD to YOUR child.

Answer 10

Start off by not leaving her alone with the 6 month old and the 5 year old.

Next, discipline. And keep consistent. That&#039;s the key. You don&#039;t need any psychological evaluation. You don&#039;t need supernanny or nanny 911. You need to be a parent. A consistent one. Don&#039;t expect everything to work after you do it once.

Answer 11

I think that the first step is to realize that she can&#039;t be left alone with others until she learns how &amp; why she should not be hurting them.  

So, if you can&#039;t be supervising her physically, she needs to be in a play yard, high chair, behind a baby gate, etc.   That, in itself, may be motivation for her to start paying attention to why she&#039;s not trusted &amp; to start learning how &amp; why to be trustworthy &amp; kind to others.  

Then, when you have time, sit &amp; play with her &amp; the other children.  While you&#039;re doing it, role play situations with her and with the others, talking the whole time, using big, honest (not silly!) facial expressions &amp; tone of voice to help her really understand.  Talk about how you feel when someone&#039;s nice to you.  How you feel when they&#039;re mean.  Talk about how *you* feel when you&#039;re tempted to hurt someone - why you feel that way - better ways to communicate &amp; interact, etc.  

Keep this up until you think she&#039;s starting to get it.  It may take weeks or months.  In the mean time - no alone time with other kids for her, still.

Then, slowly, give her a bit of supervised freedom.  At first with you right there, talking her through it when needed.  Then, backing off a little bit each time - making sure that she&#039;s still &#039;got it&#039;.  

This is such an important lesson in her life - you don&#039;t want to skimp on it at all.  And, just because this lesson is harder for her to get than it was for the others doesn&#039;t mean there&#039;s anything wrong - it just means that she is her own person.  I&#039;m sure there will be other lessons in life that she gets right away, but the others don&#039;t.  And, many lessons that she will teach you, too.

Answer 12

Sound like a priest and an exorcism is your only hope (just kidding)

Hopefully she will grow out of it. May be you can find another kid just as aggressive as her to be around for a while. After she gets a taste of being treated that way she may change her ways.

Whatever you do you better do it soon as they say most childrens personalities are developed by age (3).

Good Luck

Answer 13

gee, that&#039;s tough. all I can suggest is when she uses any toy as a weapon, take it away immediately and either throw it away if it&#039;s hers, put it in a box for &quot;the children who play nice&quot; or put it up where she can&#039;t get it for a week. this really worked with a child (2) that I took care of. it sucked for a few days, lots of screaming from him, but it really worked and made life happier in the long run for both of us. The big thing is to follow through on your word, as I&#039;m sure you know with 4 kids. if you say a consequence, follow through with it at the first sign of trouble. praise the good behaviour.

if you have to leave the room, put her in a playpen or something, or the other kids will have to learn to defend themselves, and that&#039;s not fair to them in there own home. she could really hurt them . good luck.

Answer 14

Sounds like she needs one on one time with Mommy or Daddy and to learn how to respect you guys.  Try timeouts, follow through and be consistent.